WND Updates

What Now?

I think Tuesday is a great day to lay down some updates from from previous blog posts, so here goes.

1. Trip to the county fair - I received a lot (and by a lot I mean about two) of comments from parents telling me how much they dislike the good old county fair. One even went as far to say that they hate Disneyland too, like you can just lump the happiest place on earth with the freak show county fair. I know there are some families that are not into the mouse house...but our family is not one of them. In fact we have a trip planned there this December to celebrate our girls birthdays. The one downer is the price of food, I must say. You could eat all night long at your local county fair for the price of one meal at Disneyland...and almost get as sick.

2. Screaming soccer child - We have had three games since the devil possessed that little girl on our team, and I am happy to report she has been exorcised and is back to her normal sweet self, kind of. My wife, the assistant coach of the team, did have to get a little stern with her during one game. After it was over my wife had that "I'm going to kick that little girl into the goal" look....but cooler head prevailed. Another game tonight....hope full there will be no bloodshed.

3. Doctor visit - After poop smearing a piece of cardboard, getting my junk groped and welcoming Mr. Gooey Finger into my most private of privates....I have high cholesterol again! I was on medication for it about two years back, and it really helped. After loosing about 25 pounds with diet and exercise I thought I could go off the medication and all would be good. Wrong! I am here to tell you that genetics trumps good living. So now that I am back on medication I'm thinking of kicking back on the couch for about a month eating nothing but donut holes and cheese wiz. Suck on that genetics!

4. Home alone - My wife got back from her trip late on Friday night. The house was stills standing, the kids were still breathing, and I was still sane. I don't know how much longer it could have gone that way without her there. I'm glad you are back B, I love ya so much!

OK, that catches everybody up on my little life for the past couple of weeks. Have a great Tuesday and catch y'all next time.

PEACE OUT DADS!

SCREAMING FOR SOCCER!

What Now?

Yesterday the girls' fall micro-soccer season began. Both of my girls love soccer, well..my oldest loves playing soccer and my youngest loves putting on the uniform and the after game snacks. As in past seasons we volunteered to help coach with our friends who's two daughters are best buddies with our two girls, that way they could play on the same team (the oldest girls play on one team and the youngest girls play on another). We showed up a little early so the kids could all meet and talk before the first game. I walked K, our oldest, over to her field and got her set up (which she really doesn't need anymore, but I still like to pretend I am needed in this respect). My wife and I then wait for our coaching friend at the field R will be playing at. And we wait...and wait...and wait. It seems she is running a little late so we gather up the kids so we can get the game going. Just before the first kick she comes screaming in with both of her girls in tow. She recently took a new job and so her being a little late is no big surprise. She looked a little frazzled, but my wife was there to help so I ran over to watch K's game.

At halftime of each of the games my wife and I try to switch so we can watch each girl. I ran back over to R's field to make the switch...that is when all holy hell broke loose. Our friend, the coach, was trying to console her daughter before the start of the second half (the coaches are on the field with the kids in our little league)...and that little girl was having nothing to do with that. It was clear she wanted her mom, she wanted to go home, and she didn't care who knew it. So coach mom ran back onto the field followed by her screaming daughter. And when I say screaming I don't mean just screaming. I mean she was screaming like her hair was on fire. So coach mom is trying to coach, trying to settle her daughter down and trying not to loose her mind. Thinking I could help I yelled across the field to her to see if she wanted me to take over coaching duties. She said no and continued this craziness. Another mother of the team who also knows the coach mom and her daughter tried, unsuccessfully, to calm this child down. Now, I have never met the devil, but I swear it was possessing this little girl at that moment. I even think her voice dropped several octaves and steam started pouring out of her ears while her face turned the shade of a firetruck. I could tell coach mom was about to loose it...and I mean in a big way. I can't imagine what her day was like before this, but if there was ever going to be a chance of a soccer mom coach going postal this was it. As I surveyed the scene I did overhear the devil child say she wanted to watch her sister's game. Thinking fast, for me anyway, I told her I would take her over to watch the other game...and, after giving me a look that shook me to my very core, she agreed. I ran over to the other field and dropped her off with my wife who was watching K's game. She seemed to mellow out and all was good from there on.

After both games my wife went to talk to coach mom and all coach mom could do it hug my wife and cry. I felt so bad for her...clearly this was the topper to a pretty shitty day. As the kids all enjoyed their after game snacks we talked about upcoming games and schedules. Coach mom was coming down some and devil daughter seemed to have been released from her possession. Our next game is tomorrow....might be a good one to skip.

PEACE OUT DADS!