Fakin' it

What Now?

We have all done it. My friends did it. My brother and sister did it. My wife did it. Hell, I did it all the time. Every kid that has gone to school has done it at least once in their life. Faking sick to stay home from school. The weather sucks, you have a test you haven't studied for, your friends pissed you off the other day...whatever the reason is you just don't want to go to school and the only way your parents are going to let you skip classes is if you are sick, really sick. When you grow up and become a contributing member of society you still do it, but you call it a mental health day. You make your voice sound raspy and out of breath, call your office and tell them you just don't feel well and think it's best that you stay home. Kids don't get off so easy. Their performance is in front of a live audience. An audience that that discredits their act even before it starts, and looks for any and all flaws that might prove the performer is just "acting" the part.

On Saturday our youngest was complaining of a sore throat, upset stomach and headache and she was burning up, 102 temperature. My wife, ever the illness inspector, took her in to see the doctor right away because, in case you are unaware...there is apparently some pig virus causing a bit of a panic right now. It turned out not to be the pig thing, and instead was just strep throat. We spend the weekend in chill mode and waiting on her hand and foot, because that is what you do with a sick child to keep peace in the house.

It was determined on Sunday evening that our patient would have to miss school on Monday. It only took about 15 minuets after that decision was made for our oldest to sharpen up her thespian skills and put on her show. "Dad, Mom....my stomach hurts." You could almost hear the violins playing in the background. As a veteran of such theatrics I knew what was going on here, but my wife insisted we take her seriously just in case she was indeed "sick".

Our oldest must have gotten such a good night of sleep she forgot act 1 of her show and proceeded to go about her normal morning routine, full of energy and ready for the day. After a little while the light bulb must have gone off. "Mom, Dad....my stomach still hurts and I don't feel well". Really???? I immediately start with 20 questions, trying to break my daughter and make her admit this was a fake out. Again, my wife interceded and checked my daughter out. No temperature. I knew it!! FAKER, FAKER....NOW I HAVE TO TAKE HER..too school. My wife convinced our oldest to go to school but did give her a get out of school card free with promise we would come get her if she started feeling worse.

It was a miserable day. Rain, wind, dark sky. Heck, I wanted to leave my office, go home and crawl into bed. It was about 1pm when I got the call from the school nurse. "Your daughter is here in the office complaining of a stomach ache" (how do kids know to go with the stomach ache....no way to tell if it really hurts or not, brilliant!). Again, no fever but she says she feels bad. She must have looked out the window too. And, it didn't help that one of her good friends from school left with his parents about an hour before because his stomach hurt. What to do, what to do. If I go get her I give her the knowledge that faking a stomach that hurts gets you out of school. If I don't get her I am the Dad that keeps their kid in school with a potential life threatening stomach pain. Hmmmmmmmmm, tough choice.

After I picked her up and got her home she again suffered a quick memory lapse by running upstairs and in a very healthy sounding voice told her sister she got to stay home too. Big faker! You win this round little one, but I am on to you.

PEACE OUT DADS!

That really grinds my gears!!!

What Now?

Like all good parents who don't want their children get violently ill from the seasonal flu we scheduled shots way back in early September. The earliest we could get in to get their shots was late October. That seems a little late considering it only takes 10 seconds per kid, but whatever, we can be patient and hope Mr. Flu does not visit our house for almost 2 months. Yesterday I get a call from our pediatrician informing me they had to cancel the flu shot appointment for my kids. Hmmm, OK...."why?" I ask. "It's because we have ran out of our seasonal flu shots." says the nice lady on the other end of the phone. "When can we reschedule?" I ask. "We are not sure since we don't know if we'll be getting anymore of the seasonal flu shot." says the lady on the phone. "Ummm, OK...."what are you suggesting parents do in this situation?" I ask. "Um, well...you could try going to a local pharmacy." said the bitch on the phone who clearly does not care if my children get sick or not. I normally hate using just acronyms in my blog posts but WTF!!!! How in bloody hell do you run out of the seasonal flu shot in mid-October? Did you not think the same number of parents would want their kids to get it, or do you think that exposing kids to the seasonal flu is a better option then giving them the fucking shot? My wife looked up reasons for running out of the flu shot and found out the same people that make the seasonal flu shot are also making the H1N1 vaccine....and we don't have that around here either.

