WHAT NOW...
How come every time I hear this question from my wife I want to scream? Not because I am worried how she will react to my answer, or because my wife's butt looks big in everything she wears and there is no way I can pretend it doesn't, or because I don't love to discuss the really important issues with my wife. It's because her butt is not big, and does not look big to me, and when I tell her this it gets as far as her ear then drops out of sight. Does she not believe me when I say this? Would she rather I tell her "yes honey, you have a massive amount of junk in your trunk"? Does she really not want an answer because she has already made up her mind and she is really just talking to herself. Who knows??? I have been with my wife the better part of 2o years, and her body has gone through many, many changes...like all people that walk the earth. It would be impossible to think that a 30something woman will look the same as she did in college, especially after having two kids. I know all you see in the media is how super star so-and-so got her body back in shape only 5 hours after delivering her child. What they don't tell you is that she either a) really didn't have a child and did it just because it's all the rage in Hollywood, or b) she didn't eat anything during pregnancy and after birth the first two people to visit her where the plastic surgeon and the personal trainer. I understand the pressure that women feel to look their best, stay in shape, never ever age...but in my messed up male head if your significant other tells you that in his eyes you are the best looking, most in shape, hottest babe on the planet then that should be enough, right? WRONG!!! Thanks for playing. You may pick up your participation gift at the back door before you leave. If I could invent anything it would be a mirror that let women see themselves the way the men in their lives see them. Even though my wife and I have been together a long time I still will sneak peaks at her coming out of the shower. I still ogle her like I did back in college. I still think, no matter how many times she asks me that silly question, that she has the sweetest tush around! I also know that she will still ask, I will still answer, and I will still want to scream.
PEACE OUT DADS!!!
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you are DOOMED either way lol
ReplyDeleteNo man will ever have the answer to this situation. I do like the mirror idea, but how many women will want to check themselves out naked in the mirror all the time?
ReplyDeleteI jokingly called my wife "Thunder Thighs" once (back when we were in high school, no less), and I still get crap for it.
ReplyDeleteNO kidding, dude,,, I wish I had the words.
ReplyDelete"If I could invent anything it would be a mirror that let women see themselves the way the men in their lives see them. Even though my wife and I have been together a long time I still will sneak peaks at her coming out of the shower. I still ogle her like I did back in college. I still think, no matter how many times she asks me that silly question, that she has the sweetest tush around! I also know that she will still ask, I will still answer, and I will still want to scream."That, my friend, was one of the best slices of writing I've seen in a long time. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteIt's true that some pants or clothing will make your butt look great or not so great. So my suggestion (as a gay man) would be to say "I think your butt looks great in those pants"..or "I don't like the way those fit you". But if you say the latter, be sure to tell her which pants she looks great in.
ReplyDeleteI have many girl friends and have been asked that many times. I guess being a gay man and saying those things they never get offended...I don't know if the husband or straight man would get away with the same thing....Give it a whirl! :D
She just wants to know that your "Not just saying that because you have to". Show her. Grab it in the kitchen when no one's looking or as she is hopping into the car. If you show her she's sexy, she won't have to ask.
ReplyDeleteWeaselMomma's got it. Tell her and show her she's hot before she asks. Although, once she does, you're doomed.
ReplyDelete