I am the biggest loser

What Now?

"I am the biggest loser!" That is what I either say out loud or think to myself every time I join my wife to watch that show. Why, oh why, do I watch it? It is her favorite, the one show she will make time to watch during it's regularly scheduled broadcast without wishing she could zip past the commercials with the help of the DVR. She has been a fan of the show since it's first season with that pudgy, blond female comedian as it's host (wonder what she is up too now?) She got me hooked in about 3 seasons ago, what the fuck?!?!?! How did I, a consumer of fine television, get sucked into watching this crazy world of 18 hour a day workouts, blatant product placement, two gender obscure trainers (she is way more masculine than he is!) and some chick who's day job is playing a train wreck on one of the still remaining noon time soap operas (and how in the hell did I know that was her day job????).

Not only do I watch, but I also get into discussions about the show with my wife. She is really into it, and so am I. For some reason I care if a constant only loses 4 pounds after spending their last chance workout playing tug-of-war with the manly Jillian while she screams "why the f$@k are you so fat you fat fatty fatterstein!!" I censored the bad word in this sentence because you can't say "fuck" on TV. Last night we cheered, yes, stood up, clapped our hands together and verbally cheered when the biggest girl on the show dropped a 16 spot to give her team the big win. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ME? I haven't cheered that loud while watching TV since Micheal Jordan sank the game winning shot against the Jazz to win his 6th NBA championship. But here I was, standing in my nighttime uniform (that being t-shirt and flannel pants, you know...what you where after you get out of your work clothes but before you get on your sleeping uniform. My wife wears a hoody sweatshirt and chino pants. It's our thing.)

One of the contestants didn't even know there was a cash prize for winning....he was just happy to be there to loose weight. WOW, that guy is clueless. My wife has a plan to gain a shitload of weight, get on the show, loose it all and then pocket the $100k. Yes, we had that conversation, and yes...I think she may be a little serious about it.

I can't really explain my fascination with this show. If I could then I would be able to tackle other time sucks like Facebook, bubble shooter, TMZ, The Twilight movies, Jon and Kate Plus 8, The National Enquirer (do you qualify to be a reader of this publication if the only time you look at it is in line at the grocery store, hmmmmm?), boy band music, the local paper obituaries and city council meetings. I don't know and I probably never will....thus, I am the biggest loser!

PEACE OUT DADS!