After a week of hearing about banks making record profits but still not lending to clients and investment firms paying out their huge bonuses again I was already loosing my faith in the American Dream...then I get news that my kids can't get flu shots because they ran out!!! That shit really grinds my gears. I am normally pretty level headed and don't rant that much, but come on people!

Am I alone on this, do you feel the same way, is there something that really grinds your gears? Let me know about it and I'll post the best gear grinders in my next post!

PEACE OUT AND LET ME HEAR IT DADS!

Make my day!

What Now?

For most families there is a certain routine to each and every day of our lives. Of course you get the odd event that changes the daily routine slightly, but for the most part each and every day is the same. I could draw a road map of my day, give it to a complete stranger, and rest assured they could follow it just like I do without fail. It's the routine that sometimes drives us crazy, making us long for the days when you never knew which direction your life would take from the second you opened your eyes to wake up each morning. It's also the routine that reminds you what is really important in life. With that I would like to present the top ten things I look forward too each and every day, routine or not.

1. I am the first one in the family up most days to make the coffee, start the computer and let the dog out. I'm half asleep and most times wishing I was still in bed, but I love the 15 minuets of quiet!

2. My girls are usually awake about a half hour after me. They zombie walk downstairs, curl up on the couch and turn on a little morning TV. After they have woken up a little bit I take their breakfast orders. I am not the cook in the family but I am the breakfast maker. I make a bit of a production out of it by taking their orders, setting a nice table, calling them to eat. It's not gourmet, but it's good enough for me.

3. My wife is the last one up, but she deserves it. She comes down, makes her coffee and we exchange a kiss and a booty pat/grab. It could be my favorite part of the morning.

4. My wife and I take turns dropping off our girls at their school, and I love when it's my turn. To see how excited they get meeting their friends for the day is so heart warming. Oh, if I could be a fly on the wall for the whole school day!

5. It doesn't happen every day, but there are some mornings my Mom will call me to join here for coffee. We meet at Starbucks and catch up a little. I feel pretty lucky to have that connection with my Mom, and I love the coffee!!

6. I get to pick up our girls from school each day and my youngest rides a bus from her kindergarten class to the main school. I make sure to be there waiting before the bus pulls up so I can wave to her (and all of her classmates) as the bus drives up. When she gets off the bus she runs to me yelling "Hi daddy!" in the cutest voice ever. Those are the moments that just melt my heart!

7. When we get home from school and before my wife comes home from work I have my opportunity to work out. It is my time for me and I love to work up a good sweat. That one hour each day makes the other 23 so much better in so many ways.

8. When my wife gets home from work I get my kiss and booty pat/grab for the second time of the day, but since it's been about 8 hours since I last saw her I milk it just a little bit longer. If not for the kids wanting 100% of her attention I would carry her upstairs and do very adult things with her....but, that is not the life of a parent so I gladly step aside and give in to MOM time.

9. After dinner, game/movie time and book reading it's time to put the kids to bed. My oldest, in an attempt to stay up longer, will give me about a weeks worth of information all at once. While I know this is a going to be prevention exercise, I just love listening to her. It's really my best opportunity to hear what is going on in her world straight from her.

10. After the kids are asleep and the house is quiet again it's just me and my wife. Even if numbers 1-9 on my list don't fulfill my day like normal I know that this one will. I almost hate going to bed knowing I have to wait so long for that time again, but when it comes it's so worth the wait.

PEACE OUT DADS!

Let the music play

What Now?

I am sitting here in my office listening to http://www.pandora.com/ trying to decide what to write about. I love pandora! My wife introduced this music web site to me a few months back. She knows how much I love music, all music. I can listen to just about anything, it just depends on the mood I'm in. This time of year usually makes me drift toward the crooners. Singers like Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Tony Bennett...the good old boys. My favorite is Dean Martin. GOD I LOVE DEAN. I recently heard my favorite Deano song "Sway" on a car commercial. Even a techno, funked up version gets my blood going. I mean really, dim the lights, start up a few candles, pour some big glasses of red wine, start a fire and turn on Dean Martin and enjoy the company of my beautiful wife....my perfect night!

