Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Let mamma see those pearly whites

Now What?

Many of you know that in the Spring I made the bold decision to get braces at the tender age of 38. This is my second go around with this oral torture device because as a pre-teen I did not heed the words of my orthodontist when he said "keep using your retainer" and threw it in the trash instead (which I have come to learn was a mistake made by many of my peers). Needless to say my teeth started moving again and unless I took action soon I stood a great chance of loosing one of my bottom front teeth to the back of my mouth due to over crowding. So, I sucked it up and got the full tooth bling treatment.

One of the side effects I was lucky to get was some serious staining around each bracket. I'm not talking about a little extra yellowish color, I am talking dirt brown. My dentist said it looked like I had been smoking for the past ten years, which is better than saying it looked like I just ate a shit sandwich before coming in for my cleaning, but the meaning was still there. I was told it was just a hard spot for the toothbrush to reach and some people just react that way. Thankfully it was just superficial and could be cleaned off.....but at what price?

What they ended up using was the equivalent to a power washer shooing out a mixture of salt and water to blast off the shit, I mean plaque. After two hours my lips and gums felts like they had been worked over like a Mike Tyson punching bag. Oh, did I mention I needed to get a cavity filled in too...so half of my face was numb as well. I love my dentist!

I will say the results almost make up for the payment. My teeth have never been whiter. My wife stops me dead in my tracks about 10 times a day to check on them. I feel like one of the kids now "let me smell your breath to make sure you brushed your teeth well" I can almost hear her say. I will turn 39 in a couple of weeks and I am hoping to have the braces off by my next birthday, the big FOUR O. Only time and about 10 more dentist cleaning visits between now and then.

Peace out Dads!


  1. ugh I hate braces. I also threw out my retainer...felt like I had a falt piece of jolly ranchers hard candy shoved in the roof of my mouth. I tagged you in the Photo Tag game at my blog on tomorrows 8am post. Check it out when you get the chance.

  2. It is mighty brave of you to post that picture of yourself. I just hope that's not the 'after' shot.