WHAT NOW?

End of an Era

2010-03-03T10:27:00.000-08:00

What Now?

On Monday, March 22, I turn in my part time stay-at-home Dad status for full time employee. I've been working toward this change for the better part of three years, and to finally have it has made life that much sweeter!

While I look forward with great excitement and anticipation I am grateful for the time I did get to spend as a part time SAHD. Those are days I will always treasure and look back with great fondness. So many dads feel lucky if they get to spend just a couple hours a week with their kids. I was truly blessed to get to spend so much time with mine, and I hope they felt the same way. I know that when I am sitting in my office I will look back and greatly miss those days.

This blog will always remind me of those days and how I got to share my experience, feelings and thoughts with the rest of the world (or at least the two to three dozen folks who stopped by to read my drivel). But, like all good things this too must come to an end. Since I will now be spending a great amount of my day at work, I want to make sure that when I am home I am HOME and spending my time with the people that mean the most too me, my always supportive wife and my wonderful kids. I don't want to sit in front of my computer writing things for strangers to read when I could be living in real time with my real family. Now please don't take these words as some kind of rant, they are not meant to be. After keeping this blog and reading so many others I do feel they serve a great purpose, both for the reader and writer. I have learned a lot from my fellow bloggers and I hope I have helped my readers a little too. It's just time for me to hang it up for a while and get back to reality.

I would never say never, and maybe after I get into a groove and find I do have some time to come back I will, so maybe you should check for whatnowdad every six months or so, just in case.

It has been fun, and I have enjoyed it. I wish you all the very best in life, and urge you to enjoy every second of it. We only go around this rock once so make it count.

For the last time (for now), peace out everybody!

GAME CHANGER

2010-02-25T16:17:00.000-08:00

WHAT NOW?

Yesterday it happened.

Three weeks after my interview.

I thought the worst when I got the call.

I didn't know what to think when she offered me the job.

We spent all last night talking it over.

I woke up one hour before I needed to get out of bed thinking about it.

We talked more about it this morning.

I called her back to trying to raise the salary.

I then accepted the job.

Again, I didn't know what to think.

I called my parents to give them the good news.

B called her family to do the same.

By mid morning it hit me.....

And I have been smiling ever since.

Today is a happy day!

More later.............

Training Tuesday - The agony of da-feet

2010-02-23T12:44:00.000-08:00

What Now?

If you are old like me and loved watching the Wide World of Sports you remember the opening of the show with "the thrill of victory" and "the agony of defeat" lines. I remember clearly the ski jumper taking a huge digger and crashing hard for defeat. Funny how I can't remember what the clip was for victory. Anyway, while watching some Olympic ski jumping my daughter asked me if the jumpers ever crash? I took her to the computer right away and youtubed that clip. Man, did that dude "F" himself up or what. Well, my post is not about that, but more my own agony.

Last year, just before I was set to run my first ever half marathon I got a bad case of plantar fasciitis in my left foot. I pulled out of the race and stopped running for a couple of months. When I started up again in December the foot felt great and I was back on track. I set out my goals for 2010 and number one on my list was to run another half marathon set for March 6. Everything has been going great until my long run 8 days ago. The next day I felt something in my right foot that sure felt like the beginning of plantar fasciitis. So, I started the healing routine again: ice, stretch, rolling my foot over a tennis ball, ibuprofen and no running all week.

Sunday, feeling great, I took off for my 10 mile long run. About mile 7 my foot starts to hurt, but not enough to get me to stop. I make it through the run OK, but that night my foot really started to hurt. For the past couple of days I have been in real pain. This sucks. I am 11 days away from finally running my first half marathon and I’m looking another DNS in the face. I really don’t want to pull out of it, but I also don’t want to make things worse and threaten the rest of my racing year.

B suggested I see the LMP-C IMT (integrated manual therapy) she sees for some intense sports therapy massage. This guy puts her through the ringer, but if he can get me to run on the 6th I’ll take the pain. The only real issue I have is HE IS A GUY and I have a long standing rule against having a male massage therapist…but I want to run that damn half, so I am breaking my rule this once. I just hope "it does not move" like it did for George on Seinfeld.

Here's to my journey into a new frontier.

Peace out!

Media Monday - 9, not a bad movie...even with dolls

2010-02-16T13:50:00.001-08:00

What Now?

I am a sci fi geek. If it's in this genre you can bet I will watch it, and most likely enjoy it. When I saw the trailer for Tim Burton's "9" I thought I had found the exception. It looked more like a Saturday morning cartoon on some teeny bopper cable channel than a movie that I would enjoy. But, it went on the Netflix queue, somewhere near the button of the list, with little hope of making it to the mail slot.

Sometime I forget about the queue and am surprised when a movie comes that I was not expecting. And if it's a movie I'm not thrilled about to begin with there is a good chance it's opened, put back, re-sealed and put in the send slot. I decided to give this movie a try instead, and what I saw was not too bad at all, not great, but not bad.

The premise is the old "man vs. machine" storyline but it takes place after machines have won. What is left from man are these robot dolls, each with their own personality and feelings. The movie opens with the main robodoll, 9, trying to figure out what he is, where he is, and what else is around him. What he finds is a tribe of robodolls all hiding away from the last remaining machines, trying to survive, but not much else. 9 challenges their belief system when one of their own gets taken alive by one of the machines. He recruits some others to help him save their stolen friend, and in the process they learn a great deal about themselves and each other. When the "master" machine is awaken to cause more chaos, this band of friends join together to stop it, and save themselves in the process. It's not really until the end of the movie that their purpose on earth is reveled to the movie watcher, and because of that you could find yourself wondering what the hell this movie is all about anyway.

There are some nice action scenes and the story is pretty well told, but if you are on the fence when it comes to science fiction movies this won't do much for ya. It's not my favorite Tim Burton movie, but I would give it a 2.75 out of 5 whatnows....not good enough for a full 3, but better than average.

That's all I got, take care and peace out!

Priorities, priorities

2010-02-10T14:10:00.001-08:00

What Now?

I am a sucky blogger, not all the time, just lately really. I do have excuses, plenty of them. First off, my flat lining career has shown signs of life in the past couple of weeks. It's not enough for me to think things will go back to "Shangri-La" like my family had it a few years back, but it's nice to see things picking up again and the income is a welcome surprise.

Another item keeping me away from the blogosphere is the morning long interview I had last week for a new job, and new career path. While the actual interview only took a couple of hours, it has occupied a great deal of space inside my head. If I am offered this job there are so many things to think about. If I take this job the entire structure of my family life will change. The thing my wife I need to figure out is does this change life for the better or not? Every career change I have taken has forced my wife to change, either her job, or our location, or both. At this stage of the game it's really important we make the right decision for our family. The toughest part is just waiting to find out if we even have a decision to make. Until then it continues rent space in my head, of which there is not much room to spare.

Besides these two big events, it just seems life is getting busier and busier. Basketball for our 8-year old has started and I'm coaching again. There seem to be more school activities than ever and my wife and I are always trying to volunteer for them. It also seems like more than ever the members of our immediate family have their own mini-crisis going on, which we hear about daily and bear some of the stress that goes along with them.

So, in the grand scheme of things this little old blog of mine has taken a back seat, but I think that is OK. Life will continue to move, and most of the time if you don't move with it you get left behind and struggling to catch back up. I do like writing my blog posts, and hearing from some of the nice folks that read what I write, but until I start getting paid for this little hobby it will remain a low priority for me.

OK, let's do a quick rundown for the time I've missed:

Media Monday - I haven't seen any movies lately, but do have Four Christmases and 9 at home from Netflix waiting to be watched. when I finally get to them I'll let you know what I think.

Training Tuesday - My first ever half-marathon is less than a month away and I feel very ready. I will never run these races fast, but I should finish with a respectable time and feel good doing it. You can't really ask for more than that.

Wisdom Wednesday - "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." - Friedrich Nietzsche

I have been thinking about this quote a lot lately, and it really does help.

Random Thoughts Thursday - The last two winters here where I live have been brutal with the snow and cold. This winter is a mild as ever, and I see the storms the East Coast is getting and I kinda miss it.

Friday Family - Like I mentioned above our 8-year old has started basketball again. Last year was her first time playing organized basketball and she was OK individually but we had a stellar team that went undefeated. This year our team is struggling, but our girl is the star (she dropped 20 points last night). It's hard for me as the coach not to get overly excited for her without showing favoritism...but inside I am loving watching her kick ass!

That's all folks...take care and peace out!

Tuesday Training - When life gets in the way

2010-02-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

What Now?

Today was a crazy, crazy day. At the crack ass of dawn my wife left for a work trip. She doesn't travel all that much, but when she does I become Dad and Mom (not to mention I miss her like crazy!).

So, at 6:15 I get out of bed, into the shower and down the stairs to prepare for the day. The girls came down shortly after and the morning ritual was on. Eat, dress, brush (teeth and hair), make lunches, pack backpacks, put the dog away and hit the road for school drop off. After I drop off the kids I drive over to the home office of my new part time job to drop off my time slip. I then head to my office and work both my "full-time" job and part-time job until 3pm. At 3pm I pick-up the girls from school and we head home to do homework and practice piano.

We then head back out the door for my daughter's basketball game at 5pm. After the game my parents wanted to treat us to dinner at the new restaurant in town, but after hearing the wait was going to be an hour we head over to Arby's (god, fast food...my body just can't take that stuff anymore). We get home a little after 7pm and start up the nighttime routine. Bath time, put on jammies, brush (again teeth and hair), read a book and lights off. Whoa, I made it and nobody got hurt!

So, my grand plan was to workout after the kids fall asleep. After a non-stop day, a belly full of fast food, and my training partner out of town my motivation is just not there. It's funny that just a couple of years ago I could justify not working out on a lot less excuses than that, but these days I feel like a total lazy ass if I miss a day of training. I feel heavier, less energetic, moody, and just a little part of me feels disappointed. But, like every other parent trying to keep all their dogs on the leash, I have to remind myself that sometimes life just gets in the way of working out. Sure I could have gotten up with my wife this morning and got it done. I could have left my office early and got it done. I could have sat my kids in front of the TV when we got home from school and got it done. I could get off this computer right now and get it done. But I'm not going to, and that is OK, and I have to remind myself of that.

I am so happy that at this point of my life I get a little disappointed when I don't workout, instead of overjoyed when I do. I am as healthy as I have every been, and doing things I never thought possible. If a day or two goes by without a workout getting down it won't be my downfall, it won't be my end game, it will just be life getting in the way. Until I start drawing a paycheck for my athletic pursuits it will always be that way, and I am OK with that! I do know one thing...I'm getting up early tomorrow to get my run in, and I'm looking forward to that!

Take care and peace out!

Media Monday - The Hangover left me floored

2010-02-01T20:19:00.000-08:00

What Now?

Up until this weekend I am pretty sure that my wife and I were the only people left in the world who had not seen The Hangover. We both heard from countless friends and family that not only was The Hangover a must see movie, but it was one of the funniest in the history of film.

Well, finally after weeks of waiting the Netflix gods answered our prayers and sent us this movie. After we tucked the kids in bed, waiting the necessary 15 minuets until they stopped coming into our room complaining of a belly ache or other ailment that was keeping them awake, we snuck downstairs, grabbed a glass of wine, popped in the movie and waited for the hilarity to come.

And come it did. Now, I don't know if I'm ready to put this movie in the class of Old School and Wedding Crashers, but I will say this was one damn funny movie. How can you go wrong with this storyline...four guys in Vegas to celebrate a friends upcoming wedding. I mean come on, this movie could do no wrong. Throw in a Mike Tyson cameo and you have comedy gold I tell ya.

What was great about this movie is you never actually see the night of male stupidity in action, but the next day when the boys, all a little "hungover" try to piece the evening together in order to find their missing friend, the groom. Each new piece of the puzzle is revealed, and as the story builds so does the funny. I just about peed myself when the "lucky charm" jumps out of the trunk of the car and beats the shit out of all the guys with a tire iron (if you've seen the movie you know the scene, if not just know there is full frontal nudity involved, and not the good kind!)

The cast is equal to the story as well. You have the good looking trouble maker played by Bradley Cooper, who I have to admit is a very handsome fella..if you like that kinda thing. The poor sap friend with the bitch-from-hell girlfriend played by Ed Helms (also know as the Nard Dog from The Office). The misfit soon-t0-be brother-in-law invited as a friendly family gesture played by Zack Galifanakis (I have never heard of this guy before, but he steals the show in my opinion) and of course the reluctant and missing groom played by Justin Bartha. It's great to see a comedy with relatively fresh faces. Don't get me wrong, I can watch Vince Vaughn, either Olson brother and Seth Rogan until the cows come home, but it's nice to see some other actors shine.

The one thing my wife and I could not stop talking about is how "rough" they made these guys look the day after. I mean really, if this movie wins any awards it should be for make-up, because it was spot on. We've all been there, and you can just feel their pain when they wake up the next morning. It made me stop drinking my glass of wine about half way through.

So, overall I gotta give this movie 4 out of 5 what nows. If you like comedy and are not too easily offended you must see this movie, oh...I almost forgot, you already did see it. Well now you can talk about it in front of me without giving anything away. And always remember "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you."

Take care and peace out!

Family Friday - The eternal battle

2010-01-29T12:35:00.000-08:00

What Now?

This is the story of The Constant Baker vs. The Clean Kitchen Maker;

For as long as I can remember
and even a little before then
There has been a battle in my house
between the two of us, now and again

You see when we got married
We made a deal to ease our stress
She would do the cooking
And I would clean up her mess

For the first several years of marriage
We did our part at each meal
While all the time thinking
"Sucker, I got the best of this deal"

But what we did not notice
What we failed to see
Was the battle that was brewing
Between her and between me

Now I have to admit
That my wife's a great cook
She can whip out any dish
Either from her head or from a book

But with her great cooking
Comes a price to be paid
As I look in our kitchen
To see the terrible mess that was made

But, we had a deal
So I'll go it alone
Straight into the kitchen
Enter the disaster zone

Every plate gets washed
Every surface gets scrubbed
And when I finally finish
I feel like I was just drubbed

But when I am done
I can't help but think
How fucking great it all looks
From the range to the sink

As I sit my ass down
After a job well done
I hear the faint sound
Of her on the run

She is back in the kitchen
And ready to bake
Making a mess again
Oh, for fuck sake!!!

And so it continues
For the clean kitchen maker
This ongoing battle
With his constant baker

Enjoy your weekend everyone...and peace out!

Thursday Random Thoughts - No subject needed

2010-01-28T12:50:00.000-08:00

So I forgot my Wednesday Wisdom post yesterday...so sue me, I was busy, forgot, had better things to do. What do you expect from someone who is used to blogging whenever the mood struck. This trying to post 5 days a week thing is tough, but today is a new day and time for some random thoughts.

What Now?

No real subject today, so let's get real random:

The sun is out today, and I can't tell you how happy that makes me feel. The last few days have been cloudy, foggy, cold and down right depressing. Just give me a little sunlight and you can bet my mood will be cheery.

Am I the only one sick of hearing about the Olympics and they haven't even started yet? The US Figure Skating Championships were held in Spokane last week, and because I get their television channels I have heard about the damn things for over a year solid. Now you can't watch 3o seconds of any NBC show without them telling you to tune into the Olympics. Enough already..I get it! The Olympics are coming soon, you are going to broadcast 10 million freaking hours of coverage, the only place to see the action is on your station....FRACK! Just get the damn things over with so my brain doesn't implode.

What is the deal with members of congress sitting down and standing up like a Catholic mass during the President's State of the Union address? Is it really necessary? Can't they just clap? And if they insist on standing why do the members of the opposite party just sit there like a pile of monkey shit? For some reason I just can't believe either political party is very interested in working with the other, even if it means making our country better.

I would shoot myself if I was Heidi Montag's father. How messed up can a person be? I feel like shooting myself right now because I actually have an opinion on Heidi "freaking" !Montag!

What does making a boat load of money for their athletic ability do to the brains of professional athletes? Do you really need to bring a gun and point it at a teammate after practice, or take naked photos of yourself and your HUGE friend, and does being the best at your sport give you reason to do whatever it is you feel like, regardless of how it will affect the people closest to you? The bigger question is why do we all still pay our hard earned money and cheer for these losers?

So far this post has been a little negative, so let me end on a positive. After work I am going to the store and buying a 6-pack of my favorite beer. I know what I said at New Years, but damn it I love the taste of beer...and I'm not ashamed to admit that. So, if you feel the same way...grab a cold one and let's have a toast...to beer, and to life, and to trying to enjoy each and every second we have of it!

Take care and peace out!

Training Tuesday - Shout Out Time

2010-01-26T14:14:00.000-08:00

What Now?

I am a big, big fan of keeping records of things. I guess is the organizational (some call anal) side of me that loves to know what I did, when I did it and how it went. When my wife and I decided a few years back that we were going to kick start our exercise programs and start actually training for races we came across (actually my wife came across, but I love to share credit) a nifty little training blog that has since become as much a part of our training programs as the actually running, biking and swimming.

The blog site is sweat 365 and they are dedicated to "supporting your every-day fitness, no matter what your level and no matter what your goals are. They'll deliver you inspiration to move more - every day. At Sweat 365 you can easily keep track of your workouts, blog about fitness and life, and connect with other athletes. You'll find training guides for races of all distances, disciplines, and levels of competition."

I love seeing how many hours I have trained, how fast I have run/biked and reading other bloggers talk about their fitness, races and overall training experience. The support from the other bloggers is amazing as well. You can easily find several other bloggers at your same level trying to accomplish the same goals you are. When I was training for my first marathon last year I can't tell you how many great stories I read and how many folks comments on my training blog posts wishing me well as I embarked on that amazing journey. I am also a user of their specialized training programs for races of all distances and disciplines, and will report that it worked great.

If you get a chance to check it out for yourself and maybe you'll be able to figure out who I am (of course I have a different name on that blog, for goodness sake I put a damn cartoon face on my blog, do you think I would risk being outed on another site?!?!)

Train hard and peace out!

Media Monday - Inglorious Bastards, I Love Ya!

2010-01-25T12:55:00.000-08:00

What Now?

This weeks Media Monday will be my little review of the film "Inglorious Bastards" by Quentin Tarantino (something I was supposed to get to last week, but ran out of day...with both kids home sick today I could probably write review of the last 10 movies I saw, but I'm also using my time to deep clean our kitchen...ok, back to the review).

When I first saw the previews for this movie I had three thoughts 1) Finally a new movie from Tarantino 2) That Brad Pitt is so filled with awesome and 3) Tarantino and Pitt..together...in the same movie,.,.,.,That fracking rocks! I was so excited about this moving coming out it was going on the "will see in the theater list.," A very exclusive list for all parents. As it turned out I missed it in the theater due to time, money, laziness, easily distracted issues. But, the day it hit the Netflix cue I was ready...and it didn't take long for my baby to come home.

Now, for those of you reading this post who dislike or don't care about the movies made by Quinton Tarantino I doubt I'll be making you a fan..but for those of you who, like me, love everything that the man every directed then this movie will not disappoint. Sure, there is a lot of violence. Hard core and sometimes gory violence. But in my view his movies are so much more than that. The characters he creates and the words that come out of their mouths are so damn entertaining that you sometimes forget that a man's head was just beating in with a baseball bat. OK, I love the violence too, but it's almost so over the top that it's a parody of itself. If you like a good story with good charterers then you will like this movie, unless you hate the violence, then you may want to check into a good Julia Roberts flick.

While I did not love this movie as much as "Kill Bill" (One of my top five movies of all time) it was still great to watch, and Brad Pitt delivers another great performance (like he could ever lay an egg...oh, is my man crush showing???).

Inglorious Bastards gets 4 out of 5 What Nows in this reviews 0pinion. Go forth and watch!

Take care and peace out!

Family Friday - The sleepover party

2010-01-22T11:19:00.001-08:00

What Now?

My girls have never really gone to a friend's sleepover party before, at least not a friend that we don't know the parents of very well. So, when both our 6 year old and 8 year old were invited to their school friend's birthday party (also, both 6 and 8 and sharing the same birthday, crazy right?) that included a full day of activities and a sleep over that night you could cut the nervous tension around my wife with a chainsaw. Not only do we not know the parents of these kids, but we have never even formally met in person. There have been emails, but you can hardly judge the parenting skills of a person by that. This might cause some issues at our house.

My wife asked if it would be normal to sleep in the car parked outside of their house? Then she wondered if showing up a the other daily activities for the party unannounced would be OK. For some reason I think my Saturday is going to involve me "talking her down" off that anxious parent ledge all day.

While my wife dreams up scenarios in which our children are in mortal danger, I am thinking about the free time I'll have on a Saturday, something that I have not enjoyed in a very, very long time. The weather is nice enough we could start to clean up the yard and garden areas in preparation for spring. We have a lot of de-cluttering to do around the house as well. Plus there are the training workouts that can be done with no interruption, and of course with an empty house there is always a chance for the adult play date. So many options for a free Saturday, it almost makes my head spin.

I do know that I will be taking my wife out for a nice dinner, again...something we have not done alone in a long time. Maybe if I get enough wine in her it will dull her senses enough to enjoy the peace and quiet. If not, I'll just park our car in front of their house, cover her up with a blanket and walk home.

Have a great weekend everyone. Peace out!

Thursdays random thoughts - Politics

2010-01-21T11:44:00.000-08:00

What Now?

There are certain subjects I rarely discuss with family and friends such as sex, religion and politics. I have carried that credo over to my blog posts as well, except for the occasional post on sex but since you people don't know me personally I feel pretty safe on that topic. Well, today I am going to talk a little about politics, which I realize could ruffle a few feathers...but then again, you don't know me personally so we should be just fine.

The reason I even bring up this subject is because it's gotten a lot of play in my own house recently. My wife and I are pretty much on the same thought pattern when it comes to politics. We would not call ourselves Republican or Democrat, because we don't blindly follow just one belief system (like my grandparents used too. My Mom would often say "If Mickey Mouse was running as a republican my parents would vote for him"). We try to vote for the candidate that we believe will do the best possible job for the people he/she represents, and not the party they belong too.