There are other times when nothing hits the spot like some hard rock. Give me AC/DC, Van Halen, Motley Crue, Def Leppard and Kiss when I just gotta rock. It could be mowing the lawn, going for a run, cleaning out the garage...sometimes I gotta turn it up and let it go! When I wanna rock, I believe these too be true:

1. If it's too loud, you're too old!
2. It's better to burn out than fade away!
3. She's Knockin' me out with those American thighs
4. I get up, and nothing gets me down. You got it tough. I've seen the toughest around.
5. SHOUT, SHOUT...SHOUT AT THE DEVIL!

My senior year of high school and first couple years of college were dominated by the rap music. From Young MC's "Bust a Move" to Public Enemy's "Fight The Power" and everything in between I loved it all. My last couple years of college and first few in the real world were all about the Seattle Grunge scene. I lived in the Pacific Northwest so this was my music. One of the best concerts I have ever seen was Pearl Jam in Seattle for their Vs. tour. It was the last show of that tour and it was AMAZING! Eddie Vedder beat a hole into the stage with his mic stand and crawled down it after their last song. For their first encore the whole band crawled back through the hole to get on stage and they played "Jeremy"....at the time I thought it was the greatest thing I had ever seen.

As the years passed I took my turns with pop country during the Garth and Shania days. I rocked hard to the rap/metal bands like Limp Bizkit and Kid Rock. These days I try to keep up with singers like Jason Mraz and Jack Johnson when I just want to mellow out. And I have even found kids music that both my girls and I can enjoy like Lauri Berkner and Justin Roberts.

To me all music is good music and without it our lives would be rather dull and quiet. Oh, Pandora just played the Elvis version of "Fever".....nice! I think of "sexy time" whenever I hear this song. I need to send my wife a quick email now, then I gotta figure out what I'm going to write on this blog...until then I'll just "Let the music play, she won't get away, This groove she can't ignore, she won't leave me anymore - No, no, no!"

PEACE OUT DADS AND HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

I am the biggest loser

What Now?

"I am the biggest loser!" That is what I either say out loud or think to myself every time I join my wife to watch that show. Why, oh why, do I watch it? It is her favorite, the one show she will make time to watch during it's regularly scheduled broadcast without wishing she could zip past the commercials with the help of the DVR. She has been a fan of the show since it's first season with that pudgy, blond female comedian as it's host (wonder what she is up too now?) She got me hooked in about 3 seasons ago, what the fuck?!?!?! How did I, a consumer of fine television, get sucked into watching this crazy world of 18 hour a day workouts, blatant product placement, two gender obscure trainers (she is way more masculine than he is!) and some chick who's day job is playing a train wreck on one of the still remaining noon time soap operas (and how in the hell did I know that was her day job????).

Not only do I watch, but I also get into discussions about the show with my wife. She is really into it, and so am I. For some reason I care if a constant only loses 4 pounds after spending their last chance workout playing tug-of-war with the manly Jillian while she screams "why the f$@k are you so fat you fat fatty fatterstein!!" I censored the bad word in this sentence because you can't say "fuck" on TV. Last night we cheered, yes, stood up, clapped our hands together and verbally cheered when the biggest girl on the show dropped a 16 spot to give her team the big win. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ME? I haven't cheered that loud while watching TV since Micheal Jordan sank the game winning shot against the Jazz to win his 6th NBA championship. But here I was, standing in my nighttime uniform (that being t-shirt and flannel pants, you know...what you where after you get out of your work clothes but before you get on your sleeping uniform. My wife wears a hoody sweatshirt and chino pants. It's our thing.)

One of the contestants didn't even know there was a cash prize for winning....he was just happy to be there to loose weight. WOW, that guy is clueless. My wife has a plan to gain a shitload of weight, get on the show, loose it all and then pocket the $100k. Yes, we had that conversation, and yes...I think she may be a little serious about it.

I can't really explain my fascination with this show. If I could then I would be able to tackle other time sucks like Facebook, bubble shooter, TMZ, The Twilight movies, Jon and Kate Plus 8, The National Enquirer (do you qualify to be a reader of this publication if the only time you look at it is in line at the grocery store, hmmmmm?), boy band music, the local paper obituaries and city council meetings. I don't know and I probably never will....thus, I am the biggest loser!

PEACE OUT DADS!

Separation Anxiety

What Now?

