Thursday, May 14, 2009


I was sitting in my office pondering what to write on the old blog today. I could talk about my little green garbage can (AKA my mini-van) working again, I could talk about some of the funny things my girls have been saying lately, I could even write a follow-up to yesterday's blog (I forgot a couple of other, very important, night time rituals my wife has...she pointed those out to me last night!). At that moment I decided I had to pee. We only have one restroom at our office space, and from my office I heard someone leave. When I turned the corner I saw it was our receptionist. JUST GREAT!!! I was about to enter the "kill zone" again. I don't know if I am weird or not, but I refuse to shit at my office. Like I said, it's a small space and just about everyone here is within ear shot and some within nose shot of it. I will make a run to the closest hotel to do my business if need be. Well, some of those I work with do not share my 'no poop" code, and our receptionist is a prime offender. It would be different I guess if she didn't just wreck it in there. I'm not talking about a little smell, something you can hold your breath for 10 seconds and no harm is done. This is a full on nasal assault. I don't know what that woman eats in the morning, but it sure does a masterful job of clearing her out...way out. Most times I decide to hold it for about a half hour or so and then make my pee run, but I was too far along for that to work. I took on last gulp of fresh air, ran in, took care of business and got out. And just when I think I have survived the worst of it, another co-worker is waiting to use the facilities after me. What in the hell do you think will be going through their head when they enter after I leave. I would love to explain that the smell of roasted dog crap they were about to enjoy was not my doing, but the reception area is too close for the real culprit not to I just head back to my desk knowing I getting the blame. I should post a memo "NO CRAPPING IN THIS EXTREMELY SMALL SPACE UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING TO TAKE FULL CREDIT FOR YOUR ACTIONS!" Well, at least I found something to write about now.



  1. That's funny. My office is big enough that I don't have to have that policy. Hell, sometimes I enjoy the break a good office poo offers.

  2. So true. It should be a moral law - particularly if the ventilation is not up to snuff.