Last November we both voted for Obama because between the two candidates we had to choose from we felt he would so better job for our country than McCain would (and honestly, Sarah Palin for VP...what where they thinking?) I can honestly admit now that during the campaign I believed the hype. I drank the Kool-Aid. I honestly thought that what I was hearing would come to pass and the greatest country in the world would become even greater. And, I'm still waiting for that. I didn't expect all the problems that faced this administration to be solved within weeks of Obama taking office, but I did expect to see at least an thought or idea as to how those problems would be solved, right? I know it can't be an easy job for Obama, and the mess he was left with was pretty huge...but I feel like nothing has changed since this time last year, and for my wife and I that is very frustrating. I was reading a comment from a Democrat on some political blog and he said "if I wanted a Republican as President I would have voted for McCain."

Well, I think after the special election in Massachusetts I am not the only one that feels this way. While I didn't have a dog in that fight, I am very happy that the voters made their voices heard and let those people in Washington know that they should be listening to their constituents more and their party leaders less. And, hopefully now, there will be more work between both parties to help the American people and those people around the world to count on our help as well, instead of pushing one agenda no matter who it helps and/or hurts.

I now step off my soapbox and return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

PEACE OUT!

Wednesday Wisdom

2010-01-20T09:27:00.000-08:00

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."

- Mohandas Gandhi

This is a quote I found for my wife to help her training for Ironman this summer. I tend to like quotes that inspire people to move outside their comfort zone and try new things. As we tell our kids all the time, it's better to try something and fail then to never try it at all. That's tough lesson for kids and adults. It's so easy to just do what is comfortable, never trying things we think we can't achieve. It all starts in the head, and once your head thinks you can do something, your body will follow.

Take care and peace out!

Tuesday Training

2010-01-19T10:54:00.000-08:00

OK, so I already missed my first theme day for my new blog resolution...damn. Mondays are going to be devoted to media (movies, music, TV, games..etc) and I was ready to do a little review of Inglorious Bastards, but it just didn't happen so I'll catch up on that next Monday. But today is Tuesday so......

WHAT NOW?

I am going to dedicate my Tuesday blog posts to training, working out, exercise and all things devoted to healthy living. My wife and I are a couple of years into our endurance racing journey, and boy what a ride it's been so far. If you are really interested check out my tags for this post and go back in time and see what we've been up too.

I am currently a month into my new training routine for my next marathon (with a couple of half marathons thrown in). It is amazing how different this time around is compared to last time. One of my new favorite bloggers CAUTION: Redhead Running is also training for her second marathon and she talks about training "in the know." What a perfect way to describe it! Last year while training for my first ever marathon every day was a new challenge. Each weekend's long run was the longest I had ever run to that point. Every workout I put in between those runs was more working out than I had done ever. And every pain, ache and soreness was something I didn't know if I could push through until I did. Hell, I was training for something that I didn't even know for sure I could finish. It was all so new and with every step I felt a strange combination of excitement and trepidation.

This time around is so different in that I know I can finish what I am starting. I know what my body can take and actually can try to prevent those things that may slow me down. I feel faster, stronger and more in control this time around. It's no longer will I finish, it's how much faster can I finish and how much better can I feel during the process. Training "in the know" has been a wonderful experience so far and I can honestly say I am really looking forward to these upcoming races, all of which I will talk about in more detail down the road.

Thanks for stopping by and giving me a quick read. Take care and peace out!

Changes, they are a coming!

2010-01-17T15:19:00.000-08:00

WHAT NOW?

My blog posts have been like a rednecks teeth, few and far between. I think part of it is my new part time gig, that I can do at the office of my barley part time career and still not interrupt my status of a part time stay at home dad (what?). It is really eating up the time I used have for blogging, checking my fantasy football stats, playing bubble shooter, watching YouTube videos and wondering around fac book, something I am done with by the way, but that's a different blog.

Now I work, come home with the kids, train for my next race, spend time with my better half, spend time with some of my favorite media (TV, Movies and Music) and try and keep those damn resolutions I made on New Year's. Where is the time to blog? Well, here is my just a couple of weeks past new year's resolution...blog 5 days a week (who blogs on the weekends, right?). How will I do this when in the past I can go two weeks without a creative post. Simple, give each day of the week a theme and make those themes something I actually have an interest in writing about. Simple enough, right...hmmmmm? Well, it's worth a shot I guess. I'll also be changing up the look and feel of my blog just like you move around furniture to freshen up a room.

I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday weekend.

PEACE OUT!

Things I learned in 2009

2010-01-04T16:46:00.000-08:00

What Now?

In the past 12 months I have learned the following things:

1. My wife is an athlete! I always new she had athletic ability, but after she crossed the line of her first 70.3 half Ironman triathlon, I knew she had realized her athletic potential. I am so proud of her, and the best is yet to come.

2. My oldest child is one of the sweetest people I know. I think it's kind of rare to find a 7-year old that puts the needs and feelings of everyone else before her own, I and Love her so much for that.

3. My youngest, while being extremely challenging at times, will go on to do great things when she is older. The challenging, stubborn child of today will turn into an independent woman tomorrow, willing to try anything and succeed at most.

4. While the nation's economic trouble was very hard for a lot of folks, I believe it was one of the best things that could have happened to our family.

4a. My family can do more with less. Excess is not our thing, and it never will be.

5. There is way too much reality tv, social media, and methods to contact people in the world today. For all the advances we have in communication I think these things are very unnecessary (yes, I would give up blogging too if that meant ridding the world of all the other social media outlets).

6. I can accomplish just about anything if I put my mind to it and give it my best shot. Last year it was finishing a marathon. This year..........

7. Sex gets better with age.

8. There are different levels of success. I had my worst career year ever, and yet I would call 2009 one of my most successful years. It all comes down to priorities.

9. Blogging can be fun, entertaining and educational. And you can meet some great people along the way.

10. You just can't beat experiences with your kids when you think of what is truly important to you. This year was incredible for my family in regards to the places we got to visit, events we got to attend, and time we spent with each other and members of our family and friends. I am the richest man on earth thanks to the special people I share my home with. I love you all and look forward to having a great 2010 with you!

Peace out!

Bring on 2010

2010-01-01T16:05:00.000-08:00

What Now?

So, the reaction I got from my blogging friends and family members suggest that going without beer for a whole year might be a bit extreme. I am starting to think that way as well. I guess what I really want to accomplish is a better diet overall and doing everything in moderation. I am by no means a binge drinker, but I can't just have one beer, or one sweet treat...it always ends up being 2, 3...or more. And I pay for it that night. I guess for me a better goal would be to limit my vices to one per day, be that a beer, glass of wine or sweet treat. So, I guess that is my goal/resolution for my health.

For my mind I decided that I was going to read the entire Harry Potter series in 2010. My wife is a bit crazy for the books, and we own all the movies too, which I like very much. When she tells me all the stuff they leave out it makes me want to read the books, but I have never been much of a reader. Well, that is going to change in 2010.

I can already report that I have stared off this year, this new decade with something I have never done...a polar bear plunge! We are visiting my in-laws and my father-in-law convinced my wife and I to join him. I hate being cold, but what the hell right. I will turn 40 this year and I am going to leave my 30's with a bang. What an awesome experience it was. There were several hundred folks out there braving the cold with us. I think next year I go all out with the speedo! My wife will love that.

Oh, another quick think I want to mention is the overwhelming joy I am still enjoying thanks to my Alma Mater's big bowl win. While the bowl game they played in is not on many major sports fans DVR list, it will certainly go down as one of the most entertaining college bowl games ever. I still get goose bumps thinking about it!

Well, that is a lot of random stuff for my first post of the year. I can look back at 2009 and say it was the best year of my life, for a lot of reasons. Here's to making 2010 even better!

Peace out!

Resolutions, aka the list of things I never intend to get too.

2009-12-29T17:21:00.000-08:00

What Now?

As far as New Year's resolutions go I am great at making them. If you take a look at my resolution lists from the past 10 years you might say to yourself "wow, this dude has his shit together!" I would put up my list next to anybody and feel pretty darn confident that I would put that person to shame, they would forget resolutions all together and go crawl under their bed. My "R" lists rock that much.

It's too damn bad that about 99% of what I put on those lists never get done. What the hell? I talk such a mean game, but at the end of the day, well...not the end of January 1, maybe two or three weeks down the road say...I go back to my old ways, my usual pattern, my comfort zone. I don't know what the problem is. Maybe it's because my lists suffer from too much awesomeness, that I can't possibly live up too them. Or maybe I am just a lazy P.O.S. and never intend to carry through with any of the items I put down on my list. Who knows, but I feel change on the horizon. Can you feel it too?

It started a couple of years back when my wife started her crazy quest to become a triathlete and live a healthier life. I joined her and decided I wanted to finish the STP cycling classic (200 mile ride between Seattle and Portland in two days). I did it that year. Last year I wanted to finish a marathon, knowing full well the longest distance I had ever ran was a 10k, back in my mid-20's. In may I completed the CD'A marathon. Along the way I set weight goals as well, and today I vary between 189 and 195 lbs, the lowest I have maintained since college.

So, today in my basement I was trying to figure out how I can increase the healthy living I enjoy, and it really came down to a couple of eating indulgences I enjoy, often, that I know are not good for me. Beer and sweets. I love beer, and I love anything sweet. So much so that sometimes I can binge on either item without even a thought of what it will do to me later that night or months down the road. So....with that in mind, and with a little insight from my much better half, I give you my first two resolutions for 2010.

1. No beer for the year.
2. Sweets once a week, no more, no less.

I was going to go no sweets for the year as well, but my wife thought that would be too extreme. So once a week I will indulge, if I feel like it. I think if I continue my training and diet plan I already have in place and add these two items I should feel and look even better than I already do.

So, that is it. It's in my post so it must be so. And yes, I know the chances of me keeping to these resolutions is slim given my track record, but...I never thought in a million years I would run a marathon either.

Until I think of another good "R" for 2010....

Peace out!

Say what?

2009-12-21T16:59:00.000-08:00

What Now?

The past couple of days have produced some of the funnest quotes my 6-year old has ever said. Two days ago I was in the kitchen and my wife was sitting here at the computer desk. "R" strolled over to the laundry room right when the dryer was finishing a cycle. Next thing you know "R" is yelling to her sister "K, come over here and stick your head in the dryer!" My wife responds quickly with "Do not stick your head in the dryer, nobody can stick their head in the dryer." Without even blinking "R" replies "Can I stick my monkey in the dryer." "Sure, go ahead and stick your monkey in the dryer." says my wife with a chuckle.

Yesterday my wife and I were trying to figure out what to feed the girls for lunch. I was excited to sample some homemade applesauce, a new recipe from my wife...or as you know her, the born again but never was vegetarian. All she is missing are the Burkenstalks, hairy arm pits and the smell of someone who hasn't bathed in a very long time. Anyway, her applesauce is the shit, with chunks of apples and everything. My girls have a different take on it, and when I asked them if they would like to share some of Mom's applesauce with me "R" says no, of course. I ask why not and she responds with "because it has apples in it!" Hard to argue with that.

Peace out dads!

Where the hell have I been?

2009-12-20T16:32:00.000-08:00

What Now?

It seems like forever since I last posted, just over 2 weeks, but in the land of bloggers that is forever. The amazing thing is I picked up a few new followers during that dry spell. Maybe the blogging universe is telling me something...stop posting and more people will like it. The truth of the matter is I spent a week in Disneyland with the family and the second we returned home I have been busier than busy. Between my current job picking up, my new part time job, holiday madness, family birthdays, training for my next marathon and general family life this little blog has taken a back seat, way in the back...like nosebleed back.

So, what can I write about today. How about I start with a joke my now 8-year old told me the other day. She had received a book of holiday jokes from her teacher and wanted to try a couple out on me. She is a very good reader, but will occasionally read a little too fast and mix up words.

"K" - Dad, what is a snowman's favorite food?
Me - I don't know..what is it?
"K" - Cold cunts!
"Me" - (after a laugh outburst) Do you mean cold cuts?
"K" - Oh yeah, cold cuts...I don't get it?

What else, well the holiday season is in full swing here. My wife and I have finished the present buying and now just are counting down the days until the kids make like the Tazmanian Devil and tear into them. I struggled a little with what to buy my wife...year after year she wants some new kitchen tool. Come on, that's not helpful. If she wants something that helps her in the kitchen she should just buy it. I suggested maybe some new underwear. That suggestion was met with little enthusiasm.

Oh, we had a fantastic time at Disneyland (I can't believe I almost forgot to report on that). I think the thing both of my girls will remember most is getting a new little friend at the Build-A-Bear Workshop, which is not even in Disneyland for crying out loud...but whatcha gonna do? For me it was taking on the Tower Of Terror ride in California Adventure Park. I have this terrible fear of heights, so this ride was my Everest. Not only did I conquer it, but I actually enjoyed the ride as well.

Well, that's all I have for now. Sorry it took me so long, but better late than never they say. Until we meet again....

Peace out dads!

Going to the happiest place on earth

2009-12-04T09:29:00.000-08:00

What Now?

This Sunday the long wait is over. My family will board the plane that takes us to the happiest place on earth...Disneyland. For those of you who read my blog on a regular basis you know of my love for all things Disney. I love their movies, their music, their cable network and most of all their "land". This will be my 6th trip to the magic kingdom and I could not be more excited. I can almost see the eyes rolling in most of your head right now, because I know there are some of you parents who think a trip to Disneyland is equal to a trip to hell. I guess it all depends on your own experience and perspective. For me Disneyland represents so many wonderful things.

First, it takes me back to some of my favorite childhood memories. I remember packing up the car for family road trips with Disneyland as the main attraction. We would make stops along the Oregon and California coast, and then sometimes Phoenix, Las Vegas and Salt Lake on the way back home (there were monster trips with lots of miles, but also lots of fun). There is just something about that place that kids can identify with in the greatest way. It was so magical, so special, so Disney. On my 3rd trip to Mickey's home I went with my wife, her first trip. Lucky for me she fell in love with the Disney magic just like I had several years before. We only spent one day there, but I could tell we would be back. When our first daughter turned 3 we decided she was old enough to enjoy DL. Our youngest was only 1 so she got to spend some quality time with her grandparents, something they both enjoyed a great deal. Taking your child to a place you loved so much when you were younger is so amazing, and at 3 years old it was all so real to her. She went on every ride she was tall enough for, and I swear she talked about it everyday for almost a full year after we returned. Our next trip came when our youngest turned 3, oldest was 5. This was our first full family vacation, and was a treat it was. Our oldest was an old pro now, almost acting as tour guide for the rest of us. We were lucky enough to go with good friends of ours and their kids. We stayed at the park and spent just about every waking moments between DL and California Adventure Park. To this day we look back fondly on that trip and bring out the pictures about once a month to remind us of the fun that was had.

Well, in just a couple of days we return and I have to say I have been so excited I can hardly stand it. Most of my excitement comes from the fact that this will be my first time at DL during the holiday season. Next to Disneyland, Christmas is one of my all time favorite things in the world. The combination of both is almost too good to be true. Oh, there go the eye rolls again. Well, I can understand why you might not appreciate my excitement, but for me there is a special connection I share with my kids when it comes to all things Disney. They will get their parents undivided attention and for at least one week, they will get a Dad who act more like a kid than a adult....and what kid wouldn't love that?

I'll be back after vacation, armed with some great stories I'm sure.

Peace out dads!

Busy, busy, busy!!!

2009-12-03T13:47:00.000-08:00

What Now?

This time of year is busy for everyone with the holidays in full swing, but it seems like I have been dropped head first into an out of control shit storm and my plunger is broken. Don't get me wrong, I love this time of year, and this busy is a great kind of busy. Besides hanging the stockings from the staircase with care (yea, no fireplace at our house) I also have the following items to attend to: Both girls birthdays, plus my own, new part time job, my other career has started to pick up again after a long, long downturn, family vacation to Disneyland, interviews for a couple of other full time job opportunities, quick trip West as part of new part time job and starting up training for next marathon.

Hell, I actually feel like I don't have the time to come up with clever and wildly entertaining blog posts right now. So, instead you get my personal to-do list for the month. Lucky bastards! What I am hoping for is some new perspective to write about so hopefully all this extra activity will benefit my blog. In the meantime, stick with me until I get a handle on things will ya? Thank, you're the best!

Peace out dads!

Why a daughter needs a dad - #2 and #3

2009-11-30T09:25:00.000-08:00

What Now?

I forgot last Monday's edition of "why a daughter needs a dad" (excerpts from the book of the same title written by Gregory E. Lang - great book, go buy it!) so I have two for today.

A daughter needs a dad who will make sacrifices so she will not have to sacrifice.

A daughter needs a dad who will laugh at her at all the right times

Peace out dads!

Giving Thanks

2009-11-23T12:43:00.000-08:00

What Now?

It's Thanksgiving week and that means it's time for my family to kick it into high gear. There is not slowing down from this point until a day or two after New Year's. Besides the normal hustle and bustle of the holiday season, we also mix in both my daughter's birthdays, my birthday, several cousins, aunts and uncles birthdays and a early December trip to Disneyland. Needless to say I'll be lucky to keep my head above water for the next several weeks. Before I shut down my blog for the week I wanted to give thanks to those who mean the most to me:

Thank you Gigi and Poppy. I can honestly say I hit the in-law jackpot when I married your daughter and being a part of your family has meant the world to me.

Thank you sisters and brothers. Some of you I am stuck with by blood, some by marriage, and all I know is I could not have hand picked better people to be stuck with.

Thank you Mom and Dad. For almost 39 years you have been great parents and great friends. I am so thankful that my girls get to have you in their lives as much as they do.

Thank you kids. It's impossible to imagine what my life would be like without you. You became my world the second you entered it, and I would do anything for you.

Thank you Mrs. Whatnowdad. It's you, it's always been you and it will always be you. Almost 2o years ago you brought this boy into your life and helped make him the man he is today. I don't know how many people get to marry their best friend, but I am thankful I am one of them. I love you more than you will ever know.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

Oh Lord, how she tests me!

2009-11-19T10:25:00.000-08:00

Hey, after you read my super awesome blog post make sure to head over to Dad Blogs for Fatherhood Friday. You might find some bloggers you like as much as me. Peace out!

What Now?

My wife is out of town for work so I am Mr. Mom with my two girls until tomorrow morning. As I have mentioned (in probably every third post) my youngest, sweet 5 year old "R", can be a bit stubborn. This morning her list of complaints and refusals almost sent me over the edge. Here is a quick recap of that list:

6:30am - "K" (her older sister) always gets the warm blanket in the morning.

6:33am - "K" always get to pick her show first to watch.

6:38am - No, I don't want to watch that show (the one she just about always picks).

6:45am - No, I don't want any of that for breakfast (when given five different choices, all of which she likes.

6:55am - I don't want to finish my applesauce, it tastes old (after giving in to that breakfast choice and opening a brand new jar).

6:58am - You gave me too much milk, I can't drink it all.

7:20am - I don't want to wear that shirt.

7:21am - I don't want to wear that shirt either.

7:22am - I don't want to find a shirt...I want you too.

7:32am - You put too much toothpaste on my brush.

7:33am - I don't want to brush my teeth with the sonic care.

7:34am - No, I don't want you to brush my teeth either.

7:45am - I want to wear these shoes to school (after picking out sandals to wear, it's 35 degrees out and raining mind you)

7:55am - I don't like that hat, I don't want to wear it (while trying to get them out the door and to school on time).

8:03am - "K", stop singing, I don't like it (while driving "R" and "K" to school).

8:10am - I don't want to go to the gym and play basketball after school (while I kiss her goodbye, not even remembering we had talked about going to the gym after school last night).

OK, to be fair she is a a little under the weather, and her mom is not home so I will give her a few points for that. But you can imagine my state of mind after I pulled out of the school's parking lot. You know how it's not recommended to go grocery shopping when you are hungry? Well, our local supermarket was having it's 13 hour wine and cheese sale today, and I can safely say it's not recommended to go shopping at a wine sale just after your 5 year old has frustrated you to the point of almost no return. I don't know what I dropped there today, but it's not a good sign when the store employees line up at the door and thank you for shopping there (I think some were even chest bumping and doing the Arsenio arm pump).

Peace out dads!

Tag, I'm it

2009-11-18T10:26:00.000-08:00

What Now?

I have officially been tagged in the new to me game of blogger photo tag. My tagger was FeliciaE from the blog "Living Just Like Grandma". I have only checked out a little of her blog so far, but I plan to become a follower and read more, I suggest you do too.

Here is how this game works, and I take this text straight from FeliciaE's blog post:

The person who is tagged goes to the first photo file on their computer and to the tenth photo in that file. The tagged person post the photo on their blog and tells the story behind it. Then the person tags a few people from the blogs that they read.

So the picture I get to post is from our first family trip to Hawaii back in March of 2008. What a great trip that was. We went to Kona on the big island, and that was a first for me. What made that trip so special was we met my wife's parents, her two sisters and their families to celebrate my father-in-law's 60th birthday, the anniversary of my in-laws and the marriage of my sister-in-law (my wife's youngest sister). It was two weeks of eating great food, drinking great beer and wine, exploring all the big island had to offer and most of all relaxing in one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. We were lucky enough to go back this past spring as well. I could really get used to spending two weeks in Hawaii and getting out of our dreadful spring weather!

OK, who to tag next. I think I'll pick on a good friend and great parent blogger Weasel Momma and her blog World Of Weasels. She is hilarious and she knows it. Go check her out now, now I say!

Peace out dads!

Let mamma see those pearly whites

2009-11-17T12:35:00.001-08:00

Now What?

Many of you know that in the Spring I made the bold decision to get braces at the tender age of 38. This is my second go around with this oral torture device because as a pre-teen I did not heed the words of my orthodontist when he said "keep using your retainer" and threw it in the trash instead (which I have come to learn was a mistake made by many of my peers). Needless to say my teeth started moving again and unless I took action soon I stood a great chance of loosing one of my bottom front teeth to the back of my mouth due to over crowding. So, I sucked it up and got the full tooth bling treatment.

One of the side effects I was lucky to get was some serious staining around each bracket. I'm not talking about a little extra yellowish color, I am talking dirt brown. My dentist said it looked like I had been smoking for the past ten years, which is better than saying it looked like I just ate a shit sandwich before coming in for my cleaning, but the meaning was still there. I was told it was just a hard spot for the toothbrush to reach and some people just react that way. Thankfully it was just superficial and could be cleaned off.....but at what price?