Since we moved into our current house about 5 years ago our two girls have shared a room. The upstairs has the master suite (or the adult playroom as I like to call it), another large room and a smallish room plus another bathroom. The bathroom is plenty big for both girls and even has two sinks, not that they ever use it. I basically share a bathroom with three women. Sometimes I think I should take over the girls bathroom, but that is for another post.

We decided it made the most sense to put both girls in the big room and use the small room for toys, games, puzzles and all the other things we are accumulating as parents. Our girls are only two years apart (7 and 5 for those keeping score at home) and get along like best friends 90% of the time (the other 10% they are mortal enemies sworn to destroy each other). This set-up has worked out great for us but my wife and I knew a day would come when our oldest would want her own room....and my friend, it seems that day is now!

Our oldest has been dropping hints for a couple of weeks now. "Dad, when I get my own room can I paint it a different color?" "Mom, how old were you when you got your own room?" To be honest I didn't think she would want to move until she was a little older and that these questions were just that, questions.

Well, she flat out said this weekend she would like to move into the toy room and make it her bedroom. We even inflated the guest bed (yeah, we use a blow-up bed for guests...guess who doesn't like guests???) and put it in the toy room so she could try it out. It didn't take long for redecorating and wall color planning.

My wife and I say it every day "The girls are growing up so fast, can you believe how big they are getting, did you hear what she said...damn, it's like she is a teenager already!" This move for more independence is just further proof that we can't stop our little girl from growing up, we can only hope to contain her (EPSN reference for those of you keeping score at home). My biggest fear is how our youngest is going to take this move. She clings to her older sister like gum on the bottom of a table. While big sister is ready to spread her wings and fly a little higher, little sister likes keeping her feet on the ground in the same room together.

One of the positives we see is the ability to put the girls down for bed a different times. Our oldest struggles a little having to go to bed as the same time as your younger sister, but unless we want meltdown mayhem each and every night we have to keep it that way. Also, I see this as a real opportunity for our youngest to find a little independence for herself. She will always be the baby in my eyes, but having her own space may be just what she needs so she doesn't always feel like the baby.

Since it looks like there is no way to prolong this move any further we are going to start to make the change this weekend. Moving beds, clothes, books and a couple of very heavy pieces of furniture will begin on Saturday morning and should be all completed by Sunday evening. That will be the true test for both girls. As for me, I think I need to buy a magazine rack for the girls bathroom....I'm feeling the need for my own form of independence.

PEACE OUT DADS!

Loving the Fall

What Now?

I am a HUGE fan of the Fall season. I always have been and always will be. My wife kind of dreads the Fall because of the colder weather. My kids want to blow right past Fall and get to winter. For me, give me Fall anytime. Why do I love it so much, well....let me count the ways:

1. The scenery. Where I live it gets just beautiful this time of year.

2. The start of school. Not only for my kids, but the local university and it's surge of students bring a energy to our town that I love.

3. The soups. Colder weather means more soups at meal time. My wife makes great soup and it's a lot easier to enjoy when there is a nip in the air.

4. The wardrobe. My cold weather wardrobe is so much better than my warm weather one. Sweaters, jeans, cords, jackets....I'm much closer to a J. Crew model in the Fall than I am in any other month.

5. The county fair. Have I mentioned how much I love the fair?

6. Football. Enough said!

7. Halloween. My second favorite holiday during my most favorite time of year. Dressing up, candy, parties....and the kids seem to like it as well.

8. The coffee. I really don't like my coffee on ice, but I sweat like balls if I drink hot coffee in the summer. When the weather cools down I like my coffee HOT, like my wife!

9. The beer. My favorite beer of all time, Kona Brewery's Pipeline Porter is released in the Fall after disappearing from the shelves in the Spring and Summer. I've already gone through two 6 packs...man that was a fun night!

10. The pumpkins. The past couple of years we have grown our very own organic pumpkin patch. It is great fun for the whole family and we take great pride in it. This year we started seeds inside at the tail end of winter, got them in the ground in the spring, and just cut them off last week. I am very proud to report we had our best crop yet, including 3 weighing in at 84, 90 and 104 pounds respectively. Now that is a big pumpkin

For these ten reasons, and many, many more I pronounce my love for the Fall! Now, time for a coffee run!

PEACE OUT DADS!