Separation Anxiety

What Now?

Since we moved into our current house about 5 years ago our two girls have shared a room. The upstairs has the master suite (or the adult playroom as I like to call it), another large room and a smallish room plus another bathroom. The bathroom is plenty big for both girls and even has two sinks, not that they ever use it. I basically share a bathroom with three women. Sometimes I think I should take over the girls bathroom, but that is for another post.

We decided it made the most sense to put both girls in the big room and use the small room for toys, games, puzzles and all the other things we are accumulating as parents. Our girls are only two years apart (7 and 5 for those keeping score at home) and get along like best friends 90% of the time (the other 10% they are mortal enemies sworn to destroy each other). This set-up has worked out great for us but my wife and I knew a day would come when our oldest would want her own room....and my friend, it seems that day is now!

Our oldest has been dropping hints for a couple of weeks now. "Dad, when I get my own room can I paint it a different color?" "Mom, how old were you when you got your own room?" To be honest I didn't think she would want to move until she was a little older and that these questions were just that, questions.

Well, she flat out said this weekend she would like to move into the toy room and make it her bedroom. We even inflated the guest bed (yeah, we use a blow-up bed for guests...guess who doesn't like guests???) and put it in the toy room so she could try it out. It didn't take long for redecorating and wall color planning.

My wife and I say it every day "The girls are growing up so fast, can you believe how big they are getting, did you hear what she said...damn, it's like she is a teenager already!" This move for more independence is just further proof that we can't stop our little girl from growing up, we can only hope to contain her (EPSN reference for those of you keeping score at home). My biggest fear is how our youngest is going to take this move. She clings to her older sister like gum on the bottom of a table. While big sister is ready to spread her wings and fly a little higher, little sister likes keeping her feet on the ground in the same room together.

One of the positives we see is the ability to put the girls down for bed a different times. Our oldest struggles a little having to go to bed as the same time as your younger sister, but unless we want meltdown mayhem each and every night we have to keep it that way. Also, I see this as a real opportunity for our youngest to find a little independence for herself. She will always be the baby in my eyes, but having her own space may be just what she needs so she doesn't always feel like the baby.

Since it looks like there is no way to prolong this move any further we are going to start to make the change this weekend. Moving beds, clothes, books and a couple of very heavy pieces of furniture will begin on Saturday morning and should be all completed by Sunday evening. That will be the true test for both girls. As for me, I think I need to buy a magazine rack for the girls bathroom....I'm feeling the need for my own form of independence.

PEACE OUT DADS!

The children's museum and the parenting exhibit

WHAT NOW?

Day three of the family road trip had one, and only one, objective. Go to and enjoy the hell out of the Portland Children's Museum. This time is was me and the kids sans wife. She had to attend more work meetings which meant I was the sole parental entertainer for the day. I had the plan and it was going to work to perfection or there was going to be hell to pay!

OK, that is a little extreme, but a little extra drama could be good for the ratings, right? After we all kissed my wife goodbye I jumped in the bathroom for the s, s & s, got dressed, got the kids dressed, made sure everyone brushed their teeth, packed up the stuff, took three trips to pack up the car, double checked the room, got the kids packed in the car, forgot the glasses from the room were in the car, make another trip to the room, triple checked everything, got back into the car and hit the road for our big day.

We arrived at the C.M. and found the same parking chaos that greeted us the day before at the zoo. Don't people in Portland work for crying out loud? And if they don't then shouldn't they be saving their money instead of paying to see the local attractions? Actually, we only had to look for a spot for about 10 minuets so not too bad. The kids were still fired up and we were ready for fun.

Now, I'm sure you are thinking "kid's museum, why in the hell would you subject yourself to that?" "are there exhibits of ugly kids, asshole kids, fat kids next to tall kids?" No, nothing like that, but it is a place that parents can turn their kids loose and catch up with them several hours later without having to lift a finger, answer a question or do anything remotely resembling parenting. In other words...a little vacation within the vacation.

What is great is that while you, the parent, can take a break from parenting your own kids, you can observe other parents either doing or not doing the same thing. Some parents just can't let little Jimmy do anything on his own so they are their, helping him mold his clay, shoot the water gun and get dressed in silly costumes. Poor kid probably hasn't wiped his own ass, ever. Then there are the parents who do such a good job of "non-parenting" they don't notice when their sweet baby is tearing apart the exhibits or eating the fake rocks or kicking the poor volunteer who thought "helping kids" was what they wanted to spend their retirement years doing...poor bastards!

I think I fall somewhere in-between. Staying out of my kids hair long enough for them to feel a little Independence yet keeping enough of one eye on them to make sure they see mom in one piece later that afternoon. Plus, I can just enjoy relaxing, something that family road trips are not known for.

Day 4 tomorrow, bring on your best Seattle...cause we are coming!

PEACE OUT DADS!