What they ended up using was the equivalent to a power washer shooing out a mixture of salt and water to blast off the shit, I mean plaque. After two hours my lips and gums felts like they had been worked over like a Mike Tyson punching bag. Oh, did I mention I needed to get a cavity filled in too...so half of my face was numb as well. I love my dentist!

I will say the results almost make up for the payment. My teeth have never been whiter. My wife stops me dead in my tracks about 10 times a day to check on them. I feel like one of the kids now "let me smell your breath to make sure you brushed your teeth well" I can almost hear her say. I will turn 39 in a couple of weeks and I am hoping to have the braces off by my next birthday, the big FOUR O. Only time and about 10 more dentist cleaning visits between now and then.

Peace out Dads!

Why A Daughter Needs A Dad Monday #1

2009-11-16T08:57:00.000-08:00

What Now?

My wife gave me a book a few weeks back titled "Why A Daughter Needs A Dad, 100 Reasons" written by Gregory E. Lang and photographs by Janet Lankford-Moran. It is a fantastic book with 100 short reasons why Dads are so important to their daughters. I thought it would be a great way to start each week on my blog with one of these reasons. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

Why A Daughter Needs A Dad #1:

To learn that when he says it will be okay soon, it will.

Peace out dads.

Where's the beef? Part 2

2009-11-13T09:27:00.001-08:00

What Now?

OK, so maybe my wife was dropping subtle hints about less meaty eating plan at our house before the infamous "tofu taco" night. I remember her remarks about how cute the pigs were after going to the county fair, and what a shame it was that we ate them. Heck, we've been on turkey bacon for over a year now and I've kinda gotten to like it, that was until I had a sample taste of real bacon on a recent Costco trip...hmmmmm, real bacon. They needed the janitor to come and mop up my drool puddle. My wife is also a bit of a Internet news junkie, and focuses on stories related to how meat is processed and all the additives and preservatives they use in it. She already feels that our kids are exposed to way too many unnatural things and that feeding them standard (and by standard I mean not "organic) meat will just mess them up more then I already do. So the grassroots campaigning for a less meaty house diet was in the works for months, the action plan came with tofu tacos. The insurgence came a few days later at breakfast. We had my wife's sister and her two sons overnight and the next morning I came downstairs to the smell of a big home cooked breakfast. All the kids had already cleaned off their plates and my wife and sister-in-law were digging into theirs. I grab a plate and start to load up. Pancakes, eggs and sausage. Yummy, yum...hey, what a sec. What's up with the sausage? It looks a little like the sausage that comes in the fake food set we got the girls for Christmas to go with their Dora kitchen set. Oh well, I am still trying to wake up and I'm starving so what the heck, I load it up. A few bites in I must have a look on my face that triggers my wife to ask "how do you like your breakfast honey?" I turn to answer her, with a mouth half full of food "um....is there something different about the sausage this morning?" "Well, yes...it's not real sausage...can you tell the difference?" I swallow it down, take a big gulp of water and reply "yes, because I do know what real sausage tastes like, so yes...I can tell a difference." Now any married man who likes to avoid conflict will tell you the worst possible time and place to question your wife's cooking choices are anywhere that one of her family members is present, especially her sister. I calmly took my plate over to the table and dreamt about real meat while eating my breakfast.

Now please don't take my comments to be a negative attitude towards my wife or her family diet choices. I understand her need to feed our family healthy alternatives and try to keep as our bodies as chemical free as possible. I also know that I will get used to the new diet plan and probably be better for it. I'll just need to come up with creative reasons to make more trips to Costco so I can visit Marge, the real bacon sample lady, to remind myself of what meat really tastes like. Oh Marge, I love ya baby!

Peace out Dads, and have a great weekend!

Where's the beef? Part 1

2009-11-11T10:27:00.000-08:00

What Now?

There is a conspiracy going on in my house. I don't know exactly when it started, and I'm not sure how long it is going to last, but it is something that will affect me in a deep and possibly disturbing way. My wife, the family chef and buyer of food products, is slowly but surely working meat out of our family diet. MEAT MAN...MEAT I SAY! A few days ago it was taco night at our household...a weekly tradition loved by myself and our kids. My wife worked in the kitchen preparing the meal while my girls and I set the table. We all sat down as my wife brought out all the fixings....taco shells, black beans, lettuce, diced tomatoes, avocados, cheese, sour cream and the taco meat..."um, what is wrong with the taco meat?" I asked. "Nothing, why?" she replied. "Well, it seems to be a different color than I remember." I say, trying real hard to to have any critical tone in my voice whatsoever...remember, she is the sole provider of eatable meals in our house so I don't want to rock that boat. "It's a little different, that's all" came her response. OK, no biggie I guess...and I join the rest of the crew and load up a couple of nice, nice tacos. After a couple of bites I glance at my wife and she is looking around at us with a very sheepish look, almost like she knew something and was trying to see if anybody else would figure it out. Our eyes meet and she asks "so, how do you like your tacos?" Now I am growing suspicious....I mean, she knows I love tacos so why ask. And that look...something is up. "So what makes this taco meat different from before?" I ask in a very probing way. "Just a different brand I guess." she says. Hmmm, what is my next move. Ah ha..."oh, looks like I need a little more water.....I'll be right back." As I head to the kitchen to refill my glass, I can feel her stare on the back of my neck like a hot poker. I stroll by her dinner prep area and see it, stop in my tracks, pick it up and turn around to look back at my wife. In my hand is a box for "tofu taco filling", on my face is a look that can only be described as a giant WTF. I am about to blow the lid off my wife's little trickery when she says, a little louder than normal "so girls, how do YOU like your tacos?" "Great!", "Love them!" Then I get the look from her that can best be described as "DON'T OPEN YOUR DUMB PIE HOLE!" I drop the box back on the counter top, get my water, return to my seat and continue to eat my tacos. To be honest, they are pretty damn good. I don't know what her game is...but after we put the kids to bed I am sure as hell going to find out....

Peace Out Dads!

Lame Blogger

2009-11-09T10:07:00.001-08:00

What Now?

I think with everything in life sometimes you just don't got it. I really started to find my groove with this blogging thing and then BOOM, nothing last week. I don't know if it was a lack of material, a lack of interest, or just staying busy with other things. Last week I had actual work related stuff I needed to take care of, which was nice for a change. Plus, the local university posted a job that I am really interested in getting so I spent a lot of time working and reworking my resume and cover letter (with the help of my loving wife and many, many others!). We also had a crazy weekend with two, yes two, kids sleepovers. Friday night my wife's sister was in town with her boys and the next night we had some of our girls friends over while their mom went out on the town. Plus there is all the normal day-to-day stuff that will swallow you whole if you let it. My wife and I have determined that a lot of our time is taken up with laundry, cooking and dishes. Just when we get clothes put away we have a basket full again. Between breakfast and dinner we eat off of and clean more dishes than I thought we even owned (thank goodness the school feeds the kids lunch on weekdays, bless you popcorn chicken and yummy cheese sandwiches!).

I know, all very lame excuses but it's the best I got. I think there was also a lack of inspiration and interest on my part. Sometimes I just don't want to write about things. I know this makes my number one fan, my wife, sad. She loves reading my posts just to remember something funny that happened in our family or to get my take on a certain situation. My wife just emailed me with thought on topics I could touch on. She suggested talking about living with a wife trying to go vegetarian...not bad, but I should save that for another time...too good to put in this post!

I think I'm just in a blogger slump. I think all bloggers must go through this, just like areas of life. But I'll pull out, and already I can picture my next post "WIFE TRIES TO FORCE FEED GREEN VEGGIES TO FAMILY AND CUT OUT MEAT....OH THE HUMANITY.

Peace Out Dads!

No tricks, no treats, no way, no how!

2009-11-02T09:55:00.000-08:00

What Now?

Kids are funny. Just when you think you have them figured out they hit you with something straight out of left field and send you back to the parenting drawing board. Case in point, my 5 year old and Halloween. For most kids, normal kids, Halloween night is second only to Christmas morning on the kids holiday scale of awesomeness. You get to dress up as whatever you want, you get to stay up way past your normal bedtime and you get more candy than you can possibly eat in one sitting. Does it really get any better than that?

Well, for my youngest child it can. Leading up to the big night she acts like any other normal year old child. She decides to be Strawberry Shortcake, and can it get more adorable than that? Funny side story here, when my wife googled Strawberry Shortcake costumes for our little girl she found this. Not exactly what she had in mind for our child, but I thought it might work for her...she was not amused. Anyway, back to my story. After deciding on a costume our youngest helped decorate, carve pumpkins and participate in just about all other pre-Halloween activities.

The one thing we knew going in was that she is scared of most of the spookier Halloween decorations. Hell, she won't step one foot in the door at Micheal's because of the stuff they have on display there. Even knowing that, we didn't expect the full on boycott of all things trick or treat when the big night came. Our usual plan is to pack the kids in the car and drive to certain houses/neighborhoods so we hit all the really good houses and see friends in the process. The first couple homes we hit were of the scary variety. Our oldest loves going to these homes because they also give out the best candy. It's these trips that I stay in the car with the youngest while my wife takes our oldest door to door. After the first couple we see some friends and some standard, jack-o-lantern only types houses. Nope, not getting out even for those. "What, come on "R", these houses aren't scary." Nope, not getting out of the car, not going to the door and not interested in the candy. Really? This kid is not candy motivated? Shit, what else do we have then? I mean, if we can't even get her out of the car to walk a few feet and say three little words for candy what chance do we have to get her to do anything? Candy is the one motivation most parents keep as plan Z when nothing else works. I could offer my oldest candy as a reward and get the house cleaned, the dog walked and lawn mowed all before 10am if I needed too.

So, there I sat in the car trying to talk our youngest to at least give it a try...nope, not a chance. We got home and my oldest started organizing her candy and getting set up for some late night movie watching. My youngest took off her costume, put on her pj's, and wanted my wife to take her to bed. When my wife came back down I just looked at her with amazement over the nights activities. She smiles and said in a calming voice "at least we won't have to worry about peer pressure with her." Good point!

Peace Out Dads!

Spam you very much

2009-10-28T10:59:00.001-07:00

Happy Friday Everyone. While you are wasting time on the internet make sure to head over to Dad Blogs for Fatherhood Friday. Great bloggers are found there...do it right after you read mine!

What Now?

As a little Internet experiment I am going to post the subject line of the next few spam emails I get, with my own commentary of course. While I absolutely hate getting spam, I sometimes find the subject lines to be very entertaining, I hope you do too.

ADD POWER TO YOUR HUSBAND\'S HAMMER - I don't have a husband, and if I did I don't know how powerful I would want his hammer to be...sounds dangerous!

Magic stick - Is this some Harry Potter promotion or something? My wife is the HP fan, maybe I should see if she needs the Magic stick?

Do You Honestly Think You'll Be Able To Ever Retire? - Boy, I hope so. Maybe I should quit my Starbucks addiction, that should help.

Pick your free 800% BONUS - Now we're talking! This should help me retire...suck on that emailer from before!

your score has been updated - What score...what did I miss? It's really hard to win if you don't know someone is keeping score or what it's been updated too? I hope this doesn't mess up my 800% bonus!

Bring your manhood to an unbelievable level - Don't all guys want girls to believe the unbelievable when it comes to their manhood? Me, I like working with the believable so nobody gets let down.

Discover the reliable source of cheap and quality drugs - First off, nice English! I am surprised the manager of this supplier for good, inexpensive drugs let this email fly out the door before proofreading it. I bet it hurts their business to have such poor work come from their employees.

If you have a huge stick, women will never tell you to get out of bed - Unless this huge stick can start the coffee, make breakfast, get the kids ready for school and take the dog for a walk my wife will not be allowed to stay in bed.

Find cheap alternative to expensive American medications - I think I've just uncovered the solution to our health care problem!

Fox News are liers - When did the White House start spamming, and do they know about the cheap alternatives to expensive American medications?

Get a deal on your own dance floor - Thank God, I can't tell you how expensive your own dance floor can be, and these Jazz hands aren't working on the linoleum so well.

10.31% off Halloweeeeeeeeeen Sale on Car Swag - This is such a better deal then the lousy 10% you usually get on Halloweeeeeeeeen Car Swag!

Enjoy your day everyone!

PEACE OUT DADS!

Fakin' it

2009-10-27T10:39:00.000-07:00

What Now?

We have all done it. My friends did it. My brother and sister did it. My wife did it. Hell, I did it all the time. Every kid that has gone to school has done it at least once in their life. Faking sick to stay home from school. The weather sucks, you have a test you haven't studied for, your friends pissed you off the other day...whatever the reason is you just don't want to go to school and the only way your parents are going to let you skip classes is if you are sick, really sick. When you grow up and become a contributing member of society you still do it, but you call it a mental health day. You make your voice sound raspy and out of breath, call your office and tell them you just don't feel well and think it's best that you stay home. Kids don't get off so easy. Their performance is in front of a live audience. An audience that that discredits their act even before it starts, and looks for any and all flaws that might prove the performer is just "acting" the part.

On Saturday our youngest was complaining of a sore throat, upset stomach and headache and she was burning up, 102 temperature. My wife, ever the illness inspector, took her in to see the doctor right away because, in case you are unaware...there is apparently some pig virus causing a bit of a panic right now. It turned out not to be the pig thing, and instead was just strep throat. We spend the weekend in chill mode and waiting on her hand and foot, because that is what you do with a sick child to keep peace in the house.

It was determined on Sunday evening that our patient would have to miss school on Monday. It only took about 15 minuets after that decision was made for our oldest to sharpen up her thespian skills and put on her show. "Dad, Mom....my stomach hurts." You could almost hear the violins playing in the background. As a veteran of such theatrics I knew what was going on here, but my wife insisted we take her seriously just in case she was indeed "sick".

Our oldest must have gotten such a good night of sleep she forgot act 1 of her show and proceeded to go about her normal morning routine, full of energy and ready for the day. After a little while the light bulb must have gone off. "Mom, Dad....my stomach still hurts and I don't feel well". Really???? I immediately start with 20 questions, trying to break my daughter and make her admit this was a fake out. Again, my wife interceded and checked my daughter out. No temperature. I knew it!! FAKER, FAKER....NOW I HAVE TO TAKE HER..too school. My wife convinced our oldest to go to school but did give her a get out of school card free with promise we would come get her if she started feeling worse.

It was a miserable day. Rain, wind, dark sky. Heck, I wanted to leave my office, go home and crawl into bed. It was about 1pm when I got the call from the school nurse. "Your daughter is here in the office complaining of a stomach ache" (how do kids know to go with the stomach ache....no way to tell if it really hurts or not, brilliant!). Again, no fever but she says she feels bad. She must have looked out the window too. And, it didn't help that one of her good friends from school left with his parents about an hour before because his stomach hurt. What to do, what to do. If I go get her I give her the knowledge that faking a stomach that hurts gets you out of school. If I don't get her I am the Dad that keeps their kid in school with a potential life threatening stomach pain. Hmmmmmmmmm, tough choice.

After I picked her up and got her home she again suffered a quick memory lapse by running upstairs and in a very healthy sounding voice told her sister she got to stay home too. Big faker! You win this round little one, but I am on to you.

PEACE OUT DADS!

That really grinds my gears!!!

2009-10-22T12:56:00.000-07:00

What Now?

Like all good parents who don't want their children get violently ill from the seasonal flu we scheduled shots way back in early September. The earliest we could get in to get their shots was late October. That seems a little late considering it only takes 10 seconds per kid, but whatever, we can be patient and hope Mr. Flu does not visit our house for almost 2 months. Yesterday I get a call from our pediatrician informing me they had to cancel the flu shot appointment for my kids. Hmmm, OK...."why?" I ask. "It's because we have ran out of our seasonal flu shots." says the nice lady on the other end of the phone. "When can we reschedule?" I ask. "We are not sure since we don't know if we'll be getting anymore of the seasonal flu shot." says the lady on the phone. "Ummm, OK...."what are you suggesting parents do in this situation?" I ask. "Um, well...you could try going to a local pharmacy." said the bitch on the phone who clearly does not care if my children get sick or not. I normally hate using just acronyms in my blog posts but WTF!!!! How in bloody hell do you run out of the seasonal flu shot in mid-October? Did you not think the same number of parents would want their kids to get it, or do you think that exposing kids to the seasonal flu is a better option then giving them the fucking shot? My wife looked up reasons for running out of the flu shot and found out the same people that make the seasonal flu shot are also making the H1N1 vaccine....and we don't have that around here either.

After a week of hearing about banks making record profits but still not lending to clients and investment firms paying out their huge bonuses again I was already loosing my faith in the American Dream...then I get news that my kids can't get flu shots because they ran out!!! That shit really grinds my gears. I am normally pretty level headed and don't rant that much, but come on people!

Am I alone on this, do you feel the same way, is there something that really grinds your gears? Let me know about it and I'll post the best gear grinders in my next post!

PEACE OUT AND LET ME HEAR IT DADS!

Make my day!

2009-10-20T09:19:00.000-07:00

What Now?

For most families there is a certain routine to each and every day of our lives. Of course you get the odd event that changes the daily routine slightly, but for the most part each and every day is the same. I could draw a road map of my day, give it to a complete stranger, and rest assured they could follow it just like I do without fail. It's the routine that sometimes drives us crazy, making us long for the days when you never knew which direction your life would take from the second you opened your eyes to wake up each morning. It's also the routine that reminds you what is really important in life. With that I would like to present the top ten things I look forward too each and every day, routine or not.

1. I am the first one in the family up most days to make the coffee, start the computer and let the dog out. I'm half asleep and most times wishing I was still in bed, but I love the 15 minuets of quiet!

2. My girls are usually awake about a half hour after me. They zombie walk downstairs, curl up on the couch and turn on a little morning TV. After they have woken up a little bit I take their breakfast orders. I am not the cook in the family but I am the breakfast maker. I make a bit of a production out of it by taking their orders, setting a nice table, calling them to eat. It's not gourmet, but it's good enough for me.

3. My wife is the last one up, but she deserves it. She comes down, makes her coffee and we exchange a kiss and a booty pat/grab. It could be my favorite part of the morning.

4. My wife and I take turns dropping off our girls at their school, and I love when it's my turn. To see how excited they get meeting their friends for the day is so heart warming. Oh, if I could be a fly on the wall for the whole school day!

5. It doesn't happen every day, but there are some mornings my Mom will call me to join here for coffee. We meet at Starbucks and catch up a little. I feel pretty lucky to have that connection with my Mom, and I love the coffee!!

6. I get to pick up our girls from school each day and my youngest rides a bus from her kindergarten class to the main school. I make sure to be there waiting before the bus pulls up so I can wave to her (and all of her classmates) as the bus drives up. When she gets off the bus she runs to me yelling "Hi daddy!" in the cutest voice ever. Those are the moments that just melt my heart!

7. When we get home from school and before my wife comes home from work I have my opportunity to work out. It is my time for me and I love to work up a good sweat. That one hour each day makes the other 23 so much better in so many ways.

8. When my wife gets home from work I get my kiss and booty pat/grab for the second time of the day, but since it's been about 8 hours since I last saw her I milk it just a little bit longer. If not for the kids wanting 100% of her attention I would carry her upstairs and do very adult things with her....but, that is not the life of a parent so I gladly step aside and give in to MOM time.

9. After dinner, game/movie time and book reading it's time to put the kids to bed. My oldest, in an attempt to stay up longer, will give me about a weeks worth of information all at once. While I know this is a going to be prevention exercise, I just love listening to her. It's really my best opportunity to hear what is going on in her world straight from her.

10. After the kids are asleep and the house is quiet again it's just me and my wife. Even if numbers 1-9 on my list don't fulfill my day like normal I know that this one will. I almost hate going to bed knowing I have to wait so long for that time again, but when it comes it's so worth the wait.

PEACE OUT DADS!

Let the music play

2009-10-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

What Now?

I am sitting here in my office listening to http://www.pandora.com/ trying to decide what to write about. I love pandora! My wife introduced this music web site to me a few months back. She knows how much I love music, all music. I can listen to just about anything, it just depends on the mood I'm in. This time of year usually makes me drift toward the crooners. Singers like Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Tony Bennett...the good old boys. My favorite is Dean Martin. GOD I LOVE DEAN. I recently heard my favorite Deano song "Sway" on a car commercial. Even a techno, funked up version gets my blood going. I mean really, dim the lights, start up a few candles, pour some big glasses of red wine, start a fire and turn on Dean Martin and enjoy the company of my beautiful wife....my perfect night!

There are other times when nothing hits the spot like some hard rock. Give me AC/DC, Van Halen, Motley Crue, Def Leppard and Kiss when I just gotta rock. It could be mowing the lawn, going for a run, cleaning out the garage...sometimes I gotta turn it up and let it go! When I wanna rock, I believe these too be true:

1. If it's too loud, you're too old!
2. It's better to burn out than fade away!
3. She's Knockin' me out with those American thighs
4. I get up, and nothing gets me down. You got it tough. I've seen the toughest around.
5. SHOUT, SHOUT...SHOUT AT THE DEVIL!

My senior year of high school and first couple years of college were dominated by the rap music. From Young MC's "Bust a Move" to Public Enemy's "Fight The Power" and everything in between I loved it all. My last couple years of college and first few in the real world were all about the Seattle Grunge scene. I lived in the Pacific Northwest so this was my music. One of the best concerts I have ever seen was Pearl Jam in Seattle for their Vs. tour. It was the last show of that tour and it was AMAZING! Eddie Vedder beat a hole into the stage with his mic stand and crawled down it after their last song. For their first encore the whole band crawled back through the hole to get on stage and they played "Jeremy"....at the time I thought it was the greatest thing I had ever seen.

As the years passed I took my turns with pop country during the Garth and Shania days. I rocked hard to the rap/metal bands like Limp Bizkit and Kid Rock. These days I try to keep up with singers like Jason Mraz and Jack Johnson when I just want to mellow out. And I have even found kids music that both my girls and I can enjoy like Lauri Berkner and Justin Roberts.

To me all music is good music and without it our lives would be rather dull and quiet. Oh, Pandora just played the Elvis version of "Fever".....nice! I think of "sexy time" whenever I hear this song. I need to send my wife a quick email now, then I gotta figure out what I'm going to write on this blog...until then I'll just "Let the music play, she won't get away, This groove she can't ignore, she won't leave me anymore - No, no, no!"

PEACE OUT DADS AND HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

I am the biggest loser

2009-10-14T12:45:00.000-07:00

What Now?

"I am the biggest loser!" That is what I either say out loud or think to myself every time I join my wife to watch that show. Why, oh why, do I watch it? It is her favorite, the one show she will make time to watch during it's regularly scheduled broadcast without wishing she could zip past the commercials with the help of the DVR. She has been a fan of the show since it's first season with that pudgy, blond female comedian as it's host (wonder what she is up too now?) She got me hooked in about 3 seasons ago, what the fuck?!?!?! How did I, a consumer of fine television, get sucked into watching this crazy world of 18 hour a day workouts, blatant product placement, two gender obscure trainers (she is way more masculine than he is!) and some chick who's day job is playing a train wreck on one of the still remaining noon time soap operas (and how in the hell did I know that was her day job????).

Not only do I watch, but I also get into discussions about the show with my wife. She is really into it, and so am I. For some reason I care if a constant only loses 4 pounds after spending their last chance workout playing tug-of-war with the manly Jillian while she screams "why the f$@k are you so fat you fat fatty fatterstein!!" I censored the bad word in this sentence because you can't say "fuck" on TV. Last night we cheered, yes, stood up, clapped our hands together and verbally cheered when the biggest girl on the show dropped a 16 spot to give her team the big win. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ME? I haven't cheered that loud while watching TV since Micheal Jordan sank the game winning shot against the Jazz to win his 6th NBA championship. But here I was, standing in my nighttime uniform (that being t-shirt and flannel pants, you know...what you where after you get out of your work clothes but before you get on your sleeping uniform. My wife wears a hoody sweatshirt and chino pants. It's our thing.)

One of the contestants didn't even know there was a cash prize for winning....he was just happy to be there to loose weight. WOW, that guy is clueless. My wife has a plan to gain a shitload of weight, get on the show, loose it all and then pocket the $100k. Yes, we had that conversation, and yes...I think she may be a little serious about it.

I can't really explain my fascination with this show. If I could then I would be able to tackle other time sucks like Facebook, bubble shooter, TMZ, The Twilight movies, Jon and Kate Plus 8, The National Enquirer (do you qualify to be a reader of this publication if the only time you look at it is in line at the grocery store, hmmmmm?), boy band music, the local paper obituaries and city council meetings. I don't know and I probably never will....thus, I am the biggest loser!

PEACE OUT DADS!

Separation Anxiety

2009-10-12T13:30:00.000-07:00

What Now?

Since we moved into our current house about 5 years ago our two girls have shared a room. The upstairs has the master suite (or the adult playroom as I like to call it), another large room and a smallish room plus another bathroom. The bathroom is plenty big for both girls and even has two sinks, not that they ever use it. I basically share a bathroom with three women. Sometimes I think I should take over the girls bathroom, but that is for another post.

We decided it made the most sense to put both girls in the big room and use the small room for toys, games, puzzles and all the other things we are accumulating as parents. Our girls are only two years apart (7 and 5 for those keeping score at home) and get along like best friends 90% of the time (the other 10% they are mortal enemies sworn to destroy each other). This set-up has worked out great for us but my wife and I knew a day would come when our oldest would want her own room....and my friend, it seems that day is now!

Our oldest has been dropping hints for a couple of weeks now. "Dad, when I get my own room can I paint it a different color?" "Mom, how old were you when you got your own room?" To be honest I didn't think she would want to move until she was a little older and that these questions were just that, questions.

Well, she flat out said this weekend she would like to move into the toy room and make it her bedroom. We even inflated the guest bed (yeah, we use a blow-up bed for guests...guess who doesn't like guests???) and put it in the toy room so she could try it out. It didn't take long for redecorating and wall color planning.

My wife and I say it every day "The girls are growing up so fast, can you believe how big they are getting, did you hear what she said...damn, it's like she is a teenager already!" This move for more independence is just further proof that we can't stop our little girl from growing up, we can only hope to contain her (EPSN reference for those of you keeping score at home). My biggest fear is how our youngest is going to take this move. She clings to her older sister like gum on the bottom of a table. While big sister is ready to spread her wings and fly a little higher, little sister likes keeping her feet on the ground in the same room together.

One of the positives we see is the ability to put the girls down for bed a different times. Our oldest struggles a little having to go to bed as the same time as your younger sister, but unless we want meltdown mayhem each and every night we have to keep it that way. Also, I see this as a real opportunity for our youngest to find a little independence for herself. She will always be the baby in my eyes, but having her own space may be just what she needs so she doesn't always feel like the baby.

Since it looks like there is no way to prolong this move any further we are going to start to make the change this weekend. Moving beds, clothes, books and a couple of very heavy pieces of furniture will begin on Saturday morning and should be all completed by Sunday evening. That will be the true test for both girls. As for me, I think I need to buy a magazine rack for the girls bathroom....I'm feeling the need for my own form of independence.

PEACE OUT DADS!

Loving the Fall

2009-10-08T11:41:00.000-07:00

What Now?

I am a HUGE fan of the Fall season. I always have been and always will be. My wife kind of dreads the Fall because of the colder weather. My kids want to blow right past Fall and get to winter. For me, give me Fall anytime. Why do I love it so much, well....let me count the ways:

1. The scenery. Where I live it gets just beautiful this time of year.

2. The start of school. Not only for my kids, but the local university and it's surge of students bring a energy to our town that I love.

3. The soups. Colder weather means more soups at meal time. My wife makes great soup and it's a lot easier to enjoy when there is a nip in the air.

4. The wardrobe. My cold weather wardrobe is so much better than my warm weather one. Sweaters, jeans, cords, jackets....I'm much closer to a J. Crew model in the Fall than I am in any other month.

5. The county fair. Have I mentioned how much I love the fair?

6. Football. Enough said!

7. Halloween. My second favorite holiday during my most favorite time of year. Dressing up, candy, parties....and the kids seem to like it as well.

8. The coffee. I really don't like my coffee on ice, but I sweat like balls if I drink hot coffee in the summer. When the weather cools down I like my coffee HOT, like my wife!

9. The beer. My favorite beer of all time, Kona Brewery's Pipeline Porter is released in the Fall after disappearing from the shelves in the Spring and Summer. I've already gone through two 6 packs...man that was a fun night!

10. The pumpkins. The past couple of years we have grown our very own organic pumpkin patch. It is great fun for the whole family and we take great pride in it. This year we started seeds inside at the tail end of winter, got them in the ground in the spring, and just cut them off last week. I am very proud to report we had our best crop yet, including 3 weighing in at 84, 90 and 104 pounds respectively. Now that is a big pumpkin

For these ten reasons, and many, many more I pronounce my love for the Fall! Now, time for a coffee run!

PEACE OUT DADS!

WND Updates

2009-10-06T13:49:00.001-07:00

What Now?

I think Tuesday is a great day to lay down some updates from from previous blog posts, so here goes.

1. Trip to the county fair - I received a lot (and by a lot I mean about two) of comments from parents telling me how much they dislike the good old county fair. One even went as far to say that they hate Disneyland too, like you can just lump the happiest place on earth with the freak show county fair. I know there are some families that are not into the mouse house...but our family is not one of them. In fact we have a trip planned there this December to celebrate our girls birthdays. The one downer is the price of food, I must say. You could eat all night long at your local county fair for the price of one meal at Disneyland...and almost get as sick.

2. Screaming soccer child - We have had three games since the devil possessed that little girl on our team, and I am happy to report she has been exorcised and is back to her normal sweet self, kind of. My wife, the assistant coach of the team, did have to get a little stern with her during one game. After it was over my wife had that "I'm going to kick that little girl into the goal" look....but cooler head prevailed. Another game tonight....hope full there will be no bloodshed.

3. Doctor visit - After poop smearing a piece of cardboard, getting my junk groped and welcoming Mr. Gooey Finger into my most private of privates....I have high cholesterol again! I was on medication for it about two years back, and it really helped. After loosing about 25 pounds with diet and exercise I thought I could go off the medication and all would be good. Wrong! I am here to tell you that genetics trumps good living. So now that I am back on medication I'm thinking of kicking back on the couch for about a month eating nothing but donut holes and cheese wiz. Suck on that genetics!

4. Home alone - My wife got back from her trip late on Friday night. The house was stills standing, the kids were still breathing, and I was still sane. I don't know how much longer it could have gone that way without her there. I'm glad you are back B, I love ya so much!

OK, that catches everybody up on my little life for the past couple of weeks. Have a great Tuesday and catch y'all next time.

PEACE OUT DADS!

How to be a good father

2009-10-04T20:18:00.001-07:00

What Now?

As a general rule I try not to give too much thought into what I hear from the sit-coms I watch when it comes to my life. There are the exceptions like how I felt when my wife and I had our first child, I remembered this exchange from "Cheers":

Norm Peterson: Coach, you've had kids. Does a baby change you?
Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Are you kidding Normie, it can't even change itself.

Or the time my wife and I were about to have sex for the first time I thought of this little diddy from "Seinfeld":

George Costanza: Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open?
Jerry: Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind.

Well last night while watching my new favorite show, "Modern Family", I heard another one, and this one really hits home. It was said by Jay Pritchett, played by Ed O'Neill of "Married With Children" fame. He asked this question at the beginning of the show - "what does it take to be a good father?" God, don't we all want to know that!!! After 30 minuets of pure funny he answers his own question with this - "90% of being a good father is just being there."

So simple and so damn true. I consider my Dad to be a wonderful father, but if you ask me what exactly I learned from him, or what great things he told me, or what my favorite all time memory of my childhood with him was it would probably take me a while to think of something, and more than likely it would be only be half right. The one thing I know for certain is that he was always there. When things were good, bad or ugly, he was there. And back when I was growing up not all fathers were like that. Most moms stayed home to raise the kids while the dads worked long hours only to see their kids about an hour out of each day. Being an accountant meant long hours during tax season for my Dad, but he spent most of those hours working when we were in school and after we had gone to bed.

I don't think it's any surprise that many kids that have issues or problems live in homes where either the father is hardly around or gone forever. When I go to pick up my girls from school I know the kids that don't have fathers around just by the way they act, and I feel so sorry for them. Not that single mothers can't raise good kids. It's done all the time. But, I think that is a small minority.

I want to be a great dad. I want my girls to always love me and want me to be around. I know that will not always be the case. I can already sense my 7 year-old is getting that "dad is such a lame ass" attitude about her. There are going to be a lot of things that are going to be out of my control, and I accept that. But, the one thing I know I can control is to be there for my kids. It may not always be convenient, or necessary, or interesting for me...but I will be there.

PEACE OUT DADS!

Home Alone (with the kids)

2009-10-01T11:16:00.000-07:00

What Now?

As part of her job my wife has to travel every now and again. It's really not too bad, maybe once a month for a day or two at the most. This summer we actually used one of her longer trips as a little family road trip. It was blast for the kids and we got to hang with her the whole time. Yesterday she left for California and won't be home until late tomorrow night so that means it's just me and the kids. I have been alone with them enough to know things will be fine, as far as keeping them safe, feeding them, bathing them and in general making sure they are in as good of shape when their mom gets back as they where when they left. They may get to stay up a little later than normal, or eat at McD's once or twice, or even watch a little more TV, but for the most part they will be no worse for the ware. They will have their moments when they will cry and want her home like, NOW....but like anything else with young children once their mind focuses on something else they will be fine.

I on the other hand will be counting down the seconds until her return. Don't get me wrong, I understand that her job requires her to travel, and right now it's her job that is keeping our family afloat, and for this I am truly grateful. I just hate not having her around, even for one night, let alone three. I will fill my time cleaning the house, doing laundry and even getting some yard projects taken care of that have been on my to-do list since Spring. It will pass the time and I know she loves coming home to a clean, calm home. I like doing these things and I know she appreciates me doing them. But I truly miss her. Maybe I am odd because I really don't have anyone else to talk to about the things we talk about, which is everything. She is my best friend, my career councilor, my bartender, my health care expert, my cheerleader, my exercise partner, my TV guide and the person who keeps things hot when it's "business time!"

That is a lot and she manages to do it all while still being the best Mom on the planet, a critical employee and a terrific sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, grand daughter and friend. I know I have written other posts in the past talking about the amazing woman, but in my mind I don't write enough about her and how wonderful I think she is. It really can't be put into the right words or talked about enough. She is simply the best.

Before her work trips she goes into a sense of dread, not wanting to leave but knowing she has too. I hope she knows how much her family will miss her, how much we appreciate her, and how happy her husband will be when she gets home. I miss you B, and I love you so much. Can't wait for tomorrow night.

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

You're sh!##ing me, right doc?

2009-09-28T08:53:00.000-07:00

What Now?

This week I get to enjoy the wonderful experience of the yearly physical. I have started making these visits each year for the past 5 or so, you know, when you hit the early to mid-30's, things start to not look like, act like or feel like they used to when you were younger. I myself would probably have been one of those pig-headed guys who only saw the doctor when I had a major problem, like a dangling limb or severe head trauma. But, I have a paranoid mother and a more paranoid wife that would not let me get anything done until I made that annual appointment. Now, in their defense I must say they only pester me because they care about me and would like me to hang around this floating rock as long as possible. Either that or they have conspired together to pester me so much that I will die of annoyance soon and they will be rid of me once and for all. Hmmmmm.

It is in my best interest to get the innards looked at once a year. My family has a history of high cholesterol and prostate cancer (just found out Dad had it a couple of weeks ago). At my appointment a couple of years back I found out my cholesterol level was on the low side of bad, which is very close to the the high side of good so I don't know what the big deal was. I went on medication and dropped that number like it was hot. Then I got on this exercise and health kick and have lost over 20 lbs. since that appointment and have been off the medication since the first of the year, so I am excited to see where my numbers are now.

Here is where my story gets ugly. A week before I get to be fondled and invaded by a dude, I have to get my blood taken for lab work. This has never been an issue in the past so I had no worries as I checked myself in that morning...oh, except for fasting. I was horse eating hungry by the time I got to the office! I was called in, the nice nurse lady took three tubes of blood, she told me that I needed to leave a urine sample before I left, and then she pulled out the white envelope. I have never seen the white envelope before. It must be some kind of survey or something, you know..."How are we doing, did you enjoy your visit, should our nurses be better looking", that kind of thing. The next sentence out of her mouth would change me forever....

"This is your stool smear packet, it's pretty self explanatory but I can go over it with you if you like."

What the what? Are you kidding me? I am sure she could have gone into the gory details for me, but just hearing the words "stool" and "smear" alone made me throw up in my mouth just a little. I grabbed this little while envelope from her, pissed in the cup, and got the hell out of that place. I had the damn thing open before I hit the seat of my car and started reading.

Now, I too could go into the gory details of this little surprise with you, but I imagine you get the gist of it. I got home and set it on the table. My wife looked at it, looked at me and asked "is that a.......", before she could even finish I said yes and left the room. I could hear her laughing as I marched upstairs and crawled into bed. I don't know what it is about this little test that is causing such a problem for me. I have helped raise two human beings and there is not much that grosses me out anymore. This however raised the stakes...big time!

Well, as I right this post I can say I have completed 2/3 of the test (oh yes, there are three parts!) and I am doing OK. I should finish up soon and be ready for the real fun of the actual physical. Three cheers for getting older!!!

PEACE OUT DADS!

SCREAMING FOR SOCCER!

2009-09-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

What Now?

Yesterday the girls' fall micro-soccer season began. Both of my girls love soccer, well..my oldest loves playing soccer and my youngest loves putting on the uniform and the after game snacks. As in past seasons we volunteered to help coach with our friends who's two daughters are best buddies with our two girls, that way they could play on the same team (the oldest girls play on one team and the youngest girls play on another). We showed up a little early so the kids could all meet and talk before the first game. I walked K, our oldest, over to her field and got her set up (which she really doesn't need anymore, but I still like to pretend I am needed in this respect). My wife and I then wait for our coaching friend at the field R will be playing at. And we wait...and wait...and wait. It seems she is running a little late so we gather up the kids so we can get the game going. Just before the first kick she comes screaming in with both of her girls in tow. She recently took a new job and so her being a little late is no big surprise. She looked a little frazzled, but my wife was there to help so I ran over to watch K's game.

At halftime of each of the games my wife and I try to switch so we can watch each girl. I ran back over to R's field to make the switch...that is when all holy hell broke loose. Our friend, the coach, was trying to console her daughter before the start of the second half (the coaches are on the field with the kids in our little league)...and that little girl was having nothing to do with that. It was clear she wanted her mom, she wanted to go home, and she didn't care who knew it. So coach mom ran back onto the field followed by her screaming daughter. And when I say screaming I don't mean just screaming. I mean she was screaming like her hair was on fire. So coach mom is trying to coach, trying to settle her daughter down and trying not to loose her mind. Thinking I could help I yelled across the field to her to see if she wanted me to take over coaching duties. She said no and continued this craziness. Another mother of the team who also knows the coach mom and her daughter tried, unsuccessfully, to calm this child down. Now, I have never met the devil, but I swear it was possessing this little girl at that moment. I even think her voice dropped several octaves and steam started pouring out of her ears while her face turned the shade of a firetruck. I could tell coach mom was about to loose it...and I mean in a big way. I can't imagine what her day was like before this, but if there was ever going to be a chance of a soccer mom coach going postal this was it. As I surveyed the scene I did overhear the devil child say she wanted to watch her sister's game. Thinking fast, for me anyway, I told her I would take her over to watch the other game...and, after giving me a look that shook me to my very core, she agreed. I ran over to the other field and dropped her off with my wife who was watching K's game. She seemed to mellow out and all was good from there on.

After both games my wife went to talk to coach mom and all coach mom could do it hug my wife and cry. I felt so bad for her...clearly this was the topper to a pretty shitty day. As the kids all enjoyed their after game snacks we talked about upcoming games and schedules. Coach mom was coming down some and devil daughter seemed to have been released from her possession. Our next game is tomorrow....might be a good one to skip.

PEACE OUT DADS!

Welcome to the county fair, please don't feed the freaks

2009-09-21T09:24:00.000-07:00

Happy Fatherhood Friday and the end of summer!

What Now?

Were I live you know Fall has officially arrived when the good old county fair comes to town. I love just about everything about the fair. I love the ginormous pumpkins people bring in for show, I love seeing all the farm animals, even with the smell, I love the overpriced games you play and have very little chance of winning, I really love the fair food even though you feel like it wants to claw it's way back out a few hours after eating it. I even love the carnival rides, even though I am not much of a fan of heights or fast moving objects that I am sitting in being held in place by a thin band of woven fabric being labeled as a seat belt. It is all good.

The one thing I really don't love about the county fair are the large number of freaks that I get to share my experience with. And I'm not just talking about the folks that work there. You would be amazed at some of the people that attend as well. I don't mean to sound elitist...but some of these people are only a bad choice away from starring in the next episode of COPS. But these same people must be doing better financially than I am because they have no problem dropping several hundred dollars at the fair. Of course that only gets you about 30 minuets of entertainment these days....it costs less to take your family to Disneyland I swear.

While my fear of this crowd caused me to use the kung-fu grip while holding my kids hands walking through this maze of freakness, they still don't hold a candle to the run of the mill carnie. That is a whole different kind of freak in my book. It didn't even faze me when my daughter said the tooth fairy must be keeping busy at the fair since some many of the people working there were missing their teeth. No shit. She would use her time better handing out toothbrushes I said to myself.

The best story of the night was the great ferris wheel ride my wife took with our youngest (little know fact courtesy of Wikipedia - The original Ferris wheel was designed by George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr., as a landmark for the 1893 World's Colombian Exposition in Chicago. The term Ferris wheel later came to be used generically for all such rides.) They got in line and waited their turn. Our youngest is not big on rides so the fact she was willing to ride anything was a big deal. I took our oldest to ride something else and grab some cotton candy. We came back to the ferris wheel about 20 minuets later and my the line had hardly moved. What the hell? It may cost more than Disneyland but the lines usually move faster. So I grabbed a seat and we waited. 20 minuets after that they finally get on. I didn't pay too much attention, but after my wife and daughter got off she had a look of total amazement on her face. "That was the most fucked up ferris wheel ride I have ever been on!" she said.

Instead of shuffling passengers on and off in a systematic fashion, their top notch ride engineer decided it was best to unload the whole wheel, load people on one at a time, give them one spin, and then unload the whole thing again. Kind of like sitting at a stop sign that only turns green for one car at a time until there are no more cars then it's green forever. All told they spent close to an hour in line and on the ride without going around more than once interrupted. At least they got their moneys worth.

ps. Thanks to those to heard my plea for more followers...I have 4 new fans so only 69 more and have my 100...keep 'em coming!

PEACE OUT DADS!

My 100th post - break out the beer!!!

2009-09-17T12:50:00.000-07:00

What Now?

Here it is. The wait is over. The time has come. You are one of the 5 to 7 people reading the 100th post of my blog "What Now?" It is also number 10 on the WND Top Ten list I have had going for the last couple of weeks. Pretty big stuff, eh? What started as random ramblings from a new dad blogger has turned into random ramblings of a dad blogger with 100 posts. Wow, the feelings I am feeling are...well, hmmmmm. Not much different, but I have to kinda make a big deal out of it, right? I mean, when a TV show hits 100 episodes they all eat cake after taping. When someone turns 100 years old the Today Show wheels out good ol' Willard to slap a Smuckers logo on their face. Elementary schools always make a bid deal out of the 1ooth day of school (usually that means my kids bring home 100 pieces of garbage I have to secretly throw away after they go do bed).

So what should be done to commemorate this dad's 100th blog post. I have a few ideas that I'd like to share with you...come and enjoy:

1. Maybe 73 other bloggers can become official "followers" of my blog are bring me to 100 total. I can't tell you how excited I get now when just one more person becomes a follower of my blog.....my kids call it "Daddy giving seconds of desert night!"

2. My boss could get me a more comfortable chair at work so when I write my blog posts (you know, the real important work) I can do it without jerking around like a fish out of water. I don't know what it is, but I can't sit still for more than 2 minuets these days. I'm like Kramer's girlfriend who had the "jimmy legs".

3. Getting a personal "congrats" message from the President, or at least my favorite blogger currently, Jason Mayo of Out Numbered. Here is a guy I can really relate too. He is the only male in his house....so am I. He writes a blog about him and his family....so do I. He is devilishly handsome...so am I (Thanks Madonna for helping me with this little tribute).

4. I could be wearing my most comfortable t-shirt and jeans sipping on a ice chilled glass of my favorite beer, Pipeline Porter, while my wife, wearing her sexy camisole and boy shorts, pops peanut butter filled pretzels into my mouth with Jimmy Buffett or Dean Martin playing in the background. Oh wait, that's heaven I'm talking about.

5. Maybe my sweet, darling daughters will, for just a little while, get along, clean their room, eat their dinner, brush their teeth, make their bed, do their homework, feed the dog, set the table, not watch T.V., get themselves dressed, stay in bed and everything else my wife and I ask them to do without saying "why?" afterwards. Oh wait, this is reality I'm talking about.

Instead of holding my breath for any of these things to happen, I'll just pat myself on the back, pack up for the day and go pick up my girls from school. To my 5 to 7 faithful fans, I hope you have enjoyed reading my first 100 posts as much as I have enjoyed writing them. Until number 101....

PEACE OUT DADS!

WND Top Ten - Back to high school

2009-09-16T08:46:00.001-07:00

What Now?

Almost there..the end of my WND Top Ten list and my 100th blog post. So, number 9 on the list got a lot of reaction when I first posted it back in July. It goes into my feelings about my 20th high school reunion and I think there are two sides of this issue for most folks my age. The first side can't wait for the reunion and to catch up with old friends. The other side would rather shove a hot poker up their ass before they would go. This has a lot to do with the kind of experience you have in high school. I myself had a great one, and I looked forward to the event and when it was all said and done I had a great time. I was lucky enough to attend my wife's 20th as well a month later. I think she actually fell somewhere in the middle....kind of wanting to attend but not super excited about it. I told her we should go, she would have a good time.....and about an hour into the first event I thought she was going to kill me. From a weirdo ex-boyfriend type trying to pawn his daughter on us to the snobby bitch breaking into every conversation like we wanted her there it was bad. The food kinda sucked too so there went my enjoyment! Fortunately she rallied and it ended up being a great time. The jury is still out on if we'll make her 30th or not.

The 20th Reunion

This post is number 80 for me and my little blog. To be honest I started this blog with no real idea of where to take it or what I wanted it to accomplish. There were time early on that I just about walked away. But, thanks to the encouragement of my wife, the computer dork and currently my sugar mama, I continued. And I am very glad I did. Being a part-time-stay-at-home dad does have it's many adventures, and what a great outlet to talk about them. I have met some other great dad (and mom) bloggers out there in the interweb and have become a big fan of their blogs. This technology really is amazing. As a good friend of mine said recently "I think this Internet thing just might catch on!"So, to mark this mini-milestone I thought I would talk a little bit today about another milestone in my life, my 20th high school reunion. My god, how could this be happening now? It seems like not too long ago I was going to my 10th. Since that time I have moved back to my home town, changed jobs twice, had two kids, lost about 30 pounds and settled into my new role as PTSAH dad. The only thing that is the same is my marriage to the most wonderful woman on earth (I love ya crouton!).I have talked to several people much, much older than me about the big 20th reunion and they all say it will be so much better than the 10th. No one will showing off, name dropping, job bragging, big timing like at the 10th. People are more real, they have families, they really are there to see old friends and tell old stories. To be honest I really enjoyed my 10th and have been looking forward to the 20th. There is however some nervousness I am feeling the day before I see people I haven't seen in over a decade.I am terrible with names. I can meet someone for the first time and forget their name 5 seconds later. How the hell am I going to do with people I haven't seen for years? How many "Hey buddy, hey champ, hey dude, hey lady" intros will I be able to get away with before I just freeze? I dug out my yearbook to try and cramp for this reunion exam, but that will only help if everyone looks the same as they did 20 years ago...fat chance. I can hold out hope for big ass name tags I guess, but if they don't have those I am screwed.I really should be no big deal. My wife thinks I'm a total dork for even worrying about it. She is my ultimate back-up plan for social events like this, introducing herself to everyone right away to get a name. It works pretty well, unless she forgets...then I really look like a fuck up. "Uhhh, Mrs. Whatnowdad, this is....uhhh, O shit...there is so-and-so, please excuse me!"What I am really excited about is the family picnic. Here I will get to see what the offspring look like, and try to imagine if they are anything like their parents were back in the day. Will the nerds have nerdy kids? Will the alternative/punk/goth parents dress their kids up in black? Will the hicks ride in with their kids on horseback. Will the jocks be tossing the old pig skin around with there kids? Will that one really hot chick from 3rd period science have a really hot 21 year old daughter and will they be wearing matching bikinis? Is that last one pretty sick? Probably...but you gotta wonder, right?And what will everyone think of my kids? Do they at all resemble what I was like as a kid, or are they more like me now? Maybe a good cross of both.After the weekend I'll give a full report on all the activities as I'm sure there should be some nuggets of entertainment to share.Until then....

PEACE OUT DADS!

WND Top Ten - Gross is in the eyes of the beholder

2009-09-14T09:19:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

The number 8 post on my "What Now Dad?" top ten post list is gross, or at least that is what I would have said before having kids. Since that night when my wife gave birth to our first child I can tolerate things that would have made me hurl like I did back in college after drinking a half rack and eating a 3 day old burrito. As a parent you develop a immunity to lots of grossness that happens around or on you almost daily. I remember changing that first diaper at the hospital. No one told me that instead of regular old human poop your newborn will unleash a title wave of black goo sure to make even the strongest of dads wretch! After 7+ years of daddyhood I can now say that just about any body fluid, or solid, barley fazes me.....is that the first sign of getting too old?

Oops, I crapped my pants!

The other night at 5am I was woken up to the sound of someone puking their brains out in our bathroom. I stumbled my way to the door to see our oldest with her head in the toilet and my wife holding her hair back. My wife made an excellent puck friend for her sorority sisters so she knew exactly how to handle this situation. I went back to bed, my wife followed shortly and K grabbed a blanket and slept on the bathroom floor.The next day K was treated to endless runs to the bathroom to take care of the runs she was feeling out of the other end. Unfortunately for her, and us, she has yet to experience the issues this kind of illness can have on your bowel control, thus...SHARTING! I was amazed that when describing K's issues with a friend they had never heard of the word shart. It's a simple combination of the words shit and fart, and is used often in our house, mostly as means to disgust or humor someone.I don't know when in human development people start to figure out that when you have diarrhea, and you also fee like you have to pass gas, that it's best to make your way to the toilet or risk brown streaking your underwear, pants and very possibility the chair you are sitting on. I know there are still some adults that have problem with this control, not first hand of course..I don't shart anymore...eh, let me tell you a funny story now.Friends of ours were telling us about their 9 year old son who refused to wear underwear. Even while playing sports he won't wear it, a jock strap or cup. After a long, hot baseball game the son ditched his clothes in the laundry room and headed upstairs. Our friend went in right after him to discover a rather large dirt trail in the seat of his uniform pants. She called him down and asked if he was feeling ok? He replied "I was just playing really hard out there mom!"Sharting is never fun and for the child who experience it for the first (and in my daughters case over the last couple of days, 7th) time it can really be a head trip. Speaking of trips, this morning I almost tripped over one of her freshly soiled pairs of undies...now that is a wake up call.As I wrap up the post my daughter, on her way downstairs, just informed me that the "area" that her poop comes from looks a little purple, while her sister's looks reddish. Nice!

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

WND Top Ten - Let's Talk About Sex Baby

2009-09-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

What Now?

It's Friday and I am feeling good. For the #7 post on my What Now Dad top ten list I bring you SEX, or at least my view on the subject at it pertains to parents. I think sex is a very important element to a good marriage and in order to have a good sex life you need trust, communication and good old fashion lust. My wife is probably just like a lot of moms out there who can pick apart their own body and the flaws they think they have. In my eyes my wife has never been sexier, and when it's Business Time we can really put on a show. I know for a fact that the sex we have now is 100 times better than when we first started dating....and that makes WND a very happy boy. Enjoy this post and your weekend!

The Sex Post

For my post today I have decided to weigh in on the hot topic of sex. My number 1a favorite activity that happens in bed. In my previous post I talked about my number 1b favorite, sleep. But, come on...I'm a guy. Do you really think they are that close in my ranking system? Well, I guess that depends on the day. And today sex is my number one topic! Specifically my views of the sex lives of married parents. It seems like this is a topic that every parent blogger, married or not, will discuss at some point of their blogging lives. There is a very good reason why I have decided now was my time....cheap and easy readership. I mean really, who will pass up the chance to read a blog titled THE SEX POST? Whether you are getting some, not getting any, getting just enough to get by or getting more than Kid Rock...you are gonna read this post. I just have the awesome responsibility to do the subject justice. And since it is Fatherhood Friday over at Dad Blogs you could not ask for better timing. So why the all caps, very obvious headline? Well, while I keep a total anonymous profile, there are members of my immediate family that do read this blog, so Mom, how about you stop right here and skip over to one of your scrap booking sites. It will be better for both of us if you do.OK, so what is my well thought out, very detailed, original view of the sex lives of married parents???SEX IS GREAT!Now, for those of you who are looking for a little more thought, a little more detail, a little more original (I'm talking to the women reading this post) please read on.Sex is the fabric that holds a marriage together. Sure, there are many other things that are also important...most of which don't come to mind at the moment, but sex is the glue, the staples, the duct tape (we could go off on some strange fetish with that one, but I digress). When I was first dating my wife up to about, oh, say seven years ago before our first child was born, I was way more into quantity instead of quality. Don't get me wrong, I think every time my wife and I have had sex it's been great, but this is the male perspective so take that with a grain of salt. I wanted it all the time. It was like I was having my own personal contest with Wilt Chamberlain or something (although his count was with different women, but again, I digress). It took the birth of my two children and the amazing patience of my wife to teach me that quality is what counts when it comes to sex. I don't have to tell anybody with kids that sex gets put on the back burner every now and again. This is something that women understand instantly, but for men it takes a while, like years.So how did I enter the temple of enlightenment? Did I take a seminar or consult a therapist or even better yet, read a great blog post like this one? I don't really know, but what I do know is that I am much happier with our sex life then I ever have been, and that includes when we did it like bunnies back in college. I don't know if it's age, the fact both of us is eating better and working out more, or just the inner peace I have, but you just can't touch the sex we have now. I can't even really find the proper words to describe it..but in the words of Def Leppard's classic Pour Some Sugar On Me....

"You got the peaches, I got the cream - Sweet to taste, saccharine - 'Cos I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet - From my head, my head, to my feet

Do you take sugar? one lump or two? - Take a bottle, shake it up - Break the bubble, break it up - Pour some sugar on me"

PEACE OUT DADS!

WND Top Ten - Accomplishment

2009-09-08T14:25:00.001-07:00

What Now?

Number 6 on my WND top ten post list of all time is my favorite post because it talks about the single biggest accomplishment I have ever achieved personally. It also marks a real turning point in my life and how I now go about every day and how I feel about myself. Someone said that if you can run a mile you can run a marathon...and I am living proof!

The Story Of My First Marathon

This story starts off with a beautiful day, perfect for running. I was excited, nervous and really ready to get this thing started. At 7am the gun goes off and away I go with 300 fellow nut jobs. I felt strong and determined..today was going to be my day. I made sure to stop at every drink station, I mixed in a little walking, but not as much as I did during training. Things were going great. After 10 miles I was at a sub 10-minute mile pace. WOW. I felt like I could back it up a bit and still make my time goal, sub five hours. Miles 11 to 15 went slower. The major hill was during this stretch, I walked a little more and at the turn around I grabbed some cookies and took an extended walk. I was still in great shape for my time goal, all I had to do was bring it home. It was just past mile 15 that it hit me…the hamstring cramp…OH SHIT! I had the same thing happen after my 10 miler a couple of weeks ago. This was no ordinary cramp…this felt like a sniper had shot me in the back of the leg. Damn….what now. I stopped, because I could not move forward anymore. I straightened out my leg, because to bend it would only increase the pain. There I stretched it and rested. After the same thing happened during training I was able to loosen it up enough to walk for about a half mile or so. I would not stop here. I started to walk, stopping every few feet to straighten and stretch. After a bit I was back in the race. Walking for a good while then able to start running again. I was off my pace, but still able to get under that 5 hour mark if there were no more delays. At the 20 mile mark I had another delay. The cramp was back, and worse. This was bad. 20 miles was the longest I had ever run during training, and my body seemed to be telling me it was not going any further than that. Again I stopped, straighten my leg and stretched. This time it was closer to 10 minuets before I could start walking again. It was about this time that B came riding up to me on her bike…my guardian angel. She herself ran the 1/2 marathon with her sister, my sister and a good friend from high school. She wanted to make sure I was doing OK, I told her I was not. She rode with me while I walked and tried to run more. After a few strides of running I could feel the hamstring tighten up. Stop, walk. Now the chance to get under 5 hours was out the window unless things changed dramatically with my leg. I drank more fluid. B got me some salt tablets. I stopped to stretch more. Mile 21 and 22 pass and no sign of my leg getting better. Time to switch to goal B…just finish. I told myself before the run I wanted to get under 5 hours, but if that was not going to happen then finishing would be good enough and there would be no disappointment. Well, at this point in the race I am disappointed, but only with my leg. My wind felt great, I was feeling strong mentally. There was nothing that would have slowed me down except my damn leg. This was something out of my control and I just had to suck it up and keep moving forward, even at fast walk pace. With about 3 miles left the rest of my support crew was there cheering me on. My kids, my parents, B’s family…wow. I was excited to see them all, but was not expecting the emotion I felt. I gave some high fives and kept going….not saying a word for fear of opening up the flood gates. Pretty soon I could see the finish, it was about a mile or so away, but I could see it. I was past the 5 hour mark by now, but it didn’t matter…the finish was in sight. With about a 1/4 of a mile left I started to run again….everyone has to cross the finish line running right? Wrong. My leg quickly reminded me that it had given up at mile 20, and that my mind was not going to make it do anything it didn’t want to. Stop, straighten and stretch. The finish line was a stones throw away and I was not moving another step until my leg was ready. That is when it hit me…emotion so strong that I could not hold it back. Tears started to flow. My family was cheering me on, urging me to cross that line, and I was a mess, both physically and emotionally. B was at the finish line waiting for me. My sister was next to me telling me I could do it. Finally, after what seemed like forever, I stood up and started walking No longer able to run. My body would not allow that. I walked across that finish line with my head up and a true feeling of accomplishment inside. I did it. I finished a marathon. Something only 10 months ago I would have never even considered. A volunteer handed me my medal, the announcer read off my name..I did it. I really did it. B was there with a big hug..god I love that woman. I can’t imagine what those last 6 miles would have been like without her there. My parents, sister, nephews, nieces, in-laws and friends were there with congratulations and you did it and way to go. Wow. I was able to compose myself enough to thank them all, and to soak up the moment. Until yesterday the longest running race I had ever done was 7 miles. Until just over a year ago the longest running workout I would even consider was no more than a mile or two, my legs hurt too much to do much more. Now I can say I am a marathon runner. Now I can say there is really nothing I can’t accomplish if I really set my mind to it. Now things are different and will never be the same. As I write this my legs hurt like they have never hurt before. I am looking forward to taking some time off from training and just resting. Then, after a little rest and a little reflection it’s time to choose my next goal….stay tuned!

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

We return to the WND Top Ten - Sleeping Perfection

2009-09-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

What Now?

I'm back with #5 in my own personal What Now Dad top ten post list. I have gone with a post that describes the bed time routine of my wife, who, admittedly goes through this insane ritual and still does not sleep that great. I now know what her nights are like as I myself, a champion among champion sleepers, has had a few restless nights. One new item to add to her list includes propping a magazine in the window at just the right spot to block out any light coming from the outside street light located about half a block away. Oh, and it's just the light that is not getting blocked by the two massive trees we have in our front yard, oh and the closed blinds too. That is some persistent light that she has to shade...no wonder she has a hard time sleeping!

Sleeping with the bionic woman.

When reading the title of this post there is a chance you might think I am writing about something else...something sexual. Before you get too excited please rest assured that this is about sleep, and nothing more than sleep. It should still entertain you, but I didn't want your hopes built up and then squashed like a bug. So with that, here goes...

I am one of those people that has no problem whatsoever sleeping. I fall asleep fast, stay asleep all night, and wake up refreshed and ready for the day (for the most part). My wife on the other hand is the complete and total opposite. It takes her forever to get to sleep, she will wake up at just about anything (to be explained further) and mornings are, let's just say a little rough on her.

Her pre-bed routine goes a little something like this:

1. Make sure all lights are out, including, but not limited too nightlights, street lights, flash lights, lighting and lightning bugs. And I mean out! If you think that closing a door of a bathroom with a nightlight is sufficient, you are so wrong.

2. Make sure the white noise is on and set at the proper volume. In our bedroom the bedroom fan serves this purpose. To control the volume the door to the bathroom must be no more and no less than 6 inches open. Stray from this measurement will only require trying again.

3. Make sure all 6 pillows are in their proper place. I think she could have double this amount, but then I would be sleeping on the floor.

4. Make sure the door to the girls room is open the right amount. This is close to the 6 inch rule for our bathroom door, but there is a little more flexibility here.

5. Make sure the TV is on, but at a low volume, until she is close to sleep. If she is in control of this I get to watch some fat chick cooking and not being able to hear what she is talking about. If I am in control I can watch what I like, but still not hear.

She may also need a little "self-medication" help in the form of a Tylenol PM, but that is only in extreme circumstances. If all five steps are taken care of then it should only take an hour or two for her to drift into dreamland. If any of the above steps are changed while she is sleeping then the chances of her waking are high and it will take another couple of hours for her to get back to sleep. When you throw in visits from our youngest at 2am you can guess what the result is.

I try to skimp on some of the steps, but like the title says, I sleep with the bionic woman. Any flicker of light, variation in white noise or doors open or closed any more or less than the desired amount will be like a blaring alarm to her and will be required to be fixed. The woman has the thinnest eyelids and most sensitive hearing of any one person I know.

Fortunately for me, as I mentioned before, I sleep very well. So even with all the prep that needs to happen I can get the winks I need without much fuss. I love her to death, but I will never understand her sleep issues, thank god!

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

Cancer, really?

2009-09-03T20:09:00.001-07:00

What Now?

So I am going to take a little blog post break from counting down my top ten WND posts. Last week my Dad had his physical and his level of something I can't remember was a lot higher than his last physical so they wanted to do a prostate biopsy to check for cancer. My Dad's dad has prostate cancer later in his life so the chances were pretty decent that my Dad might have it too. I really didn't give it much thought, not because I don't care about the health of my Dad, but because cancer isn't something that really happened in our family at such a young age (I can now say 60 something is not old since I am close to 40).

So tonight my Mom called to tell me the test came back positive. "What does that mean?" I asked..kind of knowing but not really wanting to. It means there is cancer there. Cancer, really? Talk about your head filling up with more thoughts than you can process. Now, before I get too deep into this I have come to realize that in the world of cancers, prostate cancer is like the minor leagues. And when caught early, like in my Dad's case, it is very treatable. Hell, I even learned that eventually every man will get it if he lives long enough. Now that is crazy shit.

So, before I was calmed by all this my thoughts are about my Dad, his health, me, my health, human mortality...damn, I didn't want to think about this stuff, not now...not ever. Like I mentioned before I have never really had to deal directly with this stuff in my life so I really don't know how to react or what to think. I'm not an idiot, I know that everyone has to deal with death...but I also know it can never be easy.

I am fortunate in my family to have many health care specialists in it. Right away we had names of great doctors for my Dad to call. As my Mom said, he is more concerned with the treatment than the actual cancer at this point. Both my Mom and Wife have made me feel at ease with this news and for this I am so thankful.

Not the most uplifting blog post in the word, but I know it will have a good ending....stay posted, I'm sure I'll be talking about this more down the road.

PEACE OUT DADS...AND KEEP YOUR REGULAR DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS PLEASE!

WND Top Ten - Got a question?

2009-09-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

What Now?

Number four on my What Now Dad top ten post list is a personal favorite of mine, and I know most parents can relate. My 5 year old is the question queen, and there is no one who is safe from her and her inquiries. We flew to Hawaii and for all 6 hours we were in the air I don't think she stopped asking questions to take a breath. The best two questions from her to date goes a little something like this (and they both have to do with moose...go figure):

Question #1

R - Daddy, I don't like that moose head in Bruce and Kathleen's house.

Me - I know you don't R.

R - Daddy, if Bruce and Kathleen move they will have to take the moose head in their house with them, right?

Me - Right.

R - Why?

Question #2

R - Daddy, I don't like the moose mascot at the pool.

Me - I know you don't R.

R - He is scary.

Me - I know, but what are you going to do when we go to Disneyland?

R - Why, do they have a moose too?

Questions, Questions.

Am I the only Dad that feels like he fields more questions in one day than Alex Trebek has over his whole career on Jeopardy? My kids, especially my youngest "R", can weave a web of questions that after a while has my head spinning so much that I feel like driving my car straight into the next stop sign. I love how curious they are, and I love being able to answer their questions and fill their heads with information....but there are times I just want to say "please stop asking me questions and let me be!" But then I am reminded that in the not so far away future the questions will be asked less, and less and maybe even stop. That worries me more than anything else. So, what is your next question?

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

Back to the WND Top Ten - Dad's Cooking

2009-08-31T07:24:00.000-07:00

What Now?

OK, it's been way too long since my last post, so I am back at it, with #3 on my own personal What Now Dad top ten. This post was one of my first as my new role of part-time-stay-at-home Dad was starting to take shape. I think over the past 3-4 months I have gotten much better at my new role, but things were rough at the start, as you will read.

What's For Dinner Dad?

Tonight was one of those nights that make me think being a part-time stay-at-home Dad is going to be more difficult than I thought. My better half was on a day trip for work and was headed home a little later than she thought. The girls and I were knee deep in some home cleaning (the family has recently decided to get our house picked up and put in order, which I love!!!). Yesterday we tackled the girls room, and today it was the toy room getting the home make-over. Well, dinner was now on me and when we finished our room cleaning it was already 5:15pm, and I didn't have a clue what we were going to eat. If I would have just remembered what my wife had told me and cooked up a little pasta thing would have been fine, but I decided to improvise a little. I went straight to the freezer, the one place I used to call home for the night's dinner plans before I was married. There was nothing, nothing at least that I could handle. Then, in the back I saw something, it was frozen solid and looked a little like taco soup, one of my favorites. Mind you, it was frozen solid and by now it's 5:30pm. So, I dump the frozen block of something into a pot and turn the stove burner up to the max. Needless to say this was going too slow, so I then transferred the frozen block into a bigger pan and threw a top on it. The girls were getting anxious and hungry so I called audible #2 and threw together some cheese quesadillas and apple sauce (that's healthy right?). While they chowed down I was still holding out hope for my frozen something or other. After it started to smell like something was burning I decided to take a look. Not only was it not close to being ready to eat, but I discovered what I thought was taco soup was actually spaghetti sauce. How someone can make this mistake is beyond me, but as I have been telling my wife I must have been in another state of mind or something. So, with my options for myself running low I turn off the stove and abandon the burnt frozen mess and look at my other options. It turns out my plan B for the girls was not enough and they are still hungry. I then go to an old standby and try to throw together several items to make something that, after eating, does not remember anything that anyone would eat. In this case it was tortillas. cheese, ketchup and pepperoni, or as I was calling it, pizza. This idea was more horrible than it sounds. Did I mention I pounded down two glasses of wine during this whole process. Thankfully, as I was finishing off my so called pizza (oh yes, I ate it...and my stomach is feeling the effects as I write this!) my angel, my goddess, my wife walks through the door. Before I can even fully explain the events that have taken place up to that point she has pasta boiling. Before you know it all my girls are eating a wonderful dinner while I sit at the computer and write down what happened. I have a long way to go, but I think my heart was in the right place. Now I just hope I don't get sick later tonight.

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

WND Top Ten - My Wife

2009-08-25T13:42:00.000-07:00

What Now?

For the next top ten Whatnowdad post I picked this one from February 23 because it describes, in a very simple and cute way, the relationship I have with my best friend and soul mate. As I have said on a few occasions I could dedicate a whole blog to my wife and what she means to me. This post is just one example why I am entirely devoted to this woman.

There are a few certainties I have in my life and one of them is that I married the perfect woman for me. We are so compatible it is scary. One of the ways I know this is that we have the same sense of humor, which is probably only funny to us. Last night we were catching up on some of our shows on DVR and my wife was enjoying a chocolate peppermint patty. She then looked at me to say something very important and I turn to her and see her mouth surrounded by a thin, chocolate ring. This is funny to me on so many levels, but mostly because our 5 year old daughter has this look constantly. In fact, I swear she sometimes gets this look without even eating chocolate...I don't know how but it seems I am always cleaning off her face. So to see my wife, a 38 year old woman, with the same look made me laugh instantly. And when I pointed it out to her she too started laughing. We both laughed so hard we were crying. It was the second time last night we did that, but I probably shouldn't talk about what made us laugh the first time. She is my soul mate, my best friend and the other half of my comic duo. I am more than certain she was the one I was supposed to meet and I love her more than she will ever know.

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

WND Top Ten

2009-08-24T10:05:00.000-07:00

What Now?

This post is #90 for my little blog. Not much of a milestone number I realize, but it does mean that I am only 10 posts away from hitting number 100, which in just about any setting is big. Right now however I don't feel super creative and/or inspired to come up with new, awesome, funny, insightful posts. So, here is what I came up with.

THE WHAT NOW DAD TOP TEN POSTS OF THIS BLOG FROM IT'S START UP UNTIL NOW.....

Here is what I figure. When I started this blog nobody knew me, nobody read it, and it was pretty much something I did to kill a little time. In the 90 posts since I have actually followers, people are commenting and I have been introduced to a blogging world I never really new existed. The 10 posts I pick will help catch people up on who I am and what I am about...so, at number 10 is my very first post dated February 10, 2009.

Welcome to the start of what I am hoping is a well written, well received, daily journal of one man's life from this point forward. I am joining the world wide phenomenon of blogging in an attempt to release some creative energy and maybe, just maybe, create something that becomes bigger than I can possibly imagine.For my first blog I thought I would list 25 things about myself that will help you, the reader, find out where I have come from and where I am at now so that you will come back to see where I end up going. So, without further ado...

1. I am married to the most wonderful woman on the planet. I could use this whole list to talk about her and at the same time know I don't need to.

2. I have two smart, beautiful girls that are the center of my universe. I can't imagine life without them.

3. I live in the same town I grew up in and love it. I spent 7 years in bigger cities and maybe someday I'll live in one again, but for now I am a small town boy and loving it.

4. My parents still live in my hometown and having them so close so my family can see them as often as we do means more to me than they can possibly know.

5. I am the oldest of three kids with a younger sister and brother. I could not be more proud of the adults they have grown up to be and while we don't talk as much as some siblings, I love them to death.

6. I have 5 nephews and two nieces. All of which hopefully consider me one of their favorite uncles.

7. I could not have hand picked better in-laws.

8. I am currently in a career that is deeply effected by the current economic crisis, thus the part of my blog description "part time stay at home dad."

9. Before I started my current job I worked in sports marketing for several teams including several in semi-pro leagues, one from the NHL and a collegiate athletic department.

10. I grew up loving sports and competing in many, including running hurdles for my college track and field team.

11. I have lived in 4 states and traveled to many other, and hands down I think Idaho is the best in the US.

12. I have had several pets in my lifetime and I think my cat Muffin from childhood is my favorite.

13. I currently have a 10 year old Australian Shepard mix named Maggie. This dog has frayed every nerve I have and then some and I always think back to how my lovely wife tricked me to get her.

14. While always maintaining a decent level of fitness since college, I have recently jumped started things and will be running my first marathon this May.

15. Did I mention how awesome my wife is, and that she inspires me everyday to be the best I can be.

16. My girls, let's call them K and R, provide me with a lifetime of entertainment every day.

17. The house we currently live in is about 50% updated. I look forward to doing the other 50% while at the same time wishing fairies would come and do it for me in the middle of the night.

18. I have attended several PGA tournaments with my father and brother including the Phoenix Open, The Masters, The PGA Championship, The Ryder Cup and last year the US Open (the one that Tiger won on a bum knee). We plan to seeing the British Open as well so we have a clean sweep of all the majors.

19. Last year I rode the Seattle to Portland cycling classic with my Dad. 200 miles in 2 days. He kicked butt on a bike that is almost as old as I am.

20. When it comes to music I like just about everything but have a special place in my heart for hard rock (especially from the 80's!).

21. I also love just about all movies, but nothing beats the Star Wars saga.

22. I have my girls hooked on Star Wars as well....HECK TO THE YEAH!

23. I raced Dan O'Brien in the hurdles back in college. Guess who won?

24. I have many, many friends. Some I don't stay in touch with as much as I would like, but when we do talk it's like we never missed a beat.

25. I look forward to seeing where this thing takes me...hopefully you will too.

PEACE OUT DADS!

Break out the tissues, it's back to school time

2009-08-20T10:00:00.001-07:00

Fatherhood Friday!

This is my post from last Thursday, but it fits nicely with the new Fatherhood Friday theme going on over at dad-blogs. Go check it out and read a lot of great dad and mom blog posts...and now, the back to school post from WND.

What Now?

Last night my wife and I attended an informational meeting for the K+ program our youngest daughter will be attending before her kindergarten class this upcoming school year. It sounds like a great program that will enrich her kindergarten experience and set her up for a great start to her educational journey. What it means for my wife and I is even bigger....One drop-off and one pick-up. The one-drop off/one pick-up means that instead of driving all over our little town to take each of our children to their school, daycare, babysitter, after school program and snack run we drop them both off at the same time each morning for school and pick them both up at the same time after school.

When you are a parent it's the small things that make up the biggest joys in life. Like not having to make lunches for them anymore. Hot lunches for both kids at school means I have just about 10-15 more minuets each morning to devote to sleep, dishes, laundry or even coming up with my next wonderfully creative idea for this blog.

Another great parent morning time saver is when your kids can make their own breakfast. We are close on that one, but the fear of our oldest attempting to microwave her own bacon keeps us up at night, so it might be a few years before that actually comes to pass.

I think these little time victories are only on my mind as we draw closer to the school year. For my wife I can tell something much bigger is brewing insider her head. I saw it happen two years ago when our oldest child started kindergarten. "How can we have a child starting school, she was just a baby the other day, how will she get along without us for most of her day" are just a few of the verbalized thoughts I heard from my wife back then.

You can take that anxiety and turn it up about 10 notches now as the baby of the family starts school. I am thinking of breaking out the heavy duty sweater that day to help absorb the flood of tears that my wife is sure to expel. It is sure to be a water works show only before seen at the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas that could last the better part of the day. My wife has already scheduled a day off from work so she can sit outside the school, stalker style, to make sure everything is safe and sound. Call it a kindergarten stake out, Richard Dreyfuss and Emilio Estevez style (there is a reference I bet you wouldn't expect!)

Thankfully my youngest child is more than ready for this and should, if history is any indicator, treat her first day in school like any other.....and if she makes her own breakfast that morning it will be me she sees crying, tears of time victory joy!!!

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

The OTHER great race

2009-08-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

What Now?

Yesterday, at the World Track and Field World Championships, Usain Bolt of Jamaica won the 100 meter dash with a time of 9.58, shattering his own world record in the process. Bolt, the 2008 Olympic gold medalist, once again showed why he has the title of "world's fastest man" by blowing away the competition.

And yet, on the other side of the world another race at a local high school track was about to take place. A race that, in my little world, makes the world championships seem rather unimportant. This race would pit father against daughter, a rivalry just starting to take shape, but will no doubt be ranked among the best in sports, at least in my daughter's mind.

For anyone who developed an interest in sports at a young age the biggest rival you faced was your parent(s), especially if you are the first born. Sibling rivalries are big, but don't really develop until all the siblings reach a similar level of ability. Heck, I could whip my younger brother in just about any sport invented for the first 18 years of his life. But I would say the last 15 years things have changed big time in the only sports we dare to compete in, like golf, ping-pong and racquetball. I would challenge him to a game of basketball, but I'm afraid I would injure myself beyond repair.

As the oldest child in my family it was my Dad that posed the biggest sports challenge I could ever face. To me he was like Larry Bird, Dan Marino, Don Mattingly and Carl Lewis all rolled into one super athlete. No matter the sport, he would always get the best of me. Until that one day that will live in sports history, or my mind, forever. The day I finally beat him in basketball. I don't remember the details, but I certainly remember the feeling. I have to believe it's right up there with winning a Super Bowl, an NBA title or a World Series. I still don't know if I beat him legitimately or if he threw the game, but for me things changed from that day forward. And now as a father I know they changed for him too.

How do I know this, well let's get back to the big race shall we? I thought it would be fun for the whole family to head on down to the local track and run around a little. We could probably tire out the kids a little and if I could avoid pulling every muscle in my body it would be a good day. My 7 year old is built very much like me, tall and all legs. I know she is fast. I've seen her leave friends and cousins in the dust when they race. When she suggested we race I'm sure you could see the glimmer in my eye a mile away.

We lined up at the start of the 100 meter dash. I told her I would give her a 5 second head start, just to be fair. To be honest I thought I could probably catch her by the 50 meter mark and then jog it in for the win. We get set, we get to our marks and I yell 'GO!"....and she is off. I count to 5 very loud as I see my little girl tear up the track...oh shit, I'm gonna really have to run now. At 5 I take off, determined to catch her.....better go faster.....come on dad, better catch her. Whoaaa, she is really fast. Don't hurt yourself old man, this is just for fun remember. Amazing how many thoughts I'm putting together for this short race, eh?

At this moment I know what my Dad felt like when we would play. On one hand you love seeing your child compete, give it everything they have to beat you. On the other you do still have a little pride, and you don't want to just hand them victory, you want them to earn it.

So, how did the race end you ask? You mean it wasn't posted on ESPN.com right under the world championship results...that sucks! Well, let's say it took just about everything I had in the tank to just nip her at the finish line. We did race one more time, and in that race she got me....and if I let up at the end she will never know, nor will she care because she beat her dad and that feeling will stay with her forever.

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

Hair today, gone tomorrow

2009-08-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

What Now?

In the past week my girls and their two little friends have said very, very funny things about their parents and our hairyness (I know hairyness is not a word, but it works here). These are not the first hair conversations they have had, and I am guessing they won't be their last either. When it comes to their parents the only thing kids seem more interested in talking about besides how hairy they are is the shape, size and downright odd nature of their private parts. Maybe because besides the amount of hair and the difference in private parts both kids and parents are pretty much the same. Whatever the reason is I love it because it gives us such gems as these:

Conversation #1 - I took all four kids to the local pool on a very hot day last week. I usually let the older girls loose to have their fun on the slides and diving board while I hand out in the shallow pool with the younger kids. My normal routine is to stand there and continually say "yes" every time one of the little ones asked if I will watch them do something ("WND, will you watch me while I duck my head under water....PLEASE!!!"). On this particular day I was just standing there and I notice the other parents little one staring at me. I ask her if she would like me to watch he do something and she replies "no, but you know what?" "What?" I ask. "My dad is really, really hairy!" This is funny for two reasons. 1) I am about as hairless as lizard. Besides all the normal spots I don't have much hair to speak of at all. When I do let the old beard go it resembles Cliff Clavin from the Cheers episode where all the guys have a beard growing contest (if you don't remember that show just think of dabbing your face with glue dots, then rolling around the floor of a barber shop...that is me with a beard. 2) Her dad is hairy, and I mean Sasquatch hairy. I am pretty convinced if you saw him 50 yards away you couldn't tell if he was shirtless or wearing a sweet black sweater he got for Christmas.

Conversation #2 - This comes from our friends who watch all four girls the other half of the day. The mom sent me an email saying "I won't go into how this conversation between the two little ones started, but it ended with your little girl saying her dad has really hairy armpits" So where I lack hair just about everywhere else on my body I more than make up for under my arms, at least according to my little girl. This one is not as funny as #1 until I heard the first part of the conversation. The mom said her little girl, out of the clear blue sky, tells my little girl that her mom had really hairy....now, I was half expecting her to say armpits, which in itself would be funny and a little embarrassing for the mom. Instead the word VAGINA followed that sentence. Hmmmmm, awkward, ya think? My first thought is I've got nothing to follow that, no a joke, not a pun, not a personal experience I can share...nothing. My next thought was what in the hell were the girls talking about to lead them to that sharing session? What did come of out my mouth was something to the effect of "girls, let's get your stuff and go...please........now."

PEACE OUT DADS!

Hey Sis, bad news...Mom and Dad are back!

2009-08-10T13:36:00.001-07:00

What Now?

My family is sooooo very lucky to be living in the same town as my parents, and I say this very sincerely for those of you sitting out there thinking "oh boy, here come the sarcastic punch line!" But it's true! I know many, many couples who would shutter at the thought of sharing the same home town to habitat in, but for us it is wonderful.

How can this be you ask? Don't they drive you crazy, aren't they always telling you how to raise your kids, don't they say you your house is too small, messy, ugly, close????? How in the hell can you like living that close to them?

Well, my parents just may the the perfect combination of involved, non-judgemental and respectful. This, I must stress, makes their relationship with my wife, our kids and I about as pleasant as one could hope for. Example: My wife and I both had a triathlon race this weekend out of town. We were fully planning on bringing our kids and finding a babysitter to watch them while we swam, bike and ran our asses into the ground. about a month ago my folks asked if they could keep the kids this weekend because my sister was dropping her kids off on her way out of town and they wanted all four of them around to play and have fun. ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Who offers this? What was their real motivation here?

Nothing. That is just the way they are. Not only did they keep all four kids, ages 4-7, for 3 days and nights, but they had a blast with them. The weekend rundown went a little something like this:

Mini Golf
"Hotel For Dogs" on DVD
"Night At The Museum 2" at the theater
Dinner at McDonald's
Stops at the ice cream shop
Rides in Dad's convertible
Trips To The Park
Late nights and early mornings
Enough snacks to keep a small army moving for months

And that was just on Saturday!!! So you can only imagine my girls reaction when they were told my wife and I were back in town. That went over like a fart in church.

I am guessing that most kids don't live this close to their grandparents, and if they do they all don't have the same relationship that my kids share with their Nana and Papa, and for that I feel very fortunate. None of my grandparents are still alive, and I lived about 300 miles away from them when they were alive. Growing up we would see them about twice a year, and I remember how much I loved those trips as a kid. As an adult I saw them less, except for the one year I lived about 30 miles away from my grandmother, one of my favorite years of all time. My kids see my parents about every day and enjoy every second of it.

So thanks Mom and Dad...you are the world's best grandparents!

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

Bad influence

2009-08-06T08:55:00.000-07:00

What Now?

My wife and I try so hard to set a good example for our girls. The biggest compliment any parent can get from other people is "your children are so well behaved" or "your child is so caring" or "We just love your child, she is very nice". It's amazing how all of our efforts and hard work can be tossed aside like an AC/DC record at a disco party. Who would dare undermine our efforts to raise the world's perfect children....THEIR FRIENDS!

Yes, like Lex Luther is to Superman....your kids friends are constantly looking for ways to turn your sweet, lovable child into a super villain with the power to whine, pout and throw temper tantrums that shake the foundations to the ground.

Don't take this comment the wrong way, I like my kids' friends. If I didn't I would do everything in my power not to let them see each other. It's just they seem to get away with behavior that they shouldn't, and it's rubbing off on my kids, and it drives me fucking crazy. When I see their friends act like this I have to do everything in my power not to let them have it. It makes things really hard when my girls copy this behavior, because I don't hold it back for them and they get all my rage that is pent up.

The biggest problem I have with it is that my kids know better. They don't act like that until they spend some time with these friends, then they transform into their friends, right before my eyes.

The good news is the friends I speak of go to a different school, so in a month when my children restart their educational journey the time they spend with the "bad influence" will be limited. Of course, my problem increases by 100% when they encounter all those other kids at school. If only other parents were as perfect as us, in the fantasy land we live in anyway.

PEACE OUT DADS!

I love it!

2009-08-03T21:50:00.000-07:00

What Now?

For me one of the greatest times of being a parent is discovering that your child shares the same love of certain things that you did when you were the same age. Now I will admit I have gone to great lengths to make sure my girls are exposed to lots of the things that I loved back then and for the most part still love today, but it is "mostly" their own personal choice on if they will like them as much as I did/do or not. So, for your reading pleasure I have compiled a list of some of those things...and they are:

1. Star Wars - For me the greatest movie ever made. Yes, the movies now have better special effects, better sound, and yes, even better writing, but...I have yet to see a movie that makes me feel the same way I did after watching Star Wars at the tender age of 6. My girls took to these movies instantly, and we watch all six of them together often. Now that Cartoon Network has introduced the Star Wars "The Clone Wars" TV series we can share brand new adventures from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

2. Legos - Legos were around a long time before I played with them and they will be around even longer after my girls have outgrown them. They are the perfect toy. You get to build a toy, play with the toy, take apart the toy, and repeat. That could be kid toy nirvana wrapped in cardboard. Now you can buy your legos in themes like....Star Wars. Are you kidding me? That is like sex and eating for adults!

3. School House Rock - Back in the day these great little cartoon shorts were wedged between your favorite Saturday morning programs to keep you from seeking fresh air and exercise. The good news was each episode was based on something educational, either history, math, gramme, money or science was cleverly disguised with catchy songs sung cool cartoon characters. The only way kids of today can see these classics is on VHS or DVD, which of course I have. The whole family has our favorites...mine is linked to the title. "Rockin' and a-rollin', splishin' and a-splashin', Over the horizon, what can it be"

4. The Banana Splits Show - I would run, fast...like cheetah fast, home from school in order to catch this show created by the fine folks at Hanna Barbera who also gave us such classics as The Flintstones, Jonny Quest and Hong Kong Phooey (God, was there anything better for kids television than Hanna Barbera? The answer would be NO!). Only because of the addition of Boomerang, the classic cartoon network, to the infinite list of cable channels can kids see this show (I don't even think it's on DVD...WHAT?). For some reason my wife thinks this show is mindless crap that is rotting our girls brains...so I make sure to pepper in a little School House Rock to even things out!

5. Disneyland - My family took lots of road trip vacations. I don't think I actually got to fly to a vacation destination until we took a trip to Hawaii my sophomore year in high school...and we only did it then for obvious reasons. Two of these trips were to the happiest place on earth, the magic kingdom...DISNEYLAND! As a parents we have already made that many trips ourselves and are planning another one this winter. I think you are either a Disneyland family or you are not and thank your Micky Mouse ears we are. If I had the same expressions tattooed on my face at that age that I see on my kids then I know how happy my parents were taking us there. What is great is riding on the same rides with my girls that I rode on with my parents and still feeling like I'm seven years old. Man I just love that place.

There are many, many others...but these are probably my top 5. Whenever you find connections like this with your children you build bonds that last a lifetime and at the same time relive your own childhood. Can it really get any better than that?

PEACE OUT DADS!

The summer of me continues

2009-07-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

What now?

OK, I have a couple different ideas for my new post, and no time or energy to get them down because I am taking the family up to the lake for another little mini-vacation this weekend. Nothing but relaxing, eating, drinking, swimming and maybe a little exercise...we will see. I will not have my computer with me and will not really have the urge to look at it anyway. So, please come back here on Monday and check me out again. I'll probably have some great stories, hopefully.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

PEACE OUT DADS!

What a weekend!

2009-07-27T13:58:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

OK, I promised some stories after my 20 year high school reunion on my next post so I am here to deliver, but instead of hashing out some general details I thought I would tell the best story, or at least the one that brought my wife and I to tears when it was told by another classmate. Now, because you don't know any of the people involved you may not think it is as funny, but I am guessing everyone has friends or acquaintances that are like this and have seen something like this first hand so you can appreciate it. So, please sit back and enjoy:

THE NIGHT OF THE WALKING LUSH!

Starring - Dennis, one of the very few single classmates I have left. Dennis still likes to party like it's 1989, and was very, very thirsty on Friday night, if you catch my meaning.

Witnessed and Told By - Marty, one of my classmates that still lives here in town. He is great and telling old stories, even ones that happen just the night before.

The Scene - Downtown at about 2pm. All the bars have closed and only a few hungry souls are searching for munchies.

Marty, after a very long night of watching his wife, also a classmate of this 20 year reunion, drink herself silly, stops by the local deli so she can satisfy her drunk munchies desire. While waiting in the car Marty notices Dennis walking up the sidewalk. Dennis is all alone and not keeping his balance all that well. As Dennis approached the car Marty yelled out the window "Dennis, how are you doing man?" Dennis stumbled over to the car "Marty, you son biiitchhhhhh, what the hell are yooouuuuu doin'?" "Just waiting for Michelle to grab a sandwich...hey, if you are headed that way could you poke your head in and see how close she is to getting some food for me?" "I am on that dude, noooo worries!"

Dennis starts to make his way down the sidewalk toward the deli and Marty can't help but notice the zig-zap pattern he is taking. Clearly Dennis has had a few. Then, out of the clear blue sky Dennis stops, looks up at the sky and belts out, to nobody in particular a big old "Booooooyahhhhh!" Marty looks around to see who the hell Dennis is talking to and there is nobody around. Dennis takes a few more steps then again he belts out "BOOOOOOOOOOYAHHHHHHHHH!!"

Marty is now a little concerned but watches Dennis carry on and continue his brown bottle shuffle. Just a few yards from the deli a couple approach Dennis. As they pass by Dennis stops, looks there way and yells out "Heeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyy!" The could then begins to speed walk in the other direction clearly spooked by our friend Dennis. Marty can tell this is going to be a great story for everyone the next day, especially Dennis who clearly won't remember it.

Marty now looks at Dennis looking for the signal on how close his wife is to getting her late night munchies so he can get his ass home and to bed. Marty looks like he is picking up a little speed as he blows right by the deli and around the corner without even the attempt to look in. Just a few seconds after ducking out of sight Marty hear another, but fainter "Booooooyahhhhhh." Good night and good luck to the walking lush!

I still laugh out loud when I think of this story, good shit! In closing all I can say is I had a great time catching up with old friends and rehashing old war stories. I had a lot of responses in my last post by people that went to their reunions and loved them, as well as a few who skipped theirs because they didn't enjoy their high school years or didn't want to see those people again for one reason or another. All I can say is if you have the means and the time to go you should. By the time you get to our age all the drama is over and you can just chill out, have a beer and spend a little time with folks that shared the same experiences as you 20 plus years ago.

Also, if you have a knock-out for a spouse or significant other that always helps your stock. I should know since my wife was the best looking girl in the room! I love ya B, thanks for hanging with me all weekend!

PEACE OUT DADS!

80th post - 20th reunion

2009-07-23T10:48:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

So, to mark this mini-milestone I thought I would talk a little bit today about another milestone in my life, my 20th high school reunion. My god, how could this be happening now? It seems like not too long ago I was going to my 10th. Since that time I have moved back to my home town, changed jobs twice, had two kids, lost about 30 pounds and settled into my new role as PTSAH dad. The only thing that is the same is my marriage to the most wonderful woman on earth (I love ya crouton!).

I have talked to several people much, much older than me about the big 20th reunion and they all say it will be so much better than the 10th. No one will showing off, name dropping, job bragging, big timing like at the 10th. People are more real, they have families, they really are there to see old friends and tell old stories. To be honest I really enjoyed my 10th and have been looking forward to the 20th. There is however some nervousness I am feeling the day before I see people I haven't seen in over a decade.

I am terrible with names. I can meet someone for the first time and forget their name 5 seconds later. How the hell am I going to do with people I haven't seen for years? How many "Hey buddy, hey champ, hey dude, hey lady" intros will I be able to get away with before I just freeze? I dug out my yearbook to try and cramp for this reunion exam, but that will only help if everyone looks the same as they did 20 years ago...fat chance. I can hold out hope for big ass name tags I guess, but if they don't have those I am screwed.

I really should be no big deal. My wife thinks I'm a total dork for even worrying about it. She is my ultimate back-up plan for social events like this, introducing herself to everyone right away to get a name. It works pretty well, unless she forgets...then I really look like a fuck up. "Uhhh, Mrs. Whatnowdad, this is....uhhh, O shit...there is so-and-so, please excuse me!"

What I am really excited about is the family picnic. Here I will get to see what the offspring look like, and try to imagine if they are anything like their parents were back in the day. Will the nerds have nerdy kids? Will the alternative/punk/goth parents dress their kids up in black? Will the hicks ride in with their kids on horseback. Will the jocks be tossing the old pig skin around with there kids? Will that one really hot chick from 3rd period science have a really hot 21 year old daughter and will they be wearing matching bikinis? Is that last one pretty sick? Probably...but you gotta wonder, right?

And what will everyone think of my kids? Do they at all resemble what I was like as a kid, or are they more like me now? Maybe a good cross of both.

After the weekend I'll give a full report on all the activities as I'm sure there should be some nuggets of entertainment to share.

Until then....

PEACE OUT DADS!

Sorry, I don't speak baby talk!

2009-07-21T15:27:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

One of the greatest joys of parenthood, in my opinion, is hearing your baby speak for the very first time. This is one of those huge moments for any parent (and for the baby too I suppose). The feelings you get can't be described and nobody will understand it until they can experience it themselves with their own child. It almost makes you want to have more, but then you slap yourself, take a cold shower, pour a big ol' glass of wine and remember all the other stuff that comes with a babies first words, like the 5 million diaper changes.

So, why is it that for me there is nothing as pure and wonderful as a baby's first words, but when my 5-year old talks baby talk I want to drive nails through my ears? Nothing drives me up the wall more than that and it seems like the more I tell her to stop it, the more she does it. I understand that all kids go through stages, and the baby talking stage is bound to rear it's ugly head eventually, but my god it has to stop and soon, or I just might trade in the 5-year-old for a real baby so help me God!

I remember a girl in my wife's sorority that constantly talked like a baby. BITCH PLEEZE!!! I mean come on! She was very attractive, somewhat intelligent, had a great personality and was very popular with the boys (maybe too popular if you know what I mean). When I would talk to her and she would break out the baby talk I would, in my mind of course, look at her like she had lobsters crawling out of her ears. I always wondered if she did that during sexy time? I can't even imagine what a guy would do, either laugh out loud, run and hide or punch her in the throat. Then again it was college, and most horny college guys will put up with pretty much anything to get laid, right?

So if anybody out there in daddy blog land has been down this road to madness with their little angel I would love a little advice. I don't want to trade in the 5-year-old, besides the baby talk I've grown very fond of her. Until I get this thing fixed my posts might have a wee bit of crazy laced in them....just another day for the part-time-stay-at-home dad!

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

Happy birthday kid, where does your dad keep the beer?

2009-07-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

Our girls were invited to a friends birthday party yesterday. This particular friend has a grandmother who has a pool, so every year she has a Hawaiian themed pool party. It's a great way to go when you have a pool and a summer birthday. Every year we go to it my wife and I try to come up with new and exciting ideas for our girls birthdays, both of which come in December. Your options are really limited with winter birthdays. I mean, how many bowling or movie parties will the kids tolerate. At least we still have 5 months before we have to come up with something!

This particular kid's birthday parties have become more and more difficult for my wife and I to attend. You see, the parents of this kid and us used to be really good friends, about 5 or so years back. Over the years we had less and less in common and you can say we kind of split up as couple friends. Now, about the only time we socialize with them is, you guessed it, their kids birthday pool party. Last year my wife "conveniently" had to take a long training run, and met us at the party just as it was ending. I thought about telling her that this was her year to take the girls, but thought better of it and we both went. YEAH!!!

So there we sat with them around the table, drinking a beer, watching the kids have a blast in the pool while we searched deep for any kind of small talk. The wife of this couple really has no problem keeping the conversation going, mostly because she loves to talk about herself. My wife and I do an excellent job of nodding our heads, blurting out the occasional "uh-huh" and smiling, lots and lots of smiling. This really must be some form of torture on other countries. "Maybe more beer will help" I keep thinking.

All kids birthday parties follow the same timeline:

1. kids play
2. kids eat
3. kids watch birthday kid open presents
4. kids thank birthday kid and parents
5. parents take kids home

Number 5 on this list could not come soon enough for us, but for some reason steps 2 and 3 took longer than expected and we could not really rush step 4 without looking like total douche bags, right?

We got home after the 2.5 hour ordeal, put our feet up, and were quiet, for a long time. That is until the girls came off their birthday sugar high and wanted to play. Giddy up!!!

PEACE OUT DADS!

Home Sweet Home

2009-07-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

I woke up this morning in my bed, came down to make breakfast and coffee in my kitchen, and right now I am writing this post from my computer. Happy day! I love to travel, to take vacations, to hit the road to new places and experience new things. But, I think one of my favorite parts of any trip I have ever taken has been coming back home. How else can you truly appreciate what you have at home if you never leave it?

The family road trip was a great success. Because it was formed around a business trip for my wife there was the outside chance it would have been a failure, but we managed to give our kids a great trip and relatively no cost and ourselves a nice little break from reality (at least I did...my wife still had those darn work meetings).

There are a couple of things I don't like about vacation road trips, and only recently have discovered them.

1. Eating out for every meal. I don't know if it's because we don't eat out as much when we are home, or if nothing will ever compare to my wife's cooking (let's go with that one, it sounds so much better and might earn me some brownie points). We ate at some really nice places and had some really good food, but at the end of every night my wife and I felt like we couldn't take enough acid reducer. It really did a number on our insides and we'll need 5 days of home cooking just to make those toilet trips more regular, if you catch my meaning.

2. Standard hotel rooms suck for families. In Portland we had a sweet suite with a room off the bedroom. We put the kids to bed, shut the door, and were able to enjoy each other's company and/or watch a little TV. In Seattle however it was one room, for all four of us. We made the best of it by putting the kids down in one bed and curling up in the corner, in the dark, with glass of wine while my wife read Harry Potter and I thumbed through USA Today. After they crashed we could crawl into the other bed and turn on the tube, but couldn't watch the good stuff on HBO. The thought of the girls waking up to First Blood was enough to keep us in the PBS zone for the night.

3. Most people in big cities drive like morons. I know things move faster and you have to react quicker, but come on. There is no need to ride my ass, cut me off, not let me merge and then give me the stink eye when you drive past. Go fuck yourselves and then learn how to drive! Oh, and on the same subject, would it kill the city of Seattle to use bigger and better place road signs? That place is a drivers worst nightmare. But it does make you appreciate life in a small town.

And speaking of small town, we have a nice little Saturday planned. Gonna hit the local farmer's market, then hit Costco to restock our empty cupboards, and then fill up the little backyard pool and try to beat the summer heat. HOME SWEET HOME.

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

Time for vacation

2009-07-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

I decided to take tonight off from blogging and enjoy a little more vacation. The Mrs. and I have some wine and will enjoy some adult time after the kids crash out. Back home tomorrow!

PEACE OUT DADS!

The children's museum and the parenting exhibit

2009-07-15T21:22:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

Day three of the family road trip had one, and only one, objective. Go to and enjoy the hell out of the Portland Children's Museum. This time is was me and the kids sans wife. She had to attend more work meetings which meant I was the sole parental entertainer for the day. I had the plan and it was going to work to perfection or there was going to be hell to pay!

OK, that is a little extreme, but a little extra drama could be good for the ratings, right? After we all kissed my wife goodbye I jumped in the bathroom for the s, s & s, got dressed, got the kids dressed, made sure everyone brushed their teeth, packed up the stuff, took three trips to pack up the car, double checked the room, got the kids packed in the car, forgot the glasses from the room were in the car, make another trip to the room, triple checked everything, got back into the car and hit the road for our big day.

We arrived at the C.M. and found the same parking chaos that greeted us the day before at the zoo. Don't people in Portland work for crying out loud? And if they don't then shouldn't they be saving their money instead of paying to see the local attractions? Actually, we only had to look for a spot for about 10 minuets so not too bad. The kids were still fired up and we were ready for fun.

Now, I'm sure you are thinking "kid's museum, why in the hell would you subject yourself to that?" "are there exhibits of ugly kids, asshole kids, fat kids next to tall kids?" No, nothing like that, but it is a place that parents can turn their kids loose and catch up with them several hours later without having to lift a finger, answer a question or do anything remotely resembling parenting. In other words...a little vacation within the vacation.

What is great is that while you, the parent, can take a break from parenting your own kids, you can observe other parents either doing or not doing the same thing. Some parents just can't let little Jimmy do anything on his own so they are their, helping him mold his clay, shoot the water gun and get dressed in silly costumes. Poor kid probably hasn't wiped his own ass, ever. Then there are the parents who do such a good job of "non-parenting" they don't notice when their sweet baby is tearing apart the exhibits or eating the fake rocks or kicking the poor volunteer who thought "helping kids" was what they wanted to spend their retirement years doing...poor bastards!

I think I fall somewhere in-between. Staying out of my kids hair long enough for them to feel a little Independence yet keeping enough of one eye on them to make sure they see mom in one piece later that afternoon. Plus, I can just enjoy relaxing, something that family road trips are not known for.

Day 4 tomorrow, bring on your best Seattle...cause we are coming!

PEACE OUT DADS!

All animals love sleep, not just my dog

2009-07-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

Day 2 of the ol' family road trip is coming to an end as I sit here on the hotel couch, stuffed full of late dinner plus dessert, and figure out what I should post about. Let's see...the day started off pretty good. We enjoyed some complimentary breakfast in the hotel lobby area. We took a drive to the local Target store to look for warmer clothing for the kids (much cooler this morning than we packed for). We dropped off my wife for meetings (we did kinda tag along on a work trip for her so whatcha gonna do?). We hit a mall carousal, the food court and the carousal again. What is it about those damn things? You sit on a wood horse, spin around a couple dozen times, slowly, and that's it. Yet, it will be the one thing my girls will say was their favorite part of the trip. It didn't even have that terrible organ music...what a jip! We come back to the hotel for some serious pool time (again a little cold, but my kids would swim in the outside hotel pool, in Minnesota, in January, just for the chance to do so. But, the real highlight came after we picked up my wife in the afternoon. THE PORTLAND ZOO BABY!!!

When we visited Portland a couple of years ago I took the kids to the zoo solo while my wife again was at work meetings. At the time they were 5 and 3 and really loved it. It could only be better at ages 5 and 7 plus having their mom there. When I looked it up on the Internet last week they were promoting two new things, a baby elephant and the Chimpanzee Maze for kids. Both were very much anticipated by my girls.

We pull into the parking lot to find, what seemed like, just about all of the Portland metro area trying to find a spot. Why the hell would so many people be coming to the zoo on a Tuesday afternoon? Were they giving rides on the giraffes (that would be so sweet, and I would pay big bucks for that attraction, just for the record). After what seemed like 5 hours trying to find a spot we finally park the family roadster, waltz up to the ticket counter and prepare to plunk down close to 50 bucks for 3 hours of zoo fun. The ticket gal said "that will be $8 please." Whoa, turns out every second Tuesday it's $2 Tuesday at the zoo. That explains the body jam, and the sweet collection of some of Portland's finest visiting this day. OK, we pay the $8, feel a little better about the parking situation, and head in.

We cruise around, taking in all the exhibits and trying to locate the animals who lived in them. Two observations from the zoo trip, a) just because there is a cage and a sign with the name, picture and description of the animal that lives there does not mean you will see this animal live and in person, and b) animals of all shapes and sized have one big thing in common, they love to sleep. When we did see the actual animal that matched the photo of the sign there was a 75% chance they were in dreamland.

We were making pretty good time and seeing just about all there was to see, even the baby elephant (very cute I must say). All the time my wife is trying to steer us towards the much anticipated Chimpanzee Maze. We finally roll up to the entrance at 6pm just in time to see them put up the "closed for the day" sign. Oh shit! Within 2 seconds of K seeing this sign she breaks down into uncontrollable tears. R, who can't read completely yet also breaks into tears, for what reason she does not even know at the time. All the fun and snow cones of the day will go right down the old shit drain now, and not even another ride on that fucking mall carousal will fix it. Thank goodness my kids weren't the only ones having a hissy fit, and out of the goodness of the zoo hearts they reopen for another 15 minuets. The day is saved, and for just $1 each my girls were able to spend a good 3 minutes negotiating what they believe to be training ground for all zoo primates.

So, in closing it was a good day. And thanks to the now legendary Portland Zoo Chimpanzee Maze I won't have to hear about that carousal...I think. Tomorrow is a new day.

PEACE OUT DADS!

What...no stories???

2009-07-13T21:08:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

7 1/2 hours in the car, several potty stops, one lunch stop, one stop to see Multnomah Falls (Dad, we've never seen waterfalls before) and no great road trip stories. How can this be? The girls were great, the wife was happy, and I have nothing to complain and/or laugh out loud about. I mean, besides gale force winds that nearly took me into the river two dozen times the trip was fast and easy.

Maybe kids are just adapting better to long road trips in the car better than in my day. In my day we would only be 15 miles out of town before we started asking if we were there yet. It was only 30 miles outside of town before my parents had to separate us before we killed each other. and it was every 15 miles on the 15 miles that they would threaten us with turning around and going home. We complained about being too hot, being too cold, needing the windows down for fresh air, needing them up because it was too windy. Turn the music up, turn it down. How my parents made those trips, and continued to make them each and every summer is so beyond me. I think the best description of me and my siblings on a road trip is how Gremlins get when you put water on them....except with crazier eyes and smaller ears.

Now, I could have done without the 10 million questions we got from "R" (as you know she asks more questions than...um, well....someone who asks a ton of questions. And our special road trip lunch was at Denny's (I still feel like Satan's spawn is slowly chewing his way out of my stomach lining). But, all in all the trip was a great success. We roll into our sweet hotel, enjoyed the complimentary dinner and Fat Tire beer, jumped in the hot tub for a soak, put the kids to bed and am now enjoying a little wine with the wife watching Two And A Half Men....how can life get any better (OK, so having a separate room for the kids next door with walls thick enough to keep a heard of elephants quiet so the adults can "play" would be great, but...the wine tastes pretty good so, eh?).

Maybe tomorrow the real road trip fireworks will start...we do have plans for the zoo, kids museum and science center. They can't stay this perfect...can they?

Until tomorrow,

PEACE OUT DADS!

This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!!!

2009-07-13T07:45:00.000-07:00

NOW WHAT?
"I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!" - Clark Griswold from Vacation

Today we pack up the family cruiser and hit the road for a little vacation to Portland and then Seattle. It's not our first family road trip, but it's been a couple of years since our last one and since our girls don't really remember it so I am calling it the first, unofficial road trip for the family. I will do my darnedest to blog about the trip while on the road giving you insight on the good, the bad and the funny. It should be a fun ride for everyone and maybe we'll uncover some great family spots for those of you who travel to these cities in the future.

Today we have 7+ hours in the car so it should make for some great material. Have a great Monday everyone and make sure to check back and see how the family road trip is going.

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

Oops, I crapped my pants!

2009-07-10T13:46:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

The other night at 5am I was woken up to the sound of someone puking their brains out in our bathroom. I stumbled my way to the door to see our oldest with her head in the toilet and my wife holding her hair back. My wife made an excellent puck friend for her sorority sisters so she knew exactly how to handle this situation. I went back to bed, my wife followed shortly and K grabbed a blanket and slept on the bathroom floor.

The next day K was treated to endless runs to the bathroom to take care of the runs she was feeling out of the other end. Unfortunately for her, and us, she has yet to experience the issues this kind of illness can have on your bowel control, thus...SHARTING! I was amazed that when describing K's issues with a friend they had never heard of the word shart. It's a simple combination of the words shit and fart, and is used often in our house, mostly as means to disgust or humor someone.

I don't know when in human development people start to figure out that when you have diarrhea, and you also fee like you have to pass gas, that it's best to make your way to the toilet or risk brown streaking your underwear, pants and very possibility the chair you are sitting on. I know there are still some adults that have problem with this control, not first hand of course..I don't shart anymore...eh, let me tell you a funny story now.

Friends of ours were telling us about their 9 year old son who refused to wear underwear. Even while playing sports he won't wear it, a jock strap or cup. After a long, hot baseball game the son ditched his clothes in the laundry room and headed upstairs. Our friend went in right after him to discover a rather large dirt trail in the seat of his uniform pants. She called him down and asked if he was feeling ok? He replied "I was just playing really hard out there mom!"

Sharting is never fun and for the child who experience it for the first (and in my daughters case over the last couple of days, 7th) time it can really be a head trip. Speaking of trips, this morning I almost tripped over one of her freshly soiled pairs of undies...now that is a wake up call.

As I wrap up the post my daughter, on her way downstairs, just informed me that the "area" that her poop comes from looks a little purple, while her sister's looks reddish. Nice!

PEACE OUT AND HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND DADS!!!

They blinded me with science

2009-07-09T08:51:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

Yesterday afternoon it was just my girls and me for the whole day. For most of the summer we have split days with another family, or my mom would watch the girls, or I would drop them off at their former daycare to see their old teachers and some old friends. But yesterday it was just me and them, for the day, all day. The night before I put my plan together and it was just what Dr. Thomas Dolby ordered...a trip to our local kids science center. I myself have never been, but both my kids and wife have. We had talked about it for the past month or so and yesterday was the day.

As science centers go, and I speak with limited experience only having visited a couple in my life, ours is OK, not great, but not terrible. I didn't know what to expect really but when we walked through the doors I thought it was going to be better then static balloons stuck to the wall. The youngest, "R", was instantly startled by the stuffed cougar and coyote that greeted us at the door. It did not matter that they were long since dead, she was not going near those things. Just then a plastic ball with two small rodents goes jetting by us. Obviously residents of these parts, my girls start to follow blindly before I get them back on track and to the real excitement.

After the usual fair of optical illusions, electricity experiments and puzzle games, a nice lady with a rodent on her shoulder asks if the girls would like to come listen to her little presentation on insects. My girls love insects, so they enthusiastically jump at the chance. I follow along to see the real show, not the bugs, but the amazing girls with a zillion questions. This poor lady did not know what she was in for..but I did, and I could not wait to see someone else tackle their barrage of endless queries.

So, of course the first round of questioning dealt with the rodent perched on her shoulders.

"Why is that mouse on your shoulders?"

"She is a rat, not a mouse, and she is my special assistant."

"What is the mouses name?"

"Again, she is a rat and her name is Violet."

"Why is Violet on your shoulders?"

"She is my special assistant and she likes to go for rides."

There were several other rat/mouse/Violet questions before she could even start her presentations. She starts by asking a few questions herself to test the insect knowledge of my girls. K had taken a trip to the local universities bug museum for school so she had all the answers. Her sister R on the other hand was still asking about Violet.

"Will your mouse bite?"

"No, she is very tame." she answered obviously giving up on convincing R that it was a rat and not a mouse.

About half way through the presentation the two rodents in the ball rolled by, starting a whole new series of questions that had nothing to do with insects.

"Why are those two mice in the ball?"

"They are called Dungas, not mice, and they are just exploring the center?"

"Why are they in that ball?"

"We keep them in the ball so they don't run away?"

"What is that brown stuff in the ball with them?"

"Dungas poop."

You can imagine where the question went from there. After trying to keep the girls on track for the better part of her presentation she wraps it up by asking if the girls had any questions about insects and there impact on the world? R raises her hand and says...

"Did you know there is a dead cougar and coyote in the lobby?"

"Yes I did"

"I don't like them?"

"Oh, they aren't real, you shouldn't be scared."

"OK...can I pet your mouse now?"

Long live science!!!

PEACE OUT DADS!

Our favorite kids songs, vol. 3

2009-07-08T18:19:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

Here is the third, and final, volume of kids songs our family grooves too. I can admit that some of these songs get played enough that I find myself wishing for slow death before I hear them again, but all in all these songs are great for the whole family in limited play. Of course the kids can play the same song over and over and over......then come downstairs and ask to sing it to me, over and over and over. Gotta love 'em. Here we go:

11. Peanut Butter Polka - The Jimmies

How many ways do you like your peanut butter sandwich, not including with jelly? This song pay tribute to all the different ways kids like their PB. I recall really liking it with mustard myself. To be in the song I would need a name that rhymed with mustard...I don't like the prospects.

12. Banana Smoothie - The Naked Brothers Band

Great little ditty by a band that might be following the footsteps of the Jonas Brothers if they aren't careful. Kind of a Hawaiian island theme going on here with directions on how to make the perfect tropical treat. My girls and I have developed a dance that would look great in a music video, just in case you are reading Naked Brothers.

13. Love, Lovely Family - The Roots

Another main stream group with a big kids hit. I don't know if this song was meant for the younger crowd, but it gets a lot of play on Sirius/XM Kids Stuff and both my kids and I sing this from start to finish. This adds a little hip hop/reggae to the mix and is sure to please the mellow music lovers of the group.

14. El Quacko - Zev

Like Catboy this song has a little old country style to it. This is another nonsense song that kids pick up pretty quick. Think Rawhide meets the Wiggles, but much cooler than the Wiggles. And can you beat a cowboy duck named El Quacko? I didn't think so.

15. Billy Joe Mcguffrey - Veggie Tales

The tale of the most injury prone child on earth. Very funny lyrics that go pretty fast for kids, but you'll get a kick out of them. There are several versions of this song available, but I went with Veggie Tales because I like the voices the best.

Well, that's it. All 15 songs recommended by whatnowdad and his two little angels. I encourage your responses to my list and any others I may have missed. We are always looking for good music to get our groove too. Life without music is pretty dull, and quiet!

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

Our favorite kids songs, vol. 2

2009-07-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW!!!

As promised, here is the second volume of our favorite kids songs as heard on Sirius/XM Kids Place Live and recently downloaded by me for my girls. I hope you like them as much as we do.

6. Catboy - Pencilhead and the Playground Punks

This songs cracks my kids up every time they here it. Picture a lilliputian riding the family cat rodeo style. Like Fast Monkey the lyrics in this song are easy to understand for kids who like to sing along. It also has a nice country music style to it if you are into that kind of thing.

7. Crazy ABC's - Barenaked Ladies

It seems like a lot of former mainstream music acts have tried their hand at kids tunes and this is certainly the case for the Barenaked Ladies. While I have to try to explain their band name to my kids every time this song comes on they love this song. It's the thinking kids alphabet song and will introduce them to words they don't hear everyday, unless you have one of those "word of the day" calendars at home.

8. What Kind Of Dog Are You? - Billy Jonas

This is not the 4th Jonas brother in case you are wondering (that's Frank Jonas, and his purity ring is BROKEN). Very funny song with word plays galore. My girls love to shout the answers before I can, and they have gotten very good at it after hearing the song about 500 times!

9. Barking At The Moon - Jenny Lewis from the movie "Bolt"

I have not seen this movie, but my kids have and they love it. This is more of a traditional country song that could be heard on your local radio station. It's a sweet song and Miss Lewis shows she has a great voice. I'm just glad it was not sung by Milly Cyrus, one of the voice stars of the movie. That girl just bugs me!

10. It Only Take One Night To Make A Balloon Your Friend - Lunch Money

This is one of my all time favorite kids songs (the other did not make the list only because I could not download it, but maybe it can make a "just missed list). Very simple song about the life if a helium balloon and it's new owner. You can see the song writer actually writing down everything her child did with his balloon and then make a creative song about it. I also think this song could have been written while the song writer was high, but that is just wrong.

OK, only one more volume to go, and maybe that list of "almost misses". Please let me know if you have opinions about any of these songs if you have heard them millions of time like me or if they are brand new to you and your kids.

PEACE OUT DADS!

Our favorite kids songs, vol. 1

2009-07-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW!!!

Living in a small town has it's share of plus items and negative items. One of the things we lack around here that bigger places enjoy is variety in radio stations. For too many years I was stuck with about 4 reliable radio options in my car. Their formats changed every so often and sometimes they would change to something I could stomach listening too. When my wife and I had kids we were pretty much stuck with CD's from the likes of the Wiggles, Backyardigans, Dora the Explorer and such. While the kids loved these infant rockers my wife and I would feel a little like captured enemies of the state forced into some mid-evil torture. Thank goodness for satellite radio! When I subscribed to Sirius Satellite Radio not only did I get several radio formats that I liked, we also got the Kids Stuff channel, now called Kids Place live on Sirius/XM. While we still get a few songs that make me long for the Carpenters, there is a good number of songs that both the kids and the adults like. When you find this rare combo you want to hold onto them like gold. For about a month the kids and I would keep a list of our favorite songs from Kids Place Live and I told them at the end of that month I would download them and put them on a CD...kind of a like a "best of" for our family. I thought why not share our little music collection for the masses that read this blog and add a little parent commentary for each track. So, without further adieu...here we go with volume 1:

1. That's How You Know - Amy Adams from the movie "Enchanted"

This is one of our families all-time favorite songs from one of our favorite movies. If you have little girls in your house I would strongly recommend renting this movie ASAP. You'll be singing this song together in no time. And don't take my word for it, it was nominated for an academy award back in 2007.

2. Hamster Dance - Hampton the Hamster

If your kids love to dance like mine do, then this song is for them. Based off the pop culture phenomenon website Hampsterdance.com this funky number has very few lyrics but a catchy beat that both kids and adults can't help to bop their heads too. One word of warning, it can get stuck in your head and cause some sleepless nights.

3. Crazy Frog (Axel F) - Crazy Frog

This is a remake of the classic Beverly Hills instrumental hit Axel F. Like the Hamster Dance this song is for those kids that like to get up and shake it. There are a couple other songs from the same Crazy Frog that are takes on old instrumental classics. See also the version of Popcorn...good stuff!

4. Fast Monkey - Stevesongs

This song falls into the category of senseless fun. It seems the artist was smoking a little bud and then decided to write a kids song, or just scribbled down some of the things he saw during his "trip". The words are easy to understand and my kids were singing along after their 3rd time hearing it. For parents it's kind of cute that you will get a chuckle out of. And don't be surprised if you aren't singing along as well.

5. The Song Of Life - Scribblemonster

This song pays tribute to the classic board game Life. I loved playing this game as a kid and just recently introduced it to my kids. After a couple of months playing the game we hear this song on the radio and it was an instant hit with us. Just think about the game and you understand the lyrics immediately. For those of you poor fools who have never played Life, I suggest playing the game and then listening to the song. You'll love both.

In my next blog I'll go into Volume II of our music hit list, stay tuned.

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

Please pass the wiener....schnitzel

2009-07-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

The conversations around our dinner table can be very entertaining for me and my lovely wife. Especially when the two individuals providing the bulk of that entertainment (our two girls) are on their "A" game. Last night we had a little BBQ going. I'm talking hot dogs, potato salad, fries, the works! With a meal like this there actually isn't much talking, just eating. The peace wouldn't last however when I uttered these, now famous in our house, words. "Can someone please pass me the wieners?" I know it's kind of an old fashioned term for hot dogs, but sometimes I like to go old school with my vocabulary. Well, the looks I got from both of my girls reminded me that while my comment may have been innocent enough, the term wiener has a whole different meaning in the world of grade schoolers. My oldest, after trying to wrap her brain around the fact that Dad just announced the word WIENER at the dinner table said "Dad, that's gross!" My youngest then breaks into what I assume is laughter, but is mostly snickers and heavy breathing. My wife, always trying to keep our girls away from such thoughts, starts in with "well you know, that is what some people call hot dogs." Then, out of know where comes the somewhat accurate history lesson. "In Germany" she continues..."they make hot dogs called wiener schnitzels and that is where the term wiener actually comes from." Thank you professor, but at this point we have used the term wiener so much that it wouldn't matter how we tried to justify it, all our girls heard was WIENER, WIENER WIENER...BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...WIENER. Now our oldest has joined the barley breathing laugh parade. My wife tries to close the matter by saying "so do you understand the difference between hot dog wieners and the other kind?" To which my daughter replies "ya, but I don't want to eat any wiener because they might have hair on them!" "OK, can someone pass me the hot dogs so I can eat now???"

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

The many faces of Michael Jackson

2009-06-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

The title of my post is not a crack on the "alleged" plastic surgery that Michael Jackson may or may not have had (wink wink). Instead, I wanted to use this time to give my take about the man, the artist and the different stages he went through during his very public life. I have a lot of different thoughts so I will do so in a list format:

1. The very first cassette tape I ever owned was "Thriller"
2. To this day I believe it is one of the best albums of all time
3. I would be glued to MTV every time one of MJ's videos came on
4. The music video for the song "Thriller" scared my younger siblings, but I thought it was awesome.
5. I didn't even know about the Jackson 5 until after the release of "Thriller"
6. I dubbed "Bad" from a friend
7. As I grew older my musical taste changed and I didn't own any other MJ albums
8. However I did still enjoy his music and videos...especially "Black and White" with Norm from "Cheers" in it.
9. When the news stories about MJ started to get more attention then his music I wrote it off as just another celebrity going off the deep end.
10. When allegations of alleged child abuse surfaced I thought either he has really gone off the deep end, or someone is looking to get paid.
11. When even more allegations of child abuse surface I thought he was probably guilty, and if he was he had enough money to never go to jail
12. I think I was right on that one
13. I thought it was sad what was happening to his appearance, both with the surgeries and the disease that was bleaching his skin
14. And yes, I do believe it was a disease...I don't think it's possible to bleach your skin on purpose, but I'm no doctor
15. I thought the marriage to the daughter of Elvis was just a publicity stunt
16. I think I was right again
17. I don't think it worked
18. I didn't think it was a good idea for MJ to father any children, given the messed up childhood he probably had and the alleged child abuse
19. I know I was right about that
20. After his death last week I was sad for his family, after all, no matter what you may of thought of him he was someones father, brother and son
21. I have no idea what the truth is about his personal life, and to be honest I really don't care.
22. I still love his music, and just downloaded "Off The Wall"
23. This is the first time I have ever owned this CD, and I think I like it better than "Thriller"
24. I do think he is one of the best artists the world will ever see
25. And also one of the most troubled

REST IN PEACE MJ

AND PEACE OUT DADS!!!

The bed trilogy, or..."you might smell something"

2009-06-28T21:29:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

My last two posts dealt with my my number 1a and number 1b favorite activities in bed, that being sex and sleep. I am a big fan of trilogies so I thought why not keep the theme going for one more post. But, instead of talking about my 3rd favorite bed activity (which would probably be watching tv...but who wants to read about that?) I will talk about my least favorite thing that happens in bed...flatulence! You know, the dutch oven, or as described in the Urban Dictionary by Lution Stackridge Esquire:

"Blowing hard ass wind under the covers several times and building up stench while your old lady is brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed, then when she gets into bed, pull the covers over her head and yell "Dutch Oven" and let her enjoy the stench of your ass gas for at least 30 seconds"

I don't know exactly what kind of marriage Mr. Stackridge has (pretty open minded I guess) but I don't take the Dutch Oven practice to that extreme. I won't say I abstain from the activity, I am probably as guilty as say, the person that sleeps next to me. But really, why is it that passing a little gas is so much worse in bed? I have smelt things under my sheets that would make teenage boys go crying to their mama. It's like our dog ate 3 day old baked beans, ninja'd her way under our sheets, took a huge growler, and got out Mission Impossible style right before I get into bed. If my better half decides to play this game it is usually proceeded by terms like "you might smell something" or "Don't come in here" or "I think I may have tooted". YA THINK??? What was your first clue, they giant mushroom cloud rising from the middle of our covers? I am much less subtle with my approach. The only warning my wife gets from me drilling farts into our mattress is the monstrous sounds coming from my innards about 2 seconds before the stench hits the air. I usually follow up these thunder claps with "ooops" or "what that me" or "Maggie, bad dog".

After one particularly loud and foul exchange, my wife, after the usual "come one" she starts in with "I may fart, but I never, EVER, do it in bed!" I had to turn on the lights to make sure I was sleeping with the right woman.

Farting in bed is something I think just becomes more acceptable the longer you are with someone. I think my wife and I have made and art form out of it, which give me a little cause for concern thinking about the next 50 or so years we will be together.

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

THE SEX POST

2009-06-25T19:56:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

For my post today I have decided to weigh in on the hot topic of sex. My number 1a favorite activity that happens in bed. In my previous post I talked about my number 1b favorite, sleep. But, come on...I'm a guy. Do you really think they are that close in my ranking system? Well, I guess that depends on the day. And today sex is my number one topic! Specifically my views of the sex lives of married parents. It seems like this is a topic that every parent blogger, married or not, will discuss at some point of their blogging lives. There is a very good reason why I have decided now was my time....cheap and easy readership. I mean really, who will pass up the chance to read a blog titled THE SEX POST? Whether you are getting some, not getting any, getting just enough to get by or getting more than Kid Rock...you are gonna read this post. I just have the awesome responsibility to do the subject justice. And since it is Fatherhood Friday over at Dad Blogs you could not ask for better timing. So why the all caps, very obvious headline? Well, while I keep a total anonymous profile, there are members of my immediate family that do read this blog, so Mom, how about you stop right here and skip over to one of your scrap booking sites. It will be better for both of us if you do.

OK, so what is my well thought out, very detailed, original view of the sex lives of married parents???

SEX IS GREAT!

Now, for those of you who are looking for a little more thought, a little more detail, a little more original (I'm talking to the women reading this post) please read on.

Sex is the fabric that holds a marriage together. Sure, there are many other things that are also important...most of which don't come to mind at the moment, but sex is the glue, the staples, the duct tape (we could go off on some strange fetish with that one, but I digress). When I was first dating my wife up to about, oh, say seven years ago before our first child was born, I was way more into quantity instead of quality. Don't get me wrong, I think every time my wife and I have had sex it's been great, but this is the male perspective so take that with a grain of salt. I wanted it all the time. It was like I was having my own personal contest with Wilt Chamberlain or something (although his count was with different women, but again, I digress). It took the birth of my two children and the amazing patience of my wife to teach me that quality is what counts when it comes to sex. I don't have to tell anybody with kids that sex gets put on the back burner every now and again. This is something that women understand instantly, but for men it takes a while, like years.

So how did I enter the temple of enlightenment? Did I take a seminar or consult a therapist or even better yet, read a great blog post like this one? I don't really know, but what I do know is that I am much happier with our sex life then I ever have been, and that includes when we did it like bunnies back in college. I don't know if it's age, the fact both of us is eating better and working out more, or just the inner peace I have, but you just can't touch the sex we have now. I can't even really find the proper words to describe it..but in the words of Def Leppard's classic Pour Some Sugar On Me....

"You got the peaches, I got the cream
Sweet to taste, saccharine
'Cos I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet
From my head, my head, to my feet

Do you take sugar? one lump or two?

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me"

PEACE OUT DADS!

Daddy needs sleep!

2009-06-24T08:16:00.001-07:00

WHAT NOW?

I will go on record right now and say that sleep is my number 1b thing to do in bed. Number 1a is of course sex, duh....but sleep is so close that I can't even say it's number 2. I love sleep. I have been a great sleeper since early childhood, from the stories I hear. As a teen I could sleep until 1pm during the summer time and not think twice about it. My senior year in high school a small earthquake hit about 300 miles away from our home town and I slept right though it. I sleep hard, and thus don't need as many hours during the night to get some really good rest. I have already chronicled, in great detail, the routine my wife must go through every night just to get to sleep and stay that way. For me, there is no routine needed. I hit the sheets, close my eyes, and in a few short minuets I am off to dreamland. There was nothing that could really disturb my peaceful slumber until something came along about 7 1/2 years ago....kids. From the day my oldest was born until last night I can't go more than a couple of nights in a row without getting woken up by one of my lovely, darling children. They are both guilty but have gone about their crimes in completely different ways. My oldest slept in our bed from about birth until about 2ish. I'll give you all one guess as to who thought that was a good idea. After that she has pretty much stayed in her bed and is showing the signs of having my sleeping genes. We started things much different with my youngest. She stayed in her crib/bed pretty well until she reached about 3ish, then decided that our bed was way better than hers. She would make 1-2 late night trips to our room and want to get into bed with us. It didn't take her long to figure out that her request would most likely be granted by Mom who was too tired to argue. I wouldn't find out she was snuggled up between us until her foot found it's way into my back. Then I would wake up, carry her to her bed, and then get back to bed. Again, it does not take long for me to find my way back to sleeping, but I still don't like the interruption. This winter I thought we had her trained to stay in her bed the whole night. Instead of the usual nightly trip(s) it was just once a week, or once every 10 days. Then we take a trip and share a condo with my in-laws, meaning we all share a room. My oldest crashed on the couch while my youngest had her dreams come true and share the bed with my wife and I, every night, all night...for 10 straight days. Ever since we got back she is back to the nightly visits. She will take the occasional night off, which my wife and I call the GOOD NIGHTS, but for the most part she is there, waking me up. The other major problem is she keeps getting bigger, meaning I have to carry more and the chance of a slipped disk or twisted ankle increases with every late night trip. Last night was a two tripper plus a "daddy, can you come in the bathroom with me while I go potty" night. Needless to say I am sipping on the 64 ounce coffee mug while I write this post, googling what the long term affects are from giving your child cough medicine every night, whether they have a cough or not. Well, only 15 more hours until I get to sleep again, unless my wife wants to get some...she is always bugging me for it. She must know it has 1a status or something.

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

Open the flood gates

2009-06-18T15:25:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

I have found something that I truly excel at. If I could find a way to earn money by performing this act of mine I am sure we could retire millionaires. It's not something I enjoy, and I feel horrible each and every time it happens and if I could I would never do it again. But, I know it will happen, a lot, for the rest of my life. What is this tremendous yet horrible gift I possess? Making my children cry. I have become very good at it over the years. I don't even have to lay a hand on them, and sometimes I don't even need to say a word. But, it happens, it seems over, and over, and over again. Like I said before, I don't like doing it, and I feel horribly guilty each and every time it happens. I can say that it only happens when I have to discipline them, which in my mind is way too often. My wife does a decent job of it herself, but in baseball terms she is still working her way through the minor leagues while I have established all-star status. If only the would listen to the words that come out of my mouth, and do the things I ask. If they did then I would have to take my talents back to the dog, and she just runs away instead of crying her eyes out. My oldest is the easy target. I have a look that, when used right, can send her into a crying fit only a man hit in the nuts with a sock full of pennies could rival. My youngest is a tougher nut to crack, only because she will use any and all means of negotiation while I try to grind her down. Soon enough not even her amazing skill of not caring what I say will break down and I'll have her sobbing like a baby getting her first teeth. As they get older the crying will continue I'm sure, but the reasons for it will change. Not being able to jump on the table will be replaced by not getting the must have outfit, then not being alone in her room with a boy, then not dating until she is 35, then...well, you get the point. I have a feeling this is a vicious cycle that will continue for some time to come. Maybe I could find a way to harness their crying to create a new energy source that could free us from the power of the local utility company, or save up the tears they shed and use them to water our garden each summer. Then maybe I won't feel so bad the next time it happens, or the next, or the next.....

PEACE OUT DADS!!!

Love the break, miss the kids

2009-06-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

WHAT NOW?

My wife and I were able to take a mini-vacation this past weekend sans kids. (and for those of you who read my last post you know we were in Boise, Idaho for the Ironman 70.3 triathlon...and yes, my wife finished it! Yeah for her!!!). They stayed with my folks and we got some very nice alone adult time. It had been a long time since we were able to get away like this. You can tell the second you start the drive that things are different.....silence. No questions, no fighting, no whining. It's like you have died and gone to road trip heaven. "B" and I were able to talk again, and not about who did what on the playground, or what new toy has to be bought now but about grown up items and grown up issues. We could curse again...man do I miss cursing when you just really need to use those words to describe something or express how you really feel. Oh, and there was no spelling of controversial topics or people we know..."did you hear that J-O-D-I took P-A-M to the doctor again...can you believe how she treats her C-H-I-L-D?" When I had to pull over I said "I gotta pee" instead of "I gotta use the potty." Our stay was just as nice. We ate when we wanted, we went to bed when we wanted and...best of all we slept in until we wanted. We were on our schedule and not at the mercy of people 30 years younger and a third our size. Friend of ours that made the trip as well did bring there kids...and guess how much we saw them??? Hardly at all, because we didn't want to be reminded of how the weekend could have been. We were free, we were alive...if you threw in some heavy drinking and "when ever we wanted" sex it would have been like when we were first married (my wife was there for a grueling athletic event, or those things might have happened ;). Then Sunday came. We packed our bags, checked out of our hotel, grabbed a bite to eat and hit the road. It was back to reality for us and good-bye to our past lives. Hmmmmmmm. It wasn't more than a couple miles down the road when my wife looked at me and said "I miss the kids." I kept my eyes on the road and replied "me too."

PEACE OUT DADS!!!