Friday, July 10, 2009

Oops, I crapped my pants!


The other night at 5am I was woken up to the sound of someone puking their brains out in our bathroom. I stumbled my way to the door to see our oldest with her head in the toilet and my wife holding her hair back. My wife made an excellent puck friend for her sorority sisters so she knew exactly how to handle this situation. I went back to bed, my wife followed shortly and K grabbed a blanket and slept on the bathroom floor.

The next day K was treated to endless runs to the bathroom to take care of the runs she was feeling out of the other end. Unfortunately for her, and us, she has yet to experience the issues this kind of illness can have on your bowel control, thus...SHARTING! I was amazed that when describing K's issues with a friend they had never heard of the word shart. It's a simple combination of the words shit and fart, and is used often in our house, mostly as means to disgust or humor someone.

I don't know when in human development people start to figure out that when you have diarrhea, and you also fee like you have to pass gas, that it's best to make your way to the toilet or risk brown streaking your underwear, pants and very possibility the chair you are sitting on. I know there are still some adults that have problem with this control, not first hand of course..I don't shart, let me tell you a funny story now.

Friends of ours were telling us about their 9 year old son who refused to wear underwear. Even while playing sports he won't wear it, a jock strap or cup. After a long, hot baseball game the son ditched his clothes in the laundry room and headed upstairs. Our friend went in right after him to discover a rather large dirt trail in the seat of his uniform pants. She called him down and asked if he was feeling ok? He replied "I was just playing really hard out there mom!"

Sharting is never fun and for the child who experience it for the first (and in my daughters case over the last couple of days, 7th) time it can really be a head trip. Speaking of trips, this morning I almost tripped over one of her freshly soiled pairs of that is a wake up call.

As I wrap up the post my daughter, on her way downstairs, just informed me that the "area" that her poop comes from looks a little purple, while her sister's looks reddish. Nice!



  1. i totally know what sharting is! is that strange? lol sharting is never fun for anyone :-/ poor baby.

  2. That's too funny. I hope she's feeling better soon.

    Oh and yeah, I knew what sharting was as well...what does that say about me...

  3. I can see the comic book hereo now: SHARTMAN! You'd have a winner there my friend. Especially loved the fact that your wife was a "puke friend" for her Sorority...LMAO! And hey, I think our families share similar fun: "is used often in our house, mostly as means to disgust or humor